33. Unlock the Potential of your Intentions by Clearing the Space

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Let's talk more on the potential of your Intentions! Let's really start to clear the space through the process of undoing, so that you can uplift the full potential of your desires.
Today's episode we focus on letting go of the limits that are holding us back. The deeper fears, pain, wounds - showing up as pressure, expectations, judgements, disconnection from your self and body. We need to clear the space so that you can add newness into your life. At the end we talk about the journaling exercise "AND" which will open up more space for acceptance and surrender. Let's get it!

Hi guys, welcome back to body breaking free podcast. I am your host, Katie Kay. And I'm excited about today's episode, the intention episode we did last time on the solo show did really well. And so I just want to add on to that energy, get into it a little bit more and then talk mainly on the undoing part, the unbecoming and letting go. Because we don't really talk about that part, when we're talking about intention setting or health goals or, you know, something new into our life, we kind of focus more on. Alright, now what are we going to do, and let's get there and let's, you know, get the positive energy and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But there is this kind of like process of undoing that we really need to allow for to open up this space to allow that new stuff to come in. So yeah, I'm excited about today.

Support The Podcast

And before we get into the episode, I just want to remind you support the podcast, there's lots of different ways, rate and review is awesome. It helps the algorithm of whatever platform you're listening on. So read it, and then just Yeah, leave a review about this episode, or a different episode that you enjoyed or didn't enjoy. And just give your honest feedback would be awesome. And then another way is to share it, share the episode with a friend or share it on Instagram, Facebook, and just be like, Hey, there's this podcast, or there's this episode that I've been listening to. And I really loved it, and I wanted to share it. Yeah, the more that we can support the podcast, I feel like we can all feel less alone and in our separateness and we can feel that connection. Because I think especially on social media, we all need that positive energy. And just feeling good in our body and not being so focused on the expectations and the judgments. And oh my gosh, how much we can just get circling around in that negative spiral. Especially if we feel alone in the struggle. So I would just love it if you shared the podcast and supported us that way.

Process of Undoing = Clearing The Space

Okay, so let's get into today's episode. So yeah, we talked about our intention setting and you guys already know that this is my favorite time of year, because we get really into a new year, which is a good opportunity to start new goals and start new intentions. Whatever it is, it could be health goals, you know, for your body, or for your life or for your sense of self. And, yeah, and so if you haven't listened to that episode, snag it, listen to it and grab on to some of that positive energy just kind of uplift you in the way that you can really focus on, like, what is it that you desire? And and what kind of change do you want to see and feel fully empowered in that space. So one thing I talked about was the process of undoing, so that we can open a space for recreating so this kind of this process of undoing, like I said, is something that we don't necessarily talk a ton about. Maybe because it is hard, it's can be really scary. And in our society, it's not necessarily encouraged to let go and allow for a healing process and being patient. And so I really want to focus this episode on that. And I also want to add in this process of the undoing of letting go and surrendering, it is really, really, really, really, really how many times can I say really powerful, it is just if not more powerful than the intention and moving forward with desires and setting your goals and how you want to feel. And I actually don't even think they're really mutually exclusive, because I really believe you need to allow for that opening of space. So that you can add in that recreating parts so you can add in all the goods and how you want to feel and how you want to move forward. So let's get into this whole thing. And I want to start just by sharing my own experience and process with this. So I want to start with something that Katie Barbaro told me And it probably even just slipped her mind that she said this, but it really, I just like I heard it. And I just knew that there was a deep truth underneath it. And I wrote it down, and I held on to it until I could really fully grasp its meaning. And she said, the fear that you are trying to avoid is already here. And it just kind of took me aback when I heard her say that. And I could tell that it really resonated for her and her life. And I hadn't yet really understood, how did that relate to me and my own fears, because I knew I was working through some things that were holding me back. And I knew that there was a lot of healing to do. And I was kind of in the middle of that. So that quote, really resonated with me. So yeah, I went home, you know, this somatic to my daily meditations and my daily journaling. And I realized that the fear that I am so badly trying to escape from, was what I actually really was creating in my life. And I was using control as a form to as a form to not feel it, to protect it. It sounds so like lopsided, and it is really lopsided. And I think that control, and living in that kind of resistance place where we can get wrapped up in the illusions of the ego, or just perceptions of ourselves that are really not true, kind of these limiting beliefs that we hold in our mindset. And my greatest fear was losing myself. I felt like I needed to hold on to and really control every ounce of my life, so that I wouldn't lose myself so that I wouldn't become a doormat, so that I wouldn't just become this person where everybody's telling me what to do, what to think what to believe. And I knew that there was this part underneath me that was really unique and special. And you know, the Katie, that you're just like, Oh, you just want to hold on to and so sweet and connected and full of love. And I just didn't want to lose her. And it was this biggest fear. I didn't even really understand it. But I was using control to just stay in that holding on to her. So I would push away people, I would not want to tie on to their energy, I would control my schedule, so that I had my time mapped out so that, you know, I go to the gym, and then I'd come home and I showered and then I go to work. And then like I just kind of felt like I was in this bubble of self control over everything with my schedule and the people in my life. And I just was really wrapped up in all of it. And underneath all of it was this big fear of if I just let go if I just surrendered to what other people needed from me, if I let go of my schedule and been like, oh yeah, I can you know, I'm flexible. I can let you know that yoga class go and I can do this thing with you because it sounds more fun. That never happened. Because I didn't allow it to happen. I was so afraid that if I let go just an ounce, then my whole self would just become a vegetable, I would just become this doormat. And once I realized that this fear existed. I realized what I really wanted and what I really wanted was to feel authentic and to have that space and to have that freedom, just to be myself without feeling like I needed to control it and just allowing the space to exist so that I could feel free. So you can see how it really is Interesting that I was controlling every aspect of my life to protect my authentic self. But in reality, I was really suffocating her. And that's why I had so much suffering underneath everything. Because what I thought I was doing to protect her was actually the opposite. And so now I was kind of in this space of, well, now what do I do? Because once I had that realization, that shifted everything.

And once I felt that freedom of letting go of that control and not having to have everybody, you know, having it all in my head overthinking over analyzing, trying to structure my life around other people around my own schedule, once I realized I didn't have to do that anymore, because I actually was doing the opposite of what I thought it was doing, then I felt like a ton of relief. And in this particular personal growth moment, for me, it was actually in one specific moment, that I felt that big shift happen. And it felt like my self, my, you know, I say authentic self, or it could be higher self, or it could just be that part in you that you just like, oh, like, full of essence of love and connection, and truth. We all feel that that's part of our soul, that's part of our being, that part just kind of broke open. And I literally felt it fill up bigger than what I've been allowing it, it's almost like it's been tight and a container with the lid screwed on Super tightly. And once I find I found that shift, it was like, Oh my gosh, it's bigger than this room. It's bigger than what I can even imagine this space. And it was kind of this energy, right, and I and that's as best as I can explain it. Because I it's just it's a feeling right? It's just like kind of this energy, energy shift. But yeah, so it was really correlated with what Katie said.

And what she said, was one little perspective, she said it nonchalantly and I just held on to it. And the fear you are trying to avoid is already here. I wrote it down in my journal, let it sit for a little bit. And that's what I'm talking about is every shift in perspective will set you free. And that's why the podcast is such a beautiful platform is that we can hear all the different people's perspectives. And one thing you might hear, and you might just know that there's a deeper truth within it. Or you might hear a new idea, or new Wellness insight. And that's just like, that's the coolest thing, I don't think we really can see that the lens from which we see the world is really an internal condition. And we all have different lenses, right based on the environment we grew up in, based on our belief systems, based on our personality, blah, blah, blah, blah, based on all these different things. And if we can make shifts in that lens into from our concern or from our internal condition, then it changes everything, it changes the outside world, it changes how we see our external world. And it can also change the actions that we take an external world. And that's really when you see the biggest changes pertaining to whatever it is that we desire in our life. Not from a place of oh, this is really hard. Oh my gosh, it takes a ton of momentum and motivation. But from a place of alignment, because you've made that change. You've made that internal change so that it comes from a place of ease and gratitude and like simplicity. And it's just so much better. And sometimes we just forget that there's that that internal shift that needs to happen.

So when we're looking at this and you can kind of look at my personal growth story or whatever we want to call it as just an example in the way that I had to let some undoing happening and some healing to happen. Before I could shift into a desire of i Who's like I don't want to feel so overwhelmed and you More, I don't want to feel like I need to just hold on to all of this control, I was exhausted, I got to a point where it just, I could feel it in my body, I could just feel it and everything. And I mean, if you heard the last episode was Sterling, it's like tears, like little tears on the podcast. But in my real life, it's like tears and tears, because it's you're holding on to the suffering underneath. And my suffering was emotional, but it couldn't show up in your body, or body pain or discomfort is a gift, because it gives us an opportunity to learn.

Our body is a vessel from which we can learn. And so if we're feeling any kind of discomfort or pain, it's telling something to us. And all we need to do is listen, and understand what kind of fears what kind of wounds are there that need to be lifted. And honestly, all it takes to start as awareness, maybe we'll we'll probably have to do a whole podcast episode on that on the awareness part, because it's just like the most magical tool in the toolbox. But getting back to the process of undoing so Summit, some of the time we just like we got to investigate a little bit and be curious and see, maybe there's some fears we're holding on to and if you have a desire, if you have an intention where you want to move forward with something new in your life, then hell yeah, girlfriend, get it, I want you to feel fully empowered and supported. And if you have figured out, okay, this is what I want to feel, this is my goal, and really focusing on that positive energy backing it because we reached towards how we want to feel. And if you discover what your goal is, and what that feeling is attached to it, that's gonna give you that epic momentum that is going to help drive you there.

On top of that, let's look at that undoing process as well look at what are some things that you might need to release, what are some fears that you might be holding on to, and you don't have to, you know, you don't have to figure it all out, there's no, you know, trying really hard, there's not having to do anything perfectly, they're certainly not having to have the feeling of I'm not good enough, or I'm not doing enough. It's just a process, right. And if we just open this space to be like home, like there might be some stuff under there that is holding me back from this specific desire. And if you open up to that, then creative inspiration will come to you. You don't need to try or do anything, the ways that I really love to just connect to my deeper parts, journaling, meditation, Bailey Evans, when she was on the podcast, she had a whole different style of connecting to herself, through therapy and other tools. And so it's, it's different for all of us, which is awesome, which is so awesome. So finding the way that really works for you, or just, you know, just letting it be and letting it settle and, and it might just come up when it needs to, that's perfect as well. So if we can allow that space for the undoing and the recreating, then we really will have kind of that full circle momentum to allow us to head into the new year with all of those awesome intentions.

The Practice

And I want to end with a practice. And this is a journaling practice. So if journaling is off limits for you, then that is totally fine. You can also just take this concept home with you and your brain and just, you know, soak it in this practice I learned from Jen Solomon, all these people on the podcast are awesome. I have learned so much and so many different tools and perspectives. So I call it that and journaling and D journaling. And when we're talking about our intentions, undoing and recreating, this is a perfect exercise for all of us when it comes to any goal desire belief. So, at any moment, multiple things can exist at the same time. So when we're talking about setting our new intentions, it doesn't have to be Okay, step one is this. Step two is this step three is this. It's not a step by step formula. And we're all unique. And the way that that one specific desire will unfold for you. And the next desire will unfold differently, keeps us on the toes, right. So being able to just allow the space for all of these things to exist at the same time can be really, really empowering. Especially if you have a brain like mine that likes to be in the analyzing the overthinking the resistance, kind of like all up in the headspace, then this will give you a lot more freedom with your intention. So like I said, it's a process of undoing and recreating. So for me, this is what my journaling would look like. I am in the process of healing. And I am empowered in my goals for the new year. And it feels really scary. And I'm really unsure about how this whole thing's gonna unfold. And I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm really excited. And I'm feeling really good about it. So you can see that it doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. And a lot of different things can happen at the same time. I just love this. Because before I felt like if I was in a process of healing, working through some stuff, and maybe not feeling the most confident, maybe not feeling the best in my body. And that's especially when I when I'm kind of going through these these processes of letting go of surrendering, then yeah, I you know, I don't feel maybe 100% Maybe I feel like a little off, like a little unsure a little unknown. Once I can kind of realize that, I can be in that healing space. And I can also be working towards something that gives me joy. And that momentum and hope, I guess hopes the right word, because it's like, we all kind of need that next thing to look forward to and and once I understood that I could just be in all of these different places at once. Then I just had a lot more acceptance for the moment and for what I was feeling and really connecting what was true for me and allowed me almost gave me that permission to just be multiple things at once. So there it is, it's journaling, or it's just allowing yourself on a daily practice. I do this exercise, sometimes just without an intention or without a health goal or desire. It's just allowing the space to exist that day for what I'm feeling. And just bringing that more acceptance and into myself and, and everything that is existing in this moment for me.

I'm going to end today's episode with a quote from Pema Chodron. She is a amazing mindfulness teacher. I'll put some of her books in the show notes. She has a focus on discomfort and you know the fears that we have, when we're facing something that's uncomfortable that can really come up in that undoing part our fears our deeper wounds, trauma. And this is what she says, quote, “The unknown yields a feeling of groundlessness there is vulnerability and experiencing groundlessness we long for our attachments to feel anchored. Being present to that feeling is an act of courage, wonder and compassion” . I love this quote because I really feel like she hits on to multiple things here. That feeling of groundlessness especially when we're in the healing process, especially when we're trying to let go of things that are not serving us It can put us into a space of feeling unknown, of feeling uncertain. And this is a really profound place. A lot of the time we think about, oh, if I feel uncertain or unknown, or, you know, I'm not grounded, then everything's gone wrong. But in reality, it's actually quite the opposite. You're allowing yourself to exist in a space that you haven't been before. And this is just meaning that you are allowing yourself to grow beyond what you know what you've known. And really allowing yourself to grow beyond those false perceptions of yourself and the things that have held you back. And so it really is an act of courage, wonder, and compassion, all of those things. So I really commend you for wanting better for yourself, that courage that you're showing up for just being better for who you are that higher self inside you, and connecting to that place of love, and support and guidance, and really breaking free of everything that is holding you back from that place. So thank you so much for showing up. I'm so excited for you and your intentions. Let me know how it's going. Send me a message on Instagram. I always love to hear from you guys. My mama, sending so much love to you and your body. I'll see you all next week.