98. Uncover Your Unique Energy Type with Human Design / Nikki McFadden
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Nikki McFadden is a yoga teacher, self-seeker, and lover of energy awareness and its relationship to the material world. She found that Human Design explained what she had always intuitively known about herself, but had questioned and resisted due to the world's external conditioning. Understanding her own defined energies and where her conditioning lied was incredibly empowering for her and she found it impossible to not share this Human Design thing with others.
Her approach to Human Design is modern and conversational, with an emphasis on highlighting the distinctive strengths we all possess in a way that is easy to digest. Her goal is to empower YOU through this story of who you were so perfectly designed to be. I can't wait for you to listen to this episode with Nikki!
Discussion Topics:
-Intuition: How to listen to your intuitive voice.
-Human Design: how you are using your energy unwisely and is taking away from your authentic power
-Disconnection: Having that feeling you are fitting yourself as a round peg fitting into a square hole. How do you find your alignment?
-Validation: permission to step into your own authentic truth.
-Social Conditioning: How the shoulds, obligations and not functioning the same way as your partner is draining your energy.
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
feel, energy, human, chart, design, wired, people, alignment, learned, resonating, nikki, talking, give, sessions, body, sacral, initiate, spleen, empowering, generators
SPEAKERS
Nikki McFadden, Katie Kay Graham
Nikki McFadden 00:00
To just be more yourself and unwavering in that, and it's a it's definitely a journey. Because of how conditioned we all are, it takes a while to shed it takes seven years minimum to like shed all of that conditioning. And fully embody you know, and I see areas of my life now still where I like, keep myself a little small. And I'm like, I'm not quite ready to be there yet. But I at least see it, I see it and I'm not oblivious to it, which I'm grateful for because of human design.
Katie Kay Graham 00:56
As you guys know, body breaking free is all about coming into your own alignment coming into your own empowered state, and untangling all those things that aren't serving you so that you can be in this place of freedom and alignment and authenticity. And today's sponsors resonate with that message. So I'm really excited to share them with you. The first is pause, breath work. So on any part of your journey through breath work, if you're ready to explore this amazing tool, pause breathwork has many options. So the first one is the pause facilitator program. If you're ready to step into the role of facilitator, this is their six month expert level training. And you guys this is the training I went through, and I couldn't say enough about how amazing the program is. So if you're interested in stepping into the role of facilitator, you can click on the link in the show notes, check out their program, you can hop on a call with one of their team members to discuss the program. You also feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions via Instagram or email me at hello at Katie Kay graham.com. The next is pause breathwork app. So if you click on the link in the show notes, you get your first month completely free. And this app is awesome. They have so many different options, you can do a three minute breath where you can do a 20 minute breath work. And it's just a nice tool to have access to. So you can tap back into that aligned place at any moment in your day. So definitely get that first month free sign up and explore that app. It's super, it's awesome. You're gonna love it. Next, the pause breathwork six week online breathwork course is called the journey. I went through the journey. And it's this beautiful progression of learning about breathwork learning how it can be somatic healing. So click on that course if you are ready to dive into it and just kind of explore the six week process. Our next sponsor is element. It is an electro based hydration powder. So I really attached on to this company because this hydration pack it doesn't have a ton of sugar in it like a lot of them that we see out there. And this was actually elements mission to begin with is they wanted an option that didn't have a ton of sugar that had a really good blend of electrolytes. And it's really salt base. So it's really sodium based. And actually the owner Rob, when he was on this low carb diet, he was feeling really depleted and not having those carbohydrates. And then he realized he didn't need more sugar. He didn't have to eat more carbohydrates. What he really needed was more sodium. That's what he created and that was his purpose with element. These hydration powder packs are so awesome. So click on the link in the show notes. If you're looking for that little extra electrolyte boost in your day. When you use this link you will get a free bonus sample pack with your purchase when you purchase a 12 count variety pack 30 Count boxes or insider bundles. And this sample pack has all these different yummy flavors watermelon and raspberry and even chocolate so lots of like fun, different flavors to try out. So test it out and enjoy this electrolyte boost in your day. Okay, let's dive back into the episode. Hey you guys and welcome back Today we have Nikki McFadden and she is going to tell us all about human design. It is so good. I cannot wait to dive into this episode. However first before we get into the juiciness, I want to remind you sign up for the newsletter. I have some fun, announce a fun announcement coming up for our 100th episode, which is very soon. So make sure that you sign up on that newsletter. It's free. You'll get updates about the podcast and then those upcoming offerings and that special announcement. So make sure you sign up for that it is the link will be in the show notes but it is Katie Kay graham.com forward slash newsletter. Okay, so Nikki McFadden. She is a yoga teacher, self seeker and lover of energy awareness and its relationship to the material world. She found that human design explains what she has always intuitively known about herself, but had question and resisted due to the world's external conditioning, understanding her own defined energies and where her conditioning lied was incredibly empowering for her. And she found it impossible to not share this human design thing with others. Her approach to human design is modern and conversational with an emphasis on highlighting the distinctive strength we all possess in a way that is easy to digest. Her goal is to empower you through this story of who you were so perfectly designed to be. Okay, so this episode is all about self discovery and invitation to listen. And just be curious, see what Nikki has to say about her own moving through social conditioning and finding and empowering herself and see if some of the things she says resonates with you, the way that you operate the way that your energy is uniquely designed, whether you know, your human design chart or not. If you're new to human design, then this episode is perfect. I am really excited if this is your first opportunity to kind of dive into human design, because it is one of those tools that allows you to really uncover who you truly are. Right. And that's the freedom that's the freedom that we're craving to feel every day, your pain, the external world, the fears, the things and layers that we get wrapped up into. We solve it by going within we you solve it by going to that space within and processing into that alignment of untangling all those internal fears. So that we can find more authenticity so that we can find more flow so that we can just feel more like ourselves. And then the external world lines up to a place where it is meeting us. Right. I didn't say that very well, but it reflects back what we feel. So if we're feeling frazzled on the inside, if we're wrapped up in the fear as if we're just consumed in the drama, then our external world is going to reflect that right? The more that we decide to come to that place within and heal within the external world starts to just come into place. We change our relationship to our pain, we start to lift some of that heaviness within the body. We actually start discovering who you really want to be and the truth of how you want to live in the dreams and the possibilities and the potential within that. The uniqueness within that. And now is what human design so brilliantly offers is your unique energy type. And it is validating it gives us permission to feel more like ourselves. It's so cool. Okay, so let's like let's just get into it with Nikki She's amazing. You guys are gonna love love her to death. She's so cool. Oh, and before we dive in, I also want to say Nikki did offer the listeners a 25% off code for a one on one human design session which is huge. So if If this is resonating while she's talking, you're like, Oh, I kind of want to like dive into my own chart totally worth it. 100% use that code, it will be in the show notes. And follow that. If your intuition is raising that up, definitely follow that I have done a few one on ones with her. And I don't regret any of that money. It's just an exchange of energy. You want to uncover more of who you are code there for you if you're interested and invite in that curiosity of self discovery. Sit back and take a listen. Nikki, I am so thrilled to have you on body breaking free podcast today. Thank you for being here.
Nikki McFadden 10:44
Thank you. I'm excited to thank you for inviting me.
Katie Kay Graham 10:49
really been wanting to have this conversation for a long time. And I know we've been in the works of getting this together. And right now is the perfect alignment timing to have you on the podcast and dive into human design. There's so much we can gain from this tool. And personally, we've been working together we've had a few one on one appointments that have totally, I told you I was like life changing is the words that I would use. So I'm excited to share this with the listeners and dive in. So Nikki, let's learn a little bit about you to start tell us about you and your personal journey that led you into teaching Human Design.
Nikki McFadden 11:38
Prior to knowing anything about human design, I have been a yoga instructor for about seven years now. So I've always been really drawn to the energetics of what makes us human, like the unseen. And yoga kind of helped put some language around that. And then I got to a point where I just wanted more, as things usually do a human design that kind of fell into my lap. And it resonated. And before knowing anything about my own human design, like anything at all about how I meant to taking information or given information I knew to follow that inkling that what I was listening to was important for me. I kind of dove all in which later learned I learned in my chart. That is actually how I'm kind of how I'm wired. And it kind of jumped all in, as I do when I'm excited about most things. And it's just ever growing, because human design is so complex. So there's always more for me to learn. They say with human design, there's like a seven year deconditioning process. So there are always layers to explore. And Human Design personally for me, at first, it just resonated. And I didn't know why. And I thought it was cool. And I did like my whole family and all my close friends. I saw how true it was for the people that I knew and loved that were close to me that I knew really well. I'm like, Oh, wow, this really explains how they're wired. And it took me a while I wanted to like analyze everybody else. And then it took me a while to actually dive into my own chart, like probably a year was there for me when I was going through a really hard time. And it helped me navigate that hard time. Because I was able to come back to okay, what are the strings in my chart? What am I here to do? How am I designed to interact with other people? Because I was feeling like a lot of tension and depression and it helped. It helped me kind of get back to who I am. It was just a reminder of what exactly to come back to in a time where I was like really confused. I was like, Oh, yes, there's this human design system I can come back to. Yeah, yeah,
Katie Kay Graham 13:53
yeah, I would almost highlight that thing of coming back to who I am. That's how I felt human design really integrated for me was this. It gave me almost permission to just be myself. Like it was so glaring to me it was just so spot on. It was like oh my gosh, this is so me to a tee and it allowed me the space to integrate into that authenticity. I've never had anything where it just was so like in your face like this is who you are. This is how you function really found such huge alignment within myself. And I think that permission word comes in just more on a daily basis like permission to function how my chart was showing me how I function. So like how does my intuition show up in my body and how am I influence Stand. What am I looking towards? Like, I want to feel peace? How does that like anger kind of counteract that? So these are kind of tidbits from my own chart. But if we had to simplify it Nicki to somebody to a listener that's new to human design, how would you simplify what human design is?
Nikki McFadden 15:23
It's a system based on your natal chart information that helps an individual, this is what it did for me anyway, it helps an individual, see how they're naturally wired, where their gifts lie, it also shows you where your conditioning might be extra heavy, and where you might identify with that conditioning as who you are. And then it gives you based on your type, there's five types, it gives you a strategy to interact with the outside world, like how your energy basically explains your energy. And then it tells you how you're meant to share your energy with other people other energies, other auras to be best well received and to share your gifts with the right people at the right time in the right place. And then it gives you what's called an authority in human design, which is your inner voice or your intuition. And those aren't type specific. There's a few in everybody, everybody's a little different. But that's the voice that is in you when you're making decisions that you're according to human design meant to listen to. So no one's authority, intuitive voice lives in their mind. And that's something that a lot of people struggle with is when they have a decision to make they make pros and cons list. And they do things because they should or out of obligation and human design just kind of points to a different way to make decisions. Yeah, in a nutshell, I think it really helps people get in touch with how they're wired all the time, like these are the things you can come back to and rely on. This is what's not you. And here's how you can exchange your energy with other people and not meet so much resistance. And also, here's a voice to listen to when you're trying to make like a tough decision. Or even a small one.
Katie Kay Graham 17:10
Yeah, it's like this like guide book almost. Yeah. And like a big reason I wanted to you have have you on the podcast and talk about human design is people hear these different wellness modalities and tools and might not necessarily be like, Oh, that's for me, right? Or there might be a block of like, oh, I don't believe in that stuff for human design. And I want to just offer this idea of letting wellness be the space of curiosity. I like discovery and like, bring the passion back into it. You have, I mean, all of our listeners have the courage to go on a healing path because they want to break through some of these patterns. And they want to feel better in their body. And they want to find that alignment. And it's let's bring in some of these modalities that you might not know too much about or your ego might be a little resistant to bringing in and be like, there's so much curiosity and so much self discovery in this that it gets to be like this. Cool, like exciting, right? Almost. And Human Design, whether you believe in it or not. It opens you up whether or not you're what is on the page is really resonating right away. Like it starts opening up this idea of like uncovering some parts of yourself that you're like, Oh, am I that way? Or like, Am I this way? And it's really cool, because it really is this huge self discovery piece. I don't see how anybody couldn't get some authentic alignment out of it. Yeah, so that was like one thing I really just love about human design.
Nikki McFadden 18:58
I love that. And the so the founder of human design row row who basically said Don't take my word for it treat this because this information was the system came from a day trip, where the rah rah who kind of had these divine downloads for eight straight days.
Katie Kay Graham 19:17
Yeah, and I heard you say that, and he wasn't on like a
Nikki McFadden 19:21
medicine or anything. No, it was like completely sober, sober. And that that story might sound a little woowoo however, there was also like an astrological event that took place at the same time in 1987. And he was in Ibiza believe when the event happened, and it it was an asteroid or something hit the planet close to Ibiza. And for a certain period of time, everybody received like a heavy amount more neutrinos from the sun than we normally get. And that actually happen, but skip ahead when piecing the information together. There's a lot of like quantum physics that plays into human design. So there is there's act Actually, if you study human design there is like a correlation with DNA and all these very like quantum physics based subject matter. And it's really cool if you want to geek out on that side of it. And then it also incorporates Western astrology, the ancient Chinese eaching, the Kabbalah, the seven Hindu Brahmin chakra system, it's, it was built on that and then kind of evolved. And Kabbalistic tree of life if I didn't say that, like how everything kind of plugs in kind of like our, our electricity, like what all is kind of like connected, energetically. But he always said to treat it like an experiment. He was an atheist before this happen, probably died an atheist, he was like, this is just information I was given. And then years later, there was some stuff that came out after the fact that kind of backed up the whole, that we are made up of neutrinos and all of that, like science, kind of caught up years later with what he had said all along, like, through just channeled information. So that story is pretty interesting. He was a very fascinating person, but he video he he was very, like a straight shooter. And he's like, I am not telling you to believe me, this is not a system to believe, try it on, if you want. If you don't, I don't give a shit. Like he was. He was a manifester, like you so he was like, take it or leave it, I don't really care. Just leave me alone. If you're not interested, he said, If you can just simply follow strategy and authority, like learn your chart, follow those two things, play around with them even it's just something to notice. How am I interacting with other people? And is that what human design says? Is my strategy for interacting with the world and my feeling a lot of resistance when I'm react, interacting with other people and just treat it like one big experiment? Like you said, like get curious. But human design really, I heard about it on a pilot podcast where I heard Jenna Zoe talking about it. She simplified the system. And she delivered the information in a way that kind of like met me right where I was. And then years later, I realized like how complex it actually is. But I needed to hear it in simple terms when I first learned about it for it to resonate with me. And then the science was really interesting to me afterwards. I was like, and then I got more complex with my own chart. Yeah, yeah, just have fun with it. I agree with you. I try to not even take my own. But I do notice when I'm not following strategy and authority, every single time I shoot myself in the foot when I kind of inner interact with other people in a way that is not correct. For me as an individual. It just creates a lot of tension.
Katie Kay Graham 22:51
Yeah. Yeah. And I want to dive into your integration with it. Because when people can look online, like what human design the different, what do you call it? Charts? What are the types? I've typed five types? Yeah. So they can look all that stuff up. But what I want to talk about Nikki is your own integration with human design, and how you have personally moved through some of these patterns, some of these social conditioning, to allow you to break free and to your own truth into your own authenticity. So tell us like, what were some of those conditioning patterns that you notice that you had to kind of sludge through and like break through and move through. And on the other side, living more truthful, and more in alignment and more empowered?
Nikki McFadden 23:56
Well, so many, I guess I'll I'll explain I am a one three is my profile. If you look up, you can look up your profile, there's 12 of those. I'm a manifesting generator, that's my type there. That's one of the five types. I'm what's called a single definition, which means everything's wired with no breaks, I would say, which means I can arrive at clarity pretty fast. And by myself, I don't really need other people to arrive at clarity. And I'm sacral authority, so I've got authority. And then another aspect of my chart that at first kind of jumped out at me was my spleen. I have all of my channels come out of my spleen, and I have all but one of the energies defined which means that I have those energies consistently in me all the time. So the spleen in human design is kind of like a fear and intuition center. It's a highly intuitive center that only exists in the now and it's not a big loud voice. Ace, it's a quiet voice. But the spleen talks to you one time doesn't make any logical sense, doesn't come back. And so if you're if you don't have practices, where you allow yourself to get quiet, you know, you can take a walk, whatever that looks like for you to where you feel kind of connected with yourself, and you're able to kind of go inward. And most people bypass that voice, because it's not logical, and you play it off, and then maybe later learned that there was a reason. And then you're like, Oh, I knew I should have made that call. So I think a lot of people can relate to that, even if they're not slick authority, not following that small, nonsensical voice. And in some people's charts, it's a more prominent center than others, because some people have it open, which means they don't have that voice consistently in them, it's going to come and go. For me, it's a heavy player in my chart, being so closely related to my gut and having all of my channels coming out of it. I've always thought of myself as intuitive, but that part got super buried. Yeah, super buried. And when I first started learning about human design, the first thing that I noticed was my guilt and shame around starting and stopping jobs. And if you think about inhuman design, you you have a sacral center, whether you have it open or defined, you know, depends on your chart. But the sacral is responsible for gut instincts. It's our it's our passion center, it's creative, it's like a big gas tank. So if you have it defined or colored in, in your chart, it's it's a heavy player in your chart, it's what makes you a high energy being. So if you have this colored in your high energy being, you're creating energy, and then it's spilling out on to other people, and other people need you to be connected and putting your energy into the right people places things so that they can then siphon off. Or to basically like vampires to do what they need to do, like are non energy types. So I learned that that I have this big gas tank, and that not only do I have the big gas tank, but that I'm kind of wired to stop and start things based on gut response inside of me that my sacral is basically saying, You've had enough of this, it's time to end it. And manifesting generators tend to have a very nonlinear path. And we stop and start a lot of things. And hearing that and kind of like looking at my guilt, my shame around not being able to stick with one thing, especially jobs that were like, one thing that required all, a lot of my time, even if the schedule wasn't super structured, it required a lot of me. And then I didn't feel freedom or permission, or I did, I just didn't have the energy to put into anything else. I have found since then that if I'm really listening to my gut, I want to do a lot of things, usually all at once. So I have a lot of interest. I teach yoga, I'm a photographer, I love human design. I do sound that's probably the newest healing modality. But what I learned was those things that light me up, I usually stick with them for a long period of time. It's just that I have freedom and flexibility within these things to kind of pull my energy back when I need to. And then when I'm feeling when I get like this flood of creative energy to put into one of the avenues I can do that. So basically, I just realized that the reason I have stopped and started so many things, and they had it worked out was that I was I was saying yes to those things for the wrong reason. So as soon as I said yes to something, it was almost like my energy was kind of locked into it. If I jumped the gun and said yes, based on like a should like I should do this the money's Right. Or the schedule. Part of it is right, when really the job itself wasn't anything I was my sacral was super excited about. That is the biggest thing that stuck out to me at first and then layers, personal relationships, friendships, like those sorts of things. Started to also come into my awareness of human design. I'm not wired according to human design to have like, hard and fast opinions about things that I don't really care about. And I'm literally wired to be open minded so that that was validating because I for the first time was like, Oh, this is why I don't like picking sides. This is why I have the ability to kind of feel out both ends of the spectrum and kind of be in the middle and I don't need to feel bad about that. That's how I'm literally how I'm wired. Yeah, I'm very inconsistent in The way that I think, yeah, another, there's so many layers, there's so many things, really I just at first, I used human design to look at my strengths, I think because of where I was at that is kind of what I needed, I needed to feel empowered. Because I was very confused. I knew what kind of I wanted to do, but I wasn't connected with the business that I was working for, you know, I just felt like kind of like Goldilocks, like, I'm not really sure my place in the world. And what I learned about myself to where the blocks lie, and the conditioning lies in your open centers in your chart, so I started looking at my open centers, I have a G center of a wide open G Center, which sounds sexual, but it's not. Your G center is kind of like your sense of identity purpose, direction lovability. So it's like, it's that thing only inside your you could call it spirit, like, what am I doing with this life? Like, where am I going, you have a sense of who you are sort of deep on the inside. And it takes a while sometimes for the external to kind of line up to what matches the inside. And what I learned about my my G center being wide open basically means that I'm never going to fully know who I am, where I'm going, who how lovable I am. But I'm always going to be searching for those things. So I just kind of took the pressure off of myself to have a definitive, this is the thing I'm gonna do. And because the open G center really just needs to feel it needs to be in an environment to see if the environment is right for it. And if it's the right environment, then that's where I will meet the right people. And then those people will take me to the right opportunities. So open G center, very sensitive to environment. And I kept trying to it's like putting like a square peg in a round hole. I kept trying to make environments and situations and people work that just worked for me.
Katie Kay Graham 32:01
Totally, oh my gosh, it's so good. Nikki, all of you your examples. I'm hoping that the listeners like this is just opening up the space to be curious. Well, like is that kind of like what I what my chart would look like? What kind of centers would be open in my chart. And again, I just keep coming back to this like opening into the curiosity. And some words that stuck out when you were talking as this like validation. So you said that I love that like validating who you are, how you function, how your energy flows. Again, the more that we can come into a place of alignment, the easier it is to flow through life in our own purpose and in our own way. And that's what I feel like is true freedom is Gosh, it just like, feels so good to just feel and live like yourself. When you were talking and giving some of these examples. I was thinking about energy and somebody might have like a generator energy, but maybe their energy is getting depleted from other sources. So they might not feel like a generator. How are we supposed to know how to use our energies in the most efficient way? How would somebody kind of know what their type is until they really kind of dive into their own chart and see the ways that they can regain their power back and then kind of step into the role of who who there truly are?
Nikki McFadden 33:41
Yeah, yeah, there's nothing more rewarding than doing sessions with generators, specifically, because there's so many of them, they're like set, we're well between manifesting generators and pure generators. They're 70% of the population. So most people are wired to be these like high energy beings, and then you do sessions with people. And they don't feel like high energy beings, but then I start asking them about their environment, their work life, their relationships, their schedule, and they feel like they're not choosing any of those things. And I think that's what creates the disconnect between that self that that it's like there that self is there just gets buried and covered up and like you said, we do things out of obligation. And so and especially generators, because generators tend to be people pleasers, and they do things because they're rewarded for it early on, and they have the energy to do it and they like to do something that was my problem. I just spent my time doing because I had this energy and I needed to do and it felt good to at least do something but then there was something on the inside that was very, very, very unhappy with the way in which I was giving my energy to the world, it wasn't rewarding. Generators are really here to like build and create something, I didn't feel like I was creating anything. And it felt like there was reciprocity, which is also in my chart. With the ego center, I didn't feel like there was a fair exchange of, you know, finances for my time, you know, if you're choosing to put your, your energy into something, and you don't feel like there's a reciprocal aspect to it, at least in some people's charts. That's a big deal. Because it's closely tied to like our individual purpose.
Katie Kay Graham 35:35
There's just so much right, like, there's just so many different you talk to me about this, like, there's just so many different combinations. Yeah,
Nikki McFadden 35:43
that was I mean, there are 1000s, we have like the meat, which is what you'll see on social media, you'll see a lot about like type and kind of the popular Human Design conversation. Right now. It's all centered around your type, your profile, and kind of these bigger aspects, which I think are actually the most important parts of your chart. But then it's been some of the subtleties in the chart that have really connected dots for people. So and myself included human design, there's a book on human design. And literally, it's called The Science of differentiation. So it's the science of what makes us all so different. And there are 1000s and 1000s of different chart combinations. And subtleties to the charts. So can be reasons as to why one generator, if I'm looking at two generator charts, and one doesn't feel as energetic, there are usually things in the chart that will explain that. But then also we can look at how are you making choices for yourself? Are you following your strategy and authority because if you're not, then those are surefire ways to like deplete your energy. And it's all about energy, your your aura, what your your like natural EMF and knowing that that aura is projecting out a signal and people are reading it, and then you're taking in everyone else's energy. And we're all so different. So what I love about it is you learn about your chart, and the first thing everybody wants to do is go do their like spouse or their partner or their boss or their kids. Like the beauty in that is you start to see differences. Because typically opposites in human design, a lot of times attract because we're you're open the white and you're the white part of your chart. You are, you don't have consistency there. But you are here to kind of learn about those energies. So whether you're conscious of it or not, you're putting out a signal that's attracting people that have those parts of their chart defined. So usually two people, well, we'll have very different charts, if they're in like a long term relationship or in it's just the way it is because we're attracted to what we're not and what we don't have, because we want to learn and grow. And then if your chart is more similar to someone else's chart, there's like a compatibility element where there's like just a natural friendship or compatibility because you just get each other. And it's just easy. And we need those people too. I think for people to see that their loved ones are wired totally different from them. And to have some understanding, whether it's looking on the internet, into type and authority and profile or you know, having a reading for yourself and like your partner. It's a good way to see that you're wired one way you're open in certain centers, which is why you might be sensitive to some of the elements in their chart, because you're open there. For me personally, what it did was it, it not only gave me permission to like be an energizer bunny that kind of makes decisions from this really fast body response place. Because I'll usually get clarity pretty fast. When I get confused is when people start asking me questions like, Are you sure? You know? Or they asked me to explain myself because like, you can't explain a gut response. It's a body response, just like you can't explain the spleen. If you can explain it Jenna, Zoe always says if you can explain it, it's probably not your intuition. If it can be like logic, I learned that about myself. And I was always told like, I'm impulsive, like, not impulsive in this super negative way, but just that I don't take my time before committing my energy into something. Once I started seeing it as a strength. I'm like, Oh, I'm just using it in the wrong way. But then I saw that, that, you know, the people that I live with, were wired very differently than me. They needed more time. There. They're not wired to be impulsive. They don't have gut. They don't have their guts defined. So they don't know what it's like to just know instantaneously. Like, I'll just know. Yeah, I'll know and it takes real time like the material world a second to catch up. I have to be in response. I can't just make something happen, but I'll get that clarity on the inside long before that. And that's hard. But it taught me that, oh, when you're making, like a co decision with someone, because you can't control other people, and they're wired, the way they're wired, you start to honor their process, their authority, whether they know that about this stuff or not. Yeah, like, it has helped me without people really giving a crap about any of this stuff, it's really helped me. And then I can, I can see, even if I like react in the moment, I can afterwards go, okay, like I haven't, I have an open emotional center, I take in other people's emotions, and I'm sensitive to the environment. And then I take on those emotions as though they're mine. And they're not. And I started to notice that if I would just get alone and kind of shed literally shut other people's energy that I felt more connected to my intuition and clear and not emotional. Whereas some people are wired to their emotional mechanically, and they are kind of wired to feel the highs and lows of their emotions and take their time and say, let me sleep on it. You know, or let me I don't know, I'll tell you when I'm ready to to. Whereas I'm like, I've got the answer right. Now. Let's go. So, yeah, I just helped me to, like, honor myself. And then also, it gave me more compassion for other people and how they're naturally wired. Yeah, yeah,
Katie Kay Graham 41:31
that's a huge part that I realized is how we are all so different. We're not always going to be doing the same or feeling the same as our partner. And I'm not sure if it's women, like I feel like women are more sensitive to me, but I could be by gender bias and right now, but feeling like we should be acting a certain way, or we should be matching our partner's energy or responsibilities, or, you know, it's like, the list goes on and on. And like you said, it's like, our energies fit in this very dynamic, beautiful way if we can let it be that way. And the more that each of us give ourselves permission to be in our own alignment, and our own truth within our energy, that healing also gives healing out into our relationships and allowing other people to be their own authentic self, and not in like a forceful or angry way. Not like, this is me. And this is how I act. Because I kind of feel like that, it can turn into that when we aren't honoring ourselves and like a true authentic alignment. Like when we're doing that. It's just easy. It's simple. It's like, Hey, this is who I am. And you just show up in that clarity. And the energy is so clean that it's like, it's like, yummy. It's like inviting, it's like, oh, okay, he's been like herself. And you can tell it's not from like a forceful pushing kind of way. Which I kind of feel like we can be in, when we're like, other people are pushing our buttons. And we're like, no, like, I can't act like that. And I'm not like that. I don't know why I'm sure there's something wrong with me. But like, let me just be angry about it. Right? Yeah. Um, and I wanted to say just a few things about my own chart to give the listeners also just permission to get curious. And maybe validate some of the things that they feel. So same with me, Nikki has this energy, it's not consistent. It's very start stop for me as well. And once I learned that, I need to have that time to rest and let the creative juices like build back up totally. And so me just constantly trying to do and work and try and live, like keep going and this consistent basis, which, by the way is so my husband like he has just nonstop energy. And it's so cool to see. But I've tried to fit that way for so long. So give myself permission to relax, spend a few hours a day if needed or more, to be in a place of stillness and not doing and not trying. And it's way more efficient. And that way. When I do get that urge to use my energy, it's like, yeah, power. It's like and then it's like, bam, bam, bam, it's done. It's not this like trying and figuring it out and sitting on my computer for hours and hours and hours. Just wasting time. Yeah. So that was huge for me, honoring the stillness. And then you said like going inward giving yourself that space to go in. worried, especially to emotionally let go of some of the things that you've held on to other people? Oh my gosh, I hold on. I've realized like that open emotional channel within me, like, I take on other people's emotions, and they're not even mine to hold on to. It's like, oh my God, I've been holding on to all of this gunk, really not mine. So that was a huge thing for me. Yeah, that's huge. Yeah. And, and following that voice inside. Like, I think that's been a theme in our conversation, that intuition, and how does that show up for each of us uniquely, and for me, like we've talked a little bit is spleen x. So it's very instantaneous. It's very in the present moment. It's like in my body, it's like right now. And if I sometimes try to make sense of it, or like, consciously, like explain it to somebody, it just sounds like stupid, or does it make sense, right? Don't have words. I'm like, well, it's just a no. So I'm not really sure. How are you? Yeah, like put your yet right. But trusting in that? Yeah, it's a no. And I, I'm sorry, I can't give you an explanation. But it's just like that to know in my body once you're so clear, and that energy is so clear. It's like it's not messy. It's just like, Yeah, okay. Maybe it could be a yes, in the future. But who knows? Right? Right. So So that's cool. Like being more like giving myself permission to be like, very present. I'm a present now being. And the more I try and like analyze and figure out and trying to create reasons like the more I'm wasting my energy, so let's not deplete my energy by just like going in that direction.
Nikki McFadden 46:39
Yeah, it's all about energy conservation and, and spending your energy on the right people, places things. It's really cool to see people kind of tap into that, like inner, inner self and or L light, self alignment, whatever your verbiage is for it, and be empowered to listen to that voice over the world's conditioning voice that tells you what you should or shouldn't do and how to do it.
Katie Kay Graham 47:04
Yeah, it's like what you said earlier, we all can resonate with that feeling of trying to fit a round peg in a square hole. Yeah, or vice versa. Right. That feeling we I think we all kind of feel that, to some degree. It's like something. There's a disconnect. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, there's something here that's trying to fit and I this is not right. Right. And it's that it's that social conditioning, and we're not able to shine a light on it. Because we're this is just the way that we've known and everybody else is kind of no known. And we feel trapped
Nikki McFadden 47:38
most of the time and that whole cycle. Yeah, yeah,
Katie Kay Graham 47:43
totally. And for me, like Nikki mentioned, it's like anger, like I have all this suppressed anger in my body. And I've realized a lot of my physical pain has been created from that anger. And a lot of my healing is shifting from a not self life into a self led life and realizing the blames not on other people, like you said, You corrected yourself when you said, you know, other people have and then you were like, wait, you have allowed other you
Nikki McFadden 48:13
have a lot of other people, I've never glass have that autonomy to make a different choice. And if you're feeling anger, or if you're looking at your own chart, look at your not self theme. So it'll either be frustration, bitterness, disappointment, or anger. Look at where not what did the world do to me, that created this situation of a this feeling of anger, frustration, but where along the way, did I commit my energy to something or not where I not shouldn't have, but that wasn't correct for me, somewhere along the way up until this feeling of anger that you're experiencing? You said yes to something that was not correct for you, or you said no to something that you could have said yes to. And you know, immediately in your body when you when you think about it, and in that way, when you take the blame off of the person or the situation. You're like, Okay, what did I do here? How did I get myself here, and it's empowering, because that means you can get yourself out of it. It may be not instantaneously, if you locked your energy into something that is going to take a minute to get out of but, but it's empowering. So when you're like in the future, you you now know that you you have choice.
Katie Kay Graham 49:32
So empowering. It's so cool to finally feel that and when I said like it gave me my life back. That's what I mean. It's like, oh my gosh, like I feel so much more authority over my own being and there's so much empowerment in that and I want other people to feel that like I want them to step into their own empowerment. So that it, life can flow easier so that they can feel that freedom, like, power doesn't have to be like strength, right? It can be freedom, it can be peace, it can be love, it can be like, opening like this, like beautiful opening. And that's what human design feels like for me is is such a untangling of the messiness that I've held on to that I just wasn't aware of like, yeah, right, and then an opening into my own power. Who doesn't want that,
Nikki McFadden 50:36
right? I love how you said, it's not always like this, stepping into your power like this, like masculine energy, because, honestly, for me, it was embracing that part of me. But it was also looking at my strategy, which is to be in response not to initiate push force be masculine, but actually to be more in response, which is waiting, you know, letting something or someone else initiate and then allowing my sacral to them respond to it. Which is feels to me a little bit more feminine and softer. things unfold with ease that way, it doesn't mean that it's not uncomfortable in the process of unfolding, because I have a human and I have these, like I said, I have a defined ego center, and I have all these desires, and I have this creative energy. And I want things to happen now, because that's how I'm wired. But I've noticed that when I do wait, and then when the opportunity comes, which it always will, there will be an opportunity for something or someone to come along your path that then will give you the opportunity to express whatever your whatever your gut has already said yes or no to like or said yes to most of the time. But a lot of times, people generators, I'll say generators have a tendency of being told they should just go make it happen. Like, and they wonder why things don't go well. When they do that when they initiate in force. And either their relationships aren't working out or they're not getting the jobs or, you know, the the details of whatever they're trying to go after just everything feels hard. And not that things will never feel uncomfortable or hard when you're following your strategy and authority. But there will be a deep knowing that like you're you're doing this the right way for yourself. There's like a deep knowing that this is discomfort for a reason. And that things are delayed to your benefit. A lot of times, like timing is so important, because we're all playing this like energetic game together. And so we're all like pieces of this big puzzle. And so sometimes you have to wait for the alignment of all the pieces to come in. You know, and I think for every type except for the manifester, because a manifester gets to just like pull the trigger and go. But for all of the other types who have to wait in some capacity. That's important to know that this waiting is for you and things. Things aren't working out if you're trying to force them for reason. Like it's not the right time. Yeah, yeah.
Katie Kay Graham 53:20
Strength can be in softening, like in the almost like the letting go and allowing time to unfold for what is of the highest good, right? So it's like, I mean, just an example like this interview. I'm an initiator and Nikki is the responder, right. And I knew this and I wanted to feel empowered in this dynamic because we had been working together and so I knew she knew that I was in theater, and I knew that she was gonna respond when I was ready. And I really believe like, I just waited until my instinct was like, now's the right time, like episode 98 is the right time. And I really feel like it it is of the highest good because I've reached a place in the podcast, where I'm talking about more alignment and authenticity, I'm opening up to more lightness and source energy and so right now was the highest good for everybody. And so both in our own strengths, we were able to stand in our own empowered place to be like I'm gonna respond when you're ready and I'm an initiate.
Nikki McFadden 54:40
Cuz that is tight bulk. You know, like, when are we doing that podcast?
Katie Kay Graham 54:44
Katie? Kay, yeah, exactly. And there's beauty in that right and there's beauty in the collective like acknowledging there is a highest good and acknowledging that timing. It almost like I'm unfolds on its own terms, there's really not a like a force that needs to happen within that and like we talked about manifesting I mean, it is this like receiving to the universe. It's like receiving that energy and this like attraction so and then that there's really a flow, there's no like force, like you wouldn't talk about manifesting Is this, like, forceful? Like getting shit done? Like, it's the opposite of that. So totally, how do we, like the more each of us are in our own authentic, authentic power, the, again, the collective energy benefits like that, I and I brought this up in the last episode with Corey but and Sergeant, spiritual goddess, she brought up this during a full moon ceremony, it's like, when I heal, you heal. And when you heal, we all heal. And that is integrated so beautifully in the conversation of human design. It's like this highest good.
Nikki McFadden 56:08
Yeah, and even knowing that information is, you know, it's easier said than done when they're, you know, when you have people around you, and you maybe have something that you think would help them and you just want to share, like, I'm bad about just initiating sometimes, with my loved ones with like, close people close to me. Because you just, you just want to help but the best thing we can all do is, like you said, Let everybody stay in their own lane. And you can plant seeds, you can put it you can be a you know, me I can be in response, when you feel an urge, you can initiate, but neither one of those paths are through force, the forcing for you would be trying to initiate when you don't feel an urge, the forcing for me would be initiating period, like I'm just not wired to do it, even though I feel the urge to do it all the time, because I have my throat defined to a motor. So it's kind of hard for me to because I feel this body excitement. Or, you know, sometimes it's emotion from other people. And I feel like I just need to process it through. I think the cool thing too, with human design is it with other modalities, but for me, I feel less regret, when, since I've found human design and have actively practice it in certain areas of my life. I don't have regret now with certain things, because being aware now, because I made those choices out of pure alignment. And I'm like, well, even if somebody got hurt in the process, I know I couldn't have handled that situation any differently. Because my body was telling me, and I didn't ignore it, I listened to it. So I I know it had to go down that way. So this is feeling of you have your signature and human design, which is kind of the counter to your not self. So for you, Katie, it's piece for me as a generator type. I'm a manifesting generator, it's the same for both its satisfaction. So I have this feeling of, nope, I put my energy into the right people in places for me at that time. And that's all I can do. And you know, I just have to let go of past choices where I wasn't so aware of that. And I was living out of my integrity with myself. And once you get your integrity back with yourself, that's true, true alignment, because you you then will never make a choice that let yourself down. It's just too, you used a word earlier, it's too loud. You almost can't even live with yourself when you veer from making choices from that place anymore. Like so you hurt less people. And human design. They say that what and I've seen this in practice too for myself that when you make a choice for yourself that's really aligned, even when you make it having feelings that maybe other people are going to be let down or disappointed if it means pulling your energy out of something. And you're really nervous. You're like, I don't want to look I still don't I still like these people. I just don't want my energy to go here anymore. It's not I'm done with it. My body's telling me my authority has told me I'm done. But you can make that choice confident that you're not letting yourself down. It's the right decision for yourself. Yeah, it's I think my favorite thing about the human design system is how it kind of shows that we can all be different and get along. And that's not something in the world that we live in. That's like there's just so much polarity, and so much division and sides and that really never really resonated with me Even though like I'll, you know, I'll I'll resonate with like some things more than others, but I always see that people have their reasons for feeling the way they they they do and their beliefs and also love that this system is not a belief system, it's not a religion, it doesn't counter any religious beliefs. It's not something to believe it's something to just experiment with play with practice it, see if you find more flow and more ease. And if you can feel at your core that this is working for you, or if it's just bullshit that's like, but I will tell you even people that aren't interested in human design, if I know their chart and share something with them there, there's never been like a I'm not like that. There's always like a Yeah, that's that's me. That's how I am. So and even more so with the people that sign up to do sessions, because I feel like people that are looking into this information on their own are seeking something they're seeking more, more knowledge, not like you don't already know yourself, we all know ourselves. But there there are certain pathways that offer language that just resonates and explains it with words. And you're like, oh, yeah, just light bulb, and like you said, it's empowering and gives you permission to just be more yourself and unwavering in that. And it's, it's definitely a journey. Because of how conditioned we all are, it takes a while to shed it takes seven years minimum to like, shed all of that conditioning. And fully embody, you know, and I see areas of my life now still where I like, keep myself a little small. And I'm like, I'm not quite ready to be there yet. But I at least see it, I see it, and I'm not oblivious to it, which I'm grateful for. Because of human design. Yeah,
Katie Kay Graham 1:01:55
yeah. And it's like this path of unfolding and to the consciousness of your own awareness. It's like, it's gonna be like moving through. And luckily, each step on that path feels so good. Like, it feels so good to start feeling more like yourself, start living more like yourself. So tell us, Nikki about your offerings, you do the one on one appointments, which I've had the pleasure and opportunity to be in that space, but tell us what you offer
Nikki McFadden 1:02:27
all the things. So I love to do one on one sessions. And those can be in person, if you're local, or over zoom or platform of your preference, I do a lot of zoom sessions. Typically sessions run about an hour, you can obviously do longer, you can do multiple sessions, which we have. And I feel like a lot of people would benefit from multiple sessions. Just spaced out, you don't want to do and back to back, you want time. And I wouldn't even make the second appointment right away, I would just give yourself lots of time to integrate the information that's talked about in the first session, practice, experiment with it, and then you can start layering on these other aspects of your chart like that exists, we can highlight those. I love workshops, I've done a few, a few. I've done a ton of those. I love those. Sometimes I'll do just like a three hour workshop. I've done a one hour that's really hard to condense it down. Like in a retreat setting. I've done more training for education focus, like okay, let's learn about how to read a chart. I love those. So sir, anywhere from five to 10 hours depending on like what we're dissecting in the in human within the human design system. I do have a website which I can share with you. It's the collide.com Spelt like the beginning of kaleidoscope. It's not the easiest word to spell. So
Katie Kay Graham 1:04:02
yeah, that in the show notes and then you're offering a special code to the listeners. So tell us what the offer is.
Nikki McFadden 1:04:09
So if you go to the collide.com two things first, you can just run your report free of charge or your chart, it's not going to give you any meat but it will tell you your type your profile. I think it even tells you your digestion and all those things but then you would have to either book a session to kind of dissect it or or go down the rabbit hole online, which you can certainly do. But you can do that for free through my site. And then you can also book a session through my website and enter the promo code code BBF Yep, all caps 25 And that'll give you $25 off. Yeah, that's
Katie Kay Graham 1:04:50
sweet
Nikki McFadden 1:04:51
that supersedes Yeah,
Katie Kay Graham 1:04:52
I'm personally and if if this is resonating, I would like I will If you were here, I would take you I'd shake you around, because I feel like this is so good if it's feeling good, right? If it's resonating with you, like, that's your intuition, and I just like, I love this, Nikki. And I've like, I knew nothing about human design. And then obviously with the podcast talking about people, like I've learned, and it's integrated, like, it's been so powerful for me. So I just recommend it to any listeners. That's it's feeling like it's resonating. And before I let you go, I always love to ask each guest what their own daily wellness routine is just to give us some inspiration. So I'm not going to let you leave and tell the answer that what is your daily wellness routine?
Nikki McFadden 1:05:45
Um, so let's see, okay, let me simplify this. I'm really into circadian biology and really following circadian rhythms. So I wake up with the sun, I go outside, rain shine snow, now that it's a little warmer out, I take my shoes off and like stand on Earth and literally just just stare at the sun or in the general direction of the sun as it rises. So that's, that is a daily routine thing that I implemented a couple of months ago and it just has changed my whole outlook and my energy levels and how I'm sleeping and but I do that I spend as much time is I can't outside. Now in the sunshine now that we have it, but even when it was cold, I would do the same thing. And take lots of hot yoga I love I love hot yoga. I love Walks I go on a lot of walks with my dog. Everything in moderation, but I do do those things every day. I don't do I don't do yoga every day. But I do it pretty frequently. I teach it PC yoga collective. So that is something that I love and keeps me lubricated and mobile and healthy and DITA I always feel just wrung out like a rag after I practice hot yoga. So especially in that space, and I try to eat with the sun. I try to be done eating before sunset doesn't always happen. And then I'm usually in bed by nine or 10 I'm pretty boring.
Katie Kay Graham 1:07:28
Me do. Yeah, I'm in bed by like a good 830 Yeah, I can we can work
Nikki McFadden 1:07:35
together. Yeah, I'm the odd man out at my house. Yeah, everybody else. Kind of natural, like a night night out. But it makes me so happy. It makes me just I just felt really connected to being a mammal. And being a part of this earth and like how because we're not living really how we did early on but it gives me kind of this like reconnection to being an animal and how we're really meant to live before we, with our evolved minds kind of messed it all up. But, so I love it. Yeah,
Katie Kay Graham 1:08:12
I love that. Thank you. Yeah, everybody's response to that question is so unique and different. And just, I land makes me so happy. Yeah, I mean, we're all unique. Back to that human design. Come
Nikki McFadden 1:08:27
on. Everybody has a I don't meditate hours on it. And I like to walk a very informal walking meditation, but I'm not. I'm not meditating while I'm walking. But that that's how I feel. Yeah, everybody is so different. Yeah.
Katie Kay Graham 1:08:44
Well, thank you so much, Nikki for being here. This conversation was so fun. Yeah. Thanks for having me. It was fine. So made it easy. Alright, listeners, thank you so much for being here. I will see you all next episode. If you have made it to the end of this episode, and you want more, more wellness tools, practices and insights from this episode and others, make sure to sign up for our email list. This is where we connect and support our body breaking free community. So if you're ready for the next step, the link to sign up will be in the show notes at Katie Kay graham.com forward slash newsletter.
