81. New Years Intentions: Where is Your Energy Coming From?

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What is truly important when setting intentions: #1 Where are we truly coming from?#2 Dig into your true WHY #3 Are you getting your motivation from fear or love? At the end I will give you a practice, that will totally change your energy and awareness! Can't wait for you to listen!

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We have all of these pictures and ideas and mental patterns that tell us what is success. But pausing for a moment and being like, wow, I get to define really what success means for me and my life, like I get to define that.

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Hey, you guys, and welcome back to another episode. I am so excited for today's episode, because this is just my favorite time of year for personal development. And if you're anything like me, which I think that most of the listeners are just totally in this, like self development space, I love and has the same enthusiasm to really explore our inner self and our inner being and like, able to grow up and out of that, right, like, that's the exciting part of talking on the podcast of helping people move forward. And just like interweaving this fun kind of journey, and exploration and curiosity with it, like that's all part of it. And coming back to what's really important, coming back to what's true. So we can dig in a little bit deeper into your why and your intentions, and tap into that fierce powerful truth. So that you can move forward in that kind of energy that you want to create. A lot of the time, we without doing this work without kind of digging in a little bit deeper, we just allow the patterns, the samskaras those kind of like grooves and our what we've really built in like our past and our environment that isn't serving us anymore. But it's just so easily to get trapped up and kind of tripped up into those old patterns that it takes a certain amount of commitment. And also, like doing the work, right, like showing up. And I don't think I need to remind anybody here that like that can also be the fun part about it. Like doing the work can also just be this amazing journey, because we're like, whoa, like look at like how much has changed in the last year. And that's like, the best part about this time of year is because we get to look back and be like, Whoa, like, there's craziness that happens and all the milestones that I broke through. And like all the things that I have changed and being able to spend the time to reflect and have gratitude for it. Right, like we move forward. And we're like fierce warriors moving forward. But we also need to spend the time to reflect back and be like, Wow, I did a lot. I worked through a lot. Here I am now and use that energy to be a momentum force to drive you into January, because like any milestone that you stepped over and went through, like that's just going to be proof to yourself to your inner being that you can keep doing that as you move forward. And I also know our listeners like they want to dream big, like we're all dreaming big and this container, we can dream that big. Like I want you to dream as big as you can. Because we know that the grooves and those samskaras and those patterns of resistance. That's not who we are, right who we are, is so much more infinite and has so much more potential and expansion than just these parts within us that all they really need is some love and care and attention. And they also don't define how we show up as our future self. So I want to interweave in this episode. Come back to our intentions. So dig in a little bit deeper with our intention setting for this year, whatever it is for you, so that we can really dig into your true why so like get into the roots behind it and understand where you're getting your motivation from. Is it coming from fear or is it coming from a place of love? And then at the end of this episode, I want to give you this extremely powerful practice. I recently learned and one of my trainings and it's totally changed the game for me. So I hope that it can change the game for you. And just help you move forward with your intentions and just, you know, kind of getting through the the craziness of this time of year as well. So, okay, you guys, let's jump in New Year's intentions, like so fun, so exciting. We get a look at how do we want to move forward in our work life or our wellness life or, you know, our relationship life? Any kind of part where I mean, you already know like, you're already setting your intentions and there's so many fun like I love following Gabby Bernstein. I love doing her manifesting challenge. I just get so excited. Like I've already you know, pre done like the pre work and like so excited to dive in. And, and spending a little time just like journaling or thinking like, what is maybe one thing, like one thing you really want to focus on with your New Year's intentions? And how can you really nurture that one thing and give it the the respect and honoring it and loving it, and digging in a little bit deeper on all sides of it so that the energy once you've really gain that clarity, you can move forward with a certain amount of energy that's just gonna totally launch you in the right direction. And your lifeforce energy, you guys is the most powerful asset that you have your embodied energy is everything, everything in this world is a vibration. So if you're able to really tap into the energetic field like this force field, that surrounding the specific intention, that is what is going to be the biggest momentum that's going to carry you into wherever you want to desire. So just kind of keep that in the back of your mind as we move through some of these key concepts I want to bring into this episode today. So first, let's talk about where are we truly coming from? So where are you coming from? When you set this intention? A lot of the time, we forget that we have an innate worth and innate self worth within. And you don't have to do anything. You don't need to prove yourself. You don't need to reach for this innate worth. And we we know this, right? Like, we know that there's light love within us. And it can be hard to remember that it can even be harder to feel into that. So a lot of the time we forget about this innate worth, and we choose intentions based off of external validation. So we're choosing these intentions that are coming from a heart centered place because we want to feel that innate worth, but it's not going to guide us there, right? We can't find our worth in an external thing. And I love Marianne Williamson's book a return to love, she talks about you were born perfect. Like you're born 100% Perfect. And everything you've added on since then is useless. And when I read that in her book, I was like, no, like, I've worked so hard, though. Like, I've been busting my ass to get everything I desire. And I've been doing it and it's like, you kind of sit back and you realize,

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oh my gosh, like I've been just running around in circles. Because I've been trying to find that perfectionism and in all the external ways and trying to lose weight and trying to look a certain way in trying to find success in external things. Like relationships like my ex boyfriends, like trying to be in a relationship where they're giving me everything I'm I'm wanting to feel that is really inside of me. And I was just resistant to it and I just didn't feel it within and I didn't know it existed within and so all Lee's external, like, if we're trying to validate and prove our self worth through the external, it's going to be 100% pointless. So you're gonna spend all this energy, all this beautiful work with your new year and tension on something that's just gonna keep you in that hamster wheel, never ending trying to find your external, whatever it is success, desire self worth, that you don't need to prove yourself, it's already there. And we just need to shift and find that self worth within and understand that if we can come to our intentions from this insane place of oh my gosh, everything I have within me is exactly what I need to move forward. I don't need anything in my life, to make me feel this way. And a great example of just like digging into this is feeling into, like a feel good emotion, or a memory or something that just like, fills up your heart. Or maybe even just like looking at an old photograph of yourself as a kid. And just seeing the pure innocence and like just little cute bears like those little cheeks and just the like, pure love that you had when you were a seven year old kid like, you feel that in your heart rate now. Nothing in your external world changed in that moment, right? When you felt that love. It was tapping into that place of self worth. And that's where we're going over and over and over again, to feel the things that we actually want in our life. We want to feel love and energy and spirit and compassion and whatever it is, right. So it's coming from that place of wholeness of like, even if you can't feel it, like just knowing it's there will automatically shift the direction of your intention, just a little bit so that it's going to shoot off in the direction of like, what you actually want that desire to take you like what you actually want to feel, right, coming from a place of wholeness and self worth that you already know is innately within you. Okay, so Secondly, I want to talk about digging into your true y. So this goes into those feelings and those values and that energy shift. And knowing that you get to decide your life, right, you get to determine what is success for you. We have all of these pictures and ideas and mental patterns that tell us what is success. But pausing for a moment and being like wow, I get to define really what success means for me and my life. Like I get to define that. And that might not have been defined up until this moment, like realizing my definition of success is completely different than that person's definition of success and not person's definition of success. And a lot of the time we can forget that we really do live like this is our like, this is your life, right? Like you get to determine living it on your terms. And I understand a lot of the time we feel so pulled by other people's energy. And what we those patterns that we grew up in and maybe like You're like me where you're like, you're trying to be good, you're trying to be nice, you're trying to take care of other people. It's just a pattern within you. That's like, a lot of the time I'm like so my resistance when it shows up. It's like narcissistic and like angry and like, I don't want to be that person, right? I don't want to live in those patterns. I want to be a good person I want to show love. I want to have an open heart. But the resistance is against me thinking that I need to like feel that love. Because I have to put on a face or a mask to show I'm a good person. Right it gets really like we've done too. To the back into that external circumstances in these like patterns and these things that aren't serving me. And this whole bubble of defining success is like been skewed for me for so long and coming back home to the fact that it's like, Oh, I like I get to decide where you oh, let's like, what, like what does successful mean for me? And so, so many years, I've set intention in the past that just came like back into those already built in pattern. So it's just repeating myself back into the ditch, right back into that never ending cycle. So we have to kind of step out of our patterns, and be like, what are those feelings? What are those values that really helped me define success in my life. And I was in that intuitive eating, I was in this intuitive eating 12 week group, workshop and the end of the workshop, we received a list of all these different kinds of values, like, like, all the values you can imagine, like, oh, gosh, kindness, compassion, love, freedom, adventure, motivation, like, all all the words. And it was so clear to me what my three values are. And my three values are love, spirit, and understanding. So grounding myself in those values, that's what determines success for me. I can say, I'm really successful in my life, if I can be,

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and work on opening my heart more so that I can feel more love in my life towards my family, towards my partner towards myself, like I want to break open my heart space, so that I'm just radiating an energy of love. And within that, its presence, right, being fully present, not being caught up in my resistance, and my patterns and the grooves. And like, see the reality of each moments soaking up that moment, and like such a state of love. And then in my spirit, having freedom of Spirit is really important to me. So just like feeling the freedom to be myself. And then understanding is like ties into this whole personal growth. Like, I want to dig in deeper into the truths of life, because that's the yumminess to me, like that curiosity, that exploration that like, oh, like, each time I learned something and understand it on like a deep level, it changes the trajectory of my life. And it's like, very exciting for my soul to feel that and move through that. So once I like, saw these values, I was like, Whoa, like, that does change the definition of success for me. And it also changes just a little bit the path of my intention, like it's the same intention. But now I have these three values backing it up, where I can be like, oh, like, that's how I want to feel ready. Like, I want to feel these things. So how do I incorporate like, save the podcast? Like before I knew those three values. I didn't quite like have that backing of like, oh, how do I really want to feel how do I want the listeners to feel? How do I want to kind of shift the website so it's more of a journey and exploration and this like adventure of self and it just like brings kind of this new level of clarity and like beauty and to your intention and in beauty of self like it's really you like, we can all have kind of like there can be 10, Joe schmoes and they can all have the same intention. But what makes you having that specific intention different and it's like that it's like that values that you're why it's knowing, this is why I have this intention, and it just like creates this like uniqueness and individuality into it. Okay, so the third one and then we'll get into the practice is understanding where are we going to in our motivation from and a lot of the time, we're getting our motivation we're operating from a place of fear. So with I mean, like weight loss is just coming to the top of my head right now. cuz I've, like gone through this place of fear is coming from, like, I want to lose weight because I don't feel good enough in the body I'm at. And I'm not okay, and where I am now. So I need to change because I'm gonna get to a place where I feel okay about myself, right. And so you can tell it's just like such like this bubble of lack of this moment isn't good enough, my body's not good enough. So I'm gonna put this intention, this goal, to lose weight so that in the future, I will be where I want to be, I will feel what I need to feel I will feel good enough. And it like all ties back into that first like self worth what we had talked about, but it's, you'll know, like you'll know if you're setting an intention and it's backed with fear, right, you'll, you'll feel that sense of lack of this moment isn't good enough. So I'm setting this intention so that in the future, my life is going to be good enough. That's not the point. Right? Like, you need to know that you're good enough, this moment, right now, this body like you're living on a planet, like what you're looking at right now is all made of stardust, first of all 13 point 8 billion years ago. And it's all formed and a magnitude of all these different elements to combine into this moment so that you can exist in this moment, exactly as you are. Like, if you like looking at what's around you right now, if you're not just in a sense of awe of like what I'm in, I'm on a planet right now spinning in the middle of nowhere, and complete outer space blackness that is infinite and keeps going. If that doesn't give you a sense of like, whoa, like, this moment is pretty special, like this body that I have is insane. And coming in like that, for instance, that was just an example that always kind of brings me back to like, whoa, okay, I need to like check myself and come back into this, like gratitude. Like, it doesn't mean that you're not wanting to be better, like you were wanting, like self growth. And maybe yeah, the future might feel better, right? But we're coming from first a place of acceptance and love and just like divinity of what is and be like, Oh my God, you're so good. And I'm so excited to see what's next. Right? Like, this is so like, I'm just like, filled with like, yes. And I want Yes, yes. Yes. It's like, there's so much love, like there's an infinite amount of love you can come into. So here's the new game, right? Your you find your motivation from a place of love. When you're like coming in, like you're like, I like want that energy. I want that motivation. Like find it from love. Like it's there within you already. Right? It's time to rise up and allow yourself to just love so fiercely, that you're just like, Oh, it's so good. Right? And then you come from that place. It's just like, the universe is gonna match that vibration, and it's just gonna guide you went to a place that's like, Oh, it's so yummy. And like, there's just like so much goodness and all of it. Okay, this is the end, you guys, and I want to give you this practice because I like it's so good. It's so good. And I want to let you know, I'm taking this breathwork facilitator program. I couldn't be more excited I signed up for it. I spent the big bucks, which was scary. And it's six months. And so it's a big time commitment, which was also scary and also like the most exciting thing ever, I believe so deeply in breath work. I mean, when I first started this podcast, and Madeline Hakka was my first interview, and her life completely transformed from breathwork. And just learning about like Wim Hof and they go into breathwork sessions at local yoga studios. It's like I can't believe there's this whole other dimension of personal growth and development, development that is so transformative, like the shifts I made I have made from embodiment work from tapping into the power of the body. It's just like magnified so much growth that I just like wasn't, I mean, I think I just like was in kind of the trap of like, the stories and the negative cycle that I can be in. And also like the overthinking, I mean, you guys know, like total overthinker here, and being able to really be into the wisdom of the body and shift from an energetic level. Like I can't put into words like how much I've changed over the last few weeks. And that feeling feels so freakin good. Because I get to share that with all of you. And it's like, I cannot wait, I have no idea how it's gonna turn out or what's going to happen or like, what avenue I can share this work with. But whatever happens, whatever it is, like, whatever it will be, is going to be so magnificent. And I just can't wait to share it with all of you. And this is one of the kind of first practices I learned in the breathwork facilitator program. And I want to share it with you. Because I think one, this is a really great practice for,

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for all those things we talked about with the intention and coming into a place of love and joy, while you're still healing, because they can exist at the same time, right? Like, we can still feel the yumminess and that energy in that positive and like, I'm going to dominate my intention for the new year. And we can be in a place of like, wow, there's still pain here. There's still healing, there's still things that I'm like knee, Lee, it's like sticky that I still want to move through. And we can exist in both of those at the same time. And then to this is a great practice for this time of year. So you guys know my intention of like, I just want to like break open my heart space. And I just want to be like, so present with my family. Because it's so important to me that like be in that place of presence and love. And I just want to like get my niece like little kisses all over her face. She's so cute. And I want to just be there really present for all of it. But I also know there's a lot of triggers, right family like dynamics, and you like kind of get pushed back into your old like childlike patterns. And one of my patterns is just kind of like completely shutting off. Like I just forget, like what's going on. Like, I just kind of let other people make decisions, which is great. Like, I kind of like be this more submissive because it's just like, easier for me. And the dynamic. And I've also healed that pattern and healing it to become more empowered, be more confident making decision showing up in my lifeforce energy. And so there's kind of that like duality. That sucks me back into my patterns, right. So this is a great practice for this time of year of like being around the commotion and busyness of holidays and being with your family. And, like allowing both things to exist, so allowing the like patterns and some of those traits that are no longer you, you're working through healing, and like pain, and whatever your intention that you want to feel like if it's love, like borrow that from me, you guys like love is love ends up Love is like the root of everything. So you can totally use that as your value. Or if there's something else that you like, want to, you know, you could kind of search on the internet like list of values and kind of pick a few that might be resonating. Anyway, that's not the practice though. The practice is so holding the duality of the pain and the joy. So the ego. And what we're probably used to is telling you that you can either feel good, like you can feel joy and love or you're on the opposite side, you're feeling negative, you're feeling pain, like you're feeling like the wounds. And that's an ego trait, right? That's a trait of the mind that says it needs to be one or the other. It's like this dualistic like this or this. When we're in a place of spirit and soul, it can hold so much abundance of so many different emotions at once. And all we need to do is bring in the awareness. Like just having that conscious awareness that Oh, Like my energy, I can hold both of these things at once, like it is possible to be in this space be in my container. And so the practice, like even just knowing that is beneficial. The practice you guys, and I'd love for you to try this out, you know, you can do this now, if you're not driving or like when you go home, just like a few minutes just to tap into this. Like I said, it's totally changed a lot of different things in my life. Like I was ski touring this morning. And it was like, so hard. Like, it was my first time ski touring for this season. And it was like, so painful and like you trying to like breathe and get up the mountain and my legs were tired. And I was like, wow, I can also like is can be really hard and sucky right now. And I can be like, well, it's so beautiful out like the, it's just like, you know, the moon was glowing, and the trees were gorgeous. And like the fresh air felt so good. And my lungs, and it's like, you can use this practice so much. And it took me a few times just to like really tap into this practice to like, really feel it and really embody it. And then once you know, it's like there, it's there within the body, like the body's wisdom holds on to it, you're solid. Okay, so first, and then close your eyes. Maybe take a few deep breaths just to center into the body. And bringing your awareness out of your mind out of the mental space and drop it down into your heart. And just even that little shift, feel how that went into that embodied place. And now you're in your body, you can place one hand over your heart space. And now just notice any place in your body that you're feeling resistance. So any place that feels tight, and it can be physically it can be emotionally. And you can even just start with a little body scan just to notice.

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And wherever you're feeling the resistance, you place your other hand. And I just invite you to do that. Or if that feels good. If not, then you don't have to place your hand on that place of resistance. And then allow yourself to really feel into that place in your body. So feel into that resistance. Like almost like it's like a wounded part of you that's just like asking to be heard, like asking to be listened to.

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And it helps me to even think of like, what is the experience of what's happening here in that place of resistance? Like,

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what is that little part of me need me to know, like, I'm just like, getting to know it. And the deeper I can feel into the pain deeper into that resistance. The more open it'll open up, right so like I just consciously know like, when we open up into that place of pain, it will be liberated, it will find more freedom and it like really just wants to be known and heard a lot of the time we're just like, in this place of resisting, pushing away the resistance. So open up to it more. Maybe take some deep breaths into the experience even more

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can you soften a little bit more soften into that space and allow that space to soften and once you've really like felt like you've had enough time to feel into that place of pain, then bring your awareness and attention into your heart space. So come back to your heart space. And just feel into that feeling of love. And like that fear self love and like even that just like Grace for yourself and And sometimes I like to think of my seven year old self and just think of her sweet face and just like, let that feeling warm up my heart.

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And now that you're in space, allow the duality of both the resistance pain and that warming sensation of love exist at the same time can you almost drop into your central channel. So imagine a lay running down from the crown of your head all the way down your spine down your tailbone. And this central channel is your center of lifeforce. So this is your soul, this is your center of being. And just allow that part of you to hold both the pain and the love in your field of awareness. So opening up that field of awareness. So it's almost like opening up the container of space, rest in your central channel, and just feel into both.

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And then slowly open your eyes come back. And you can do this practice with what I just guided you through, or you can just do it on your own when you get home. And maybe even doing it a few times. Just to it took me a few times, like I said just to like, drop into that place of empowered, like that light, that central channel that I said earlier, it's like, it took me a moment to like find that. And once I did, I was like, oh man, oh my gosh, I'm holding both. I feel like really empowered in this place. It was you guys, it's so liberating to feel that part that's like, I've got you, right, I've got all of you, I've got all these like million parts or whatever, not million, but I've got all these parts in me. And just knowing like I can hold whatever is in my awareness at the same time. It's like really, like, really feeling it too. So like a big thing going into this new year for me is really like living and leading from a place of embodiment. And so embodiment, we can't get into that place unless we're willing to put in the work of being in an embodied place, right? Like, I can't think my way. And I can't like mindset, my way into this part of my growth, I have to be like, Oh my gosh, okay, I gotta set some time, and be embodied like in the body, right, and like, learn from the wisdom of the body. And like I said, the transformation, you guys the shifts like, it's, like insane what happened. And it's like, I can't believe for so long, I was so resistant to putting in that work of just like, tapping into the wisdom of the body. Because the mind It's so catchy to just like want to be in there all the time and try to fix things in the mind. And like you're thinking and you're listening and podcasts, you're reading books, and you're doing this and the like, it's in the doing part, right. But you're not showing up in what you do. Like you're showing up in who you are. There's the difference, right? You're showing up in the magnificence of who you are, like, that's where the energy and vibration will carry you and lift you off into like your intentions, right? Every like step that we talked about today embodies a certain kind of energy, to allow you to feel into it to like, live in that place.

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You're essentially just like, you're essentially liberating yourself back into wholeness and actually feeling your way into that place. And there's so much freedom right? There's so much freedom when we know there's like all these pain points in the body. There's all these patterns. There's all these grooves there's all like all these things. And we can actually feel the separation of oh, this is my divine source. This is my energy this my lifeforce this these parts I can take care of them. I can love I'm so fiercely, but it's not who I am. Right? Who you are, is moving in that direction of your intentions of your vibration of that place of infinite love. Like, that's the direction that you're headed. And so you're tapping into that place of infinite wisdom. And that's what's gonna carry you. You don't have to think about it, you don't have to do more, you don't have to work harder. Like it's that unbecoming. That's what spirituality is. That's what personal growth is. It's untangling all the parts of yourself that are not you, so that you can be free, and tap into that place of who you truly are. And like, that's the juiciness of it, right? Like, that's the fun, like, exciting part. Like, I am so excited to discover more of who I am. Like, that's what it's all about, right? Like, I'm just like, so it's so juicy to know, well, I'm on this path of like, I get to uncover everything that I am not so that I can be free. I just like, be free, and fully allow myself to be myself. And whatever comes on that path and journey. It's just gonna be like icing on the cake. It's really sprinkles on the cupcake. Because I'm just like, already in this embody place, I'm already in this place where I feel all these feelings and move in this energy and interact with the people I wouldn't act and the universities alliance with exactly where you're at. That's the only thing stopping you. You don't have to think about it. You don't have to analyze it. We need to like start getting out of the head more so that we can free up like the space to actually make those parts untangle, not make but like allow them to untangle allow those wounded parts to liberate back into wholeness. Okay, you guys, I love you, I love you. Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoy this episode, if it gave you positive energy, share it with somebody that you love, or share with somebody like a friend or pop it up on Instagram and tag me in it. That's the best way to support me, that's the best way to support the podcast. And next week will be a bye week for the podcast. So just like spend it with the people that you love. And it could be you like your self love, spend, like spend some time journaling, thinking about your intentions, digging into them a little bit deeper. So that can really just like launch off in the direction that like you're really like your soul craves, right, like that's the point of it. You can tap into that deep heart within you and then you can move in the direction that is like truly aligned with you like your highest self, not your patterns. But you and and I'm so excited to hear share with me your intention, DME, email me, I am here for it. And Merry Christmas, you guys enjoy the holidays, allow the pain to exist, allow the joy to exist. And just know that you have everything within you already, that you're already capable. You don't need to prove yourself to just move forward and like the most beautiful and abundant and magnificent way. And just like being in that energy state is just gonna launch you off and just like the magnitude of wherever you want to go. Okay, you guys, I won't see you next week. But I'll see you in two weeks. I love you sending so much love to you and your body. If you have made it to the end of this episode and you want more, more wellness tools, practices and insights from this episode and others, make sure to sign up for our email list. This is where we connect and support our body breaking free community. So if you're ready for the next step, the link to sign up will be in the show notes at Katie Kay graham.com forward slash newsletter