22. Part 1: Create a Healthy Relationship with Food / Katie Kay

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Free Resource: Episode Guide Sheet!

Journaling Prompts: understanding your relationship to food (past, present, future)

Morning Mantras/Affirmations: step-by-step guide how to approach your mantras for food & body

Dive deeper into the mentality “It’s not about WHAT, It’s about HOW”

Episode 22. PART 1: Create a Healthy Relationship with Food

Ready to have an easy, healthy relationship with food? This episode, Katie Kay talks about what is holding us back from having a healthy relationship with food, how control is wrapped up in it, and how you can start to shift into the relationship you want with food (with ease, peace, connection, gratitude). We also talk about 3 essential tools you will need to start your healthy connection with food. Get ready! You won't want to miss this one!

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But we got this, we can handle this. So our relationship with food, and we're having to deal with food every day if we got to eat. And a lot of the time, a lot of emotions are wrapped up in it. A lot of oh, gosh, a lot of stigmas are wrapped up in it. So we'll get into all of that today. First, let me say it is possible to have a sense of ease, a sense of connection, gratitude, love around your food, you do have the ability to change your habits around food. And it might feel hard, or you might have some resistance coming up. And I just want, you didn't know that it is possible for you to have that. And I know because I've been through it. And I've had a horrible relationship with food, thinking I was really healthy and also trying to lose weight at the same time. And it was a lot of control a lot of obsession, food, looking back, now food was really negative, it really was restrictive. And I would almost just say a little dissociated from it because it was this thing that I needed to control and I needed to lose weight. And yeah, and I didn't even feel any kind of ease, or connection or gratitude around my food. And so I was really detached from having any kind of positive connection. And now I've come to a place where I have all of those things. And food is something to be celebrated. And it's nourishing our bodies. And I know that you can get to that place. So you might be feeling like you've just been banging your head against the wall. And every time you try to change or do something, it just nothing seems to work. But that's why we're here. That's why we're here. And you do have the ability to change your habits, we just need to shift to degrees, so that you're not just running in the same direction anymore when you're approaching your food. And you can really shift into that healthy connection, and feel really good about it and even have a health goal, like losing weight. So let's get into it.

RELATIONSHIP TO FOOD

This episode, we taught first talk about what's holding us back from having a healthy relationship with food, and how that control mentality is wrapped up in it. And then we talked about how we are going to start to shift in the right direction towards the relationship with food, the relationship that we want with our food. And then at the end, I will go into some specific practices and tools, we can start to make the shift happen. And on that note, I just want to say I heard back from you guys on the feedback form. I will still put that link in the show notes because I would really love to hear from you, even if you've only listened to one episode, but I heard a lot of feedback that you guys want some more tools, you want some more specific practices that you can carry throughout your week into your day. And so we're doing it, I'm here for you, I typed up all of the responses on my bulletin board, I'm looking at them right now. And they're just staring me in the face, and I'm here for you. And whatever you need. So it's there, I will keep adding to it if you fill out the feedback form, and thank you to all of you that have already filled out the form. So Okay. When it comes to food, let's just first talk a little bit about this control mentality, the control of what we put into our mouths. And it makes sense to have control. And the and think that the more control that we have over what we eat, is going to lead to more results. So especially if you have a health goal, like trying to lose weight, or you feel like you're not eating healthy, and you want to be more healthy. All of those goals, put a little bit more pressure on what foods you're grabbing, and what you're putting into your body. Because you want a result and you're going against an old pattern that you want to change. And so I totally get it, I get the control mentality because I was the exact same way. It's really frustrating, it's really a hard place to be in. Because if you don't have control, it's like letting yourself go eating whatever you want. And then that route doesn't lead you to success in your goals or just feeling healthy in your body. But then on the other end of the spectrum, if you're having too much control, it might not feel like a balanced state. And it certainly doesn't have any kind of ease and connection with it. It's it's kind of can get to a point of obsession and a form of protection and just always trying to plan everything now. And this is me to a tee. So planning out your meal schedule, and always having to stay on top of that. And I think about my own life when I was in that particularly place where I was really mapping out every kind of foods I was eating and trying to have a plan on Sunday night to go to the grocery store. And it wasn't fun, it wasn't enjoyable. But that sense of control really did give me some peace of mind as far as feeling like I had everything in place to lead me in the right direction. So there is that. But the problem with control is it creates this up and down cycle. It's like you're on top of the world, you're doing everything perfect, you have your meal plan, you're figuring it out, and then crash, you ate the wrong food. And all of a sudden, you feel like you're back at square one. And then you're also flooded with all of this food guilt. And you just all have to feel like you have to start all over again. And so this approach is, it's hard if we're really just focusing on using control as our main point of motivation. And I for me, it was like I didn't know how else to approach it. And so I kept running in the same direction thinking that each time I would approach it using my control, I would get better. And maybe I would get some fast results with my weight loss goal. But I was also constantly feeling like I was hitting my head against the wall over and over. It was like I felt like I was fighting something I was fighting myself. Yeah, I didn't really know how else to approach it. So first I want to say your desire to have control around food is not a bad thing at all. And your health goals whatever they are, I want to be 100% supportive of that and you should feel empowerment and whatever you want for your own body. So that desire for your control and Your health goal, I first want you to know, you should have no shame around that. Because that's not the problem, right? It's just the problem is we're running in the same direction. And we've probably been running in this direction, because that's the mainstream mentality. That's what we've been told to do. And so you're just going along, you're trying to do the best that you can. And I just want to acknowledge that you're not doing anything wrong. And I also want to acknowledge that this direction is really hard. And if you've been struggling for a while, I feel that pain I'm, I'm here to acknowledge that, that can be really hurtful. And there can be a lot of fear around food, and your body. And it's also hard to have all of that mental energy around control, it's just a really hard place to be at. So even pat yourself on the back for trying to be better and trying to be the best that you can. And all we need to do is we just need to shift a little bit so that you can get to that place of connection and ease and gratitude with your approach to food and with their approach to body. They're all linked and tied in together. And it's not about doing this whole 180 transition. Right? First of all, there's a lot of pain here, there's a lot of hurt going on with how we have been approaching your food. And there's probably some confusion as well, I don't know, like the same place I was in. I don't know why, why this isn't working and why I'm feeling this way and why. Every morning, I think about what food I ate the day before. And I beat myself up for going to parties and eating too much or drinking too much. And I wake up with a ton of guilt. And that's just all of these things, like eating a bowl of cereal before going to bed and waking up the next day and being like oh my God, why did I do that? I could have just not eat not and I would have felt so much better. But now I have to go exercise and burn off those calories. Look like the first step in all of this is to look at all of our mentalities from our past. And our past is from this present moment. So you listening to this and being able to reflect on what is not working. And it's okay to look at things that you feel like are painful and hurt, and you don't love and still want to achieve your goals and still want better for yourself. It's okay to look at all of these things. I felt like for me, looking at these things, and being like that's not working, that's not working, it was somehow going to prohibit me from getting to where I wanted to be at. So I would much rather put all of those things in the darkness and the shadows, and just ignore them as prohibiting me from having an enjoyable life with my body with my connection to food. And instead just keep trying to move forward. And so I invite you to look back and look at what's not working for you. And look at those moments that were a little hurtful and painful. And when it comes to that guilt, that food guilt, that's a big red flag, you don't need to have that. You don't need to have that. And you can still get to where you want to be.

AWARENESS

So first just looking at the hurt looking at the pain, looking at the fear, and acknowledging and that's a really shitty place to be at, that's a really hard place to be at. And so like I said, we're not going to make this whole 180 transition. So even if you're looking at all of these things, don't be afraid that we're going to have to like change everything and make this massive shift. I say, I know you guys hear me say this a lot, but it's the small steps that are gonna make the real change. And I promise you, you don't have to start all over again and get the plan out and start all that new motivation. It's gonna be that very first small step from this present moment. That's going To make the impact that you want to make in your life, for your body and for your connection to food, and so it's going to be these small two degree shifts, and it's going to send you off in a complete li different direction. So if you think about a boat, and if they make a two degree shift, that trajectory is going to be massively different than where they were originally going to end up. So if you kind of think about that angle of reflection, and going to end up being massively different than where you started. So I know that a lot of the diet mentality and the mainstream, they talk about making these massive changes, and I just want to get it into your head that that's all marketing. And that's all of this, like, huge promise, and everything's gonna change. And it's going to be this massive transformation. It's all based on making money, and companies. And if you're looking at what the science and what the research is showing, and actually, a book is popping into my mind, the work by Dr. Nicola pare, she talks a lot about how significant small changes can really make and how they're really lasting changes. So if you have all of these health goals, and maybe you want to lose weight, or maybe you want to just be healthier, maybe you just want to feel better, and your body, we want it to be long term, you don't want to be stuck in this cycle forever, we want to find a consistent balance, and it's not going to happen if we're making these massive changes and changing everything. And it's gonna be in the small steps. And I know it's not as exciting, but I want you to get excited about it. Because this is like, Oh, that's so cool. This is empowerment. And if we can approach our food, with a sense of ease, and connection and gratitude, and build on that every day, like, BAMM, that's gonna be huge, that's gonna be huge. And such a positive, such a positive way for you to live your life. So this small steps, and let's just get into this approach. So I'm going to tell you something that might be shocking and might not be shocking. But this was the thing that really changed everything for me when I realized it wasn't about the control. And like I said, I was running in that one direction.

IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT, IT’S ABOUT HOW

The shift that needed to be brought into my awareness around food was, it's not about what you do. It's about the connection to who you are. And you're like, What the hell KT is all about. So let me also say this in a new way. It's not about what it's about how you approach it. So it's not about the actual action. It's not about what you're doing. It's about connecting to who you are. It's about the how you're approaching your food. It's about how you're approaching your body. And so for me, it was like, Oh, I've really motivated, I've been doing everything right. I've been approaching my exercise going every day. I've had this meal plan, I'm eating spinach salads with quinoa and eating the right amount of calories. And that's something still not working. And I'm not getting to my goal. And I'm certainly not feeling good about my body, or about the food I eat. And so when I made that shift into understanding, it's not about all of that, which the mainstream, the diet mentality, my friends, my family, everybody is wrapped up in it. It's not about that. It's about how am I approaching all of this. And that's the shift. That's the two degree shift that we're going to make today. And if you have the audacity and the courage To be open to something new and a perspective that might not be aligned with the standards of what we think and society, then that's all you need, the willingness to change, the willingness to be open. And you know, you guys know this, the podcast is not here to tell you what to do. But empower your authentic voice to empower your authentic choice. And that's what's really valuable. And so even if I'm giving you tools and practices, it's all about connecting more of your wellness to who you are. Because if we're fitting the standards, if we're fitting the mainstream, you're going against what you actually want, you want to be unique, you want to show up in a special way, in an authentic way that's for you. And you want to be good enough, you want to be good enough in the eyes of everyone around you and yourself. And you also know that you're meant for more, you're unique, and you're gonna be a badass in this world. And you are going to show up in the way that you need to. And that's what we should be empowering. I've been in that same way I followed every single path that I was told to follow, and what I thought I should follow. And I want my body to look away that was it was supposed to look in this world. And yeah, I didn't really understand like, authentic connection. What is that even? What does that mean for me in my life, and it's really it's tied in with purpose. It's tied in with individuality, and showing up in a unique way that aligns with your truth, your self truth and who you are meant to be. So I know this is a episode about food, but everything's tied in with everything else. And our relationship to food is a mirror into the relationship that we have with life. The relationship that we have with our body is a mirror into how we approach our day to day and our, our life and activities. So I'm not going to get too far into that. But if you want to know more on that the reflection part Women Food and God by Geneen Roth is a awesome book. I'll put all these books in the show notes. But okay, let me take a sip of coffee. Because I'm getting off a tangent, I realize it and let's get back into it. So this approach of how are we going to approach our food? Not about what we're eating what we're putting in our mouths, but how are we going to approach it. So like I said, I had to move into this direction. And it's really kind of seen yourself from a higher self standpoint. And it does have a lot to do with energy if we can get into that energy of our higher self. And what does that mean? It means that we have a little self we have the ego, and the little self is the parts of us that show up as identity. It is the clothes that we're wearing. It's the color of our skin is our gender. It's our old stories that we have plain in our head, from the environment that we grew up in. And it's our beliefs that we've attached on to ourself. It's basically all have those things that define us in this physical world. That is separate the little self the ego is separated from our higher self, our higher self is our soul. It's our spirit. It's separated from all of that. And so when we come into meditation, we can connect more to that higher self. And that's why sometimes we can feel a relief of letting go of any kind of resistance. Anything that's showing up in our life, that is judgment that is separation that is based on lack all of those things. And we kind of have this sense of just authenticity of just Oh, that feels like me. And connecting to that part of you that you know, is full of compassion. And it's the essence of your nature, which is love, which is I Am Love. That's what it is. And you can see if we can remove ourselves from the ego by just bringing in some awareness. And looking at our life, just like I said, looking at our past and seeing what's not serving us.

MY JOURNEY

So my journey, I first went to a nutritionist, and that was the first step. And what now i to the point I've gotten to now is where I feel that connectedness and letting go have any kind of guilt or shame around food. And a nutritionist, I started out with a control mentality, I started out on a diet, and I lost weight. And that first step, for me, it wasn't a step of that two degree shift that shift into knowing, okay, it's not actually what I'm doing. But it's about connecting to who I am, and understanding how I'm approaching my body and food. But it was at least the first step in removing the shame around my weight loss, and removing the shame around my judgment on my body and, or how I was connecting and responding to food. It was somebody I could come to, to talk to you about all the things that I was struggling with and what I felt. And that was my first outlet and to really looking back and looking at the past mentalities, removing myself from my all of my beliefs, my ego, from who I thought I was, and being able to look at all of this and being in removing a shame around it, and being open to it. And then I went into intuitive eating, once I lost the weight, and realized something still wasn't working, and I still wasn't happy, I still didn't feel good in my body. And that's when I went into the intuitive eating. And that led me into my daily affirmations and changing my mindset. And then meditations and specifically, I went into this course called finally full, Gabby Bernstein, and that I'll put the link in the show notes as well. And that was meditations on understanding my connection to food and my past relationship to food, and how that's a mirror into my relationship now in the present and how I wanted to move forward. So a lot of reflection and bringing in that higher self and inner awareness. So Gabby's courses really brilliant for that. Women food, and God by Geneen Roth, already mentioned that, and then therapy and just going to therapy and working through some of those deeper truths. That like I keep saying they're all interrelated. So anxiety, and holding on to pain and trauma in my body. And all of those things, working through some of those things helped me to release some things that I didn't need. And of course, connected me more to my body, and of course, change how I approach food, all of these little things. So all of those things led me to this point. And you always know I say this, I'm not perfect. I'm still on my journey. But looking back now from that moment, I decided to go to my nutritionist, which I'm going to have her on the podcast in December. end of December she'll be on so definitely look out for that. She's amazing. Anyway, you'll love it, but This outline of my journey is the what? And I was a little like, should I give them what I have gone through because every all of us have our own path. And I don't want this path of mind to throw you off and think like, oh, I need to go to a nutritionist or oh, I need to start going into intuitive eating, let me buy the book, I wanted to make it very clear is it's not about the what? And all of these tools. Yes, I totally recommend they worked for me, of course, I would recommend them for you. But it's I want to be clear as far as like, this is not the answer.

3 TOOLS/PRACTICES

TO START TO CREATE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD

So the answer is, these tools I'm going to go into, and I'll give you these three amazing tools that you can really start this transformation process. And maybe just picking one of these that resonates or maybe doing all of them. But this is the shift that we're going to make out of just relying on our control, to solve all of our problems with food and get us to our health goals. So we're gonna shift away from that a little bit into this more self awareness and into this, how are we approaching our food, and how are we approaching our body, and also connect to more of who you are, and your essence in yourself. And from that place, the more that we can bring all of that. And then we can look at the what and the and the specific journey and the specific path that you're gonna take. But it's not reliant on what you do, you can do many different things. And if you have that self awareness, it's gonna completely change every single one of them. And they may all lead you down the same path to where you need to end up. But yeah, it's like, it's hard getting out of that thinking of, what am I eating? What am I doing, what kind of exercise but isn't it a little also a little bit of relief? Deep down that inner knowing part is like, Oh, thank God, I'm exhausted. I'm just I can't go down this path anymore. It's not getting me to where I want to go. And I'm kind of like fed up with having to wake up every morning and think about what I ate the day before and think about what I need to do today. It's like, you girl, you shouldn't have to live your life like that. I want it to feel so much freedom, I want you to feel like you can break free of all of that and still live the life of your dreams. And it is possible. I'm a living walking example. And that's like, that's empowerment in itself. And I know lots of people are powerful examples. It's just that we can't market this in like our mainstream money, mongrels, thinking that we can just we have to tell everybody to follow this plan and buy this book and do this and you'll be happy forever. It's not like that. And so connect to their self more and connect to that higher being that lives inside you all the time. It is you that is you. That is your true nature. And the more that we can connect with that your world's gonna change I promise everything's gonna change. Okay, so tools, let's do it.

Number one, understanding relationship with food, past present future. Okay, so let's get into the tools. Tool number one, understanding your relationship with food, past, present future. So this is a journaling exercise. And if you're listening in your car or on a walk or something, just know that I have put the all of these tools in the episode guide sheet they will be in the show notes for you. So you can go home, print them out, look at them. But for now, while you're listening, it just want you to reflect and think start to think about this. So number one is about the past, present and future relationship with your food being able to reflect on it. So the past is looking at the environment you grew up in and how you Approach your food. So we all carry different beliefs and mentality around food. And dependent on how we grew up, this might be how we have carried some of these habits into how we approach our food now. So if you think about, you know, growing up, and maybe you all sat at the dinner table, and it was a family occasion where you had food together, you ate dinner together, or maybe it was more independent, and you all kind of relied on your own selves to eat food, and you're all really busy. And what kind of energy was around the food? Was it really fast paced Was there some anxiety around it was there some control around it, or maybe it was really slow and meditative, and you blessed your food before you ate and right, there's all of these different ways that we all approach our food differently. And it's really empowering, to be able to look at the environment that you grew up in. And without judgment, right without feeling any kind of shame around it. Because sometimes I feel like we hold ourselves back from this, because we don't want to hurt our loved ones. And we don't want to think badly around our family or ourselves. And I just, I want you to come from that higher self standpoint, and be able to just look at it with non judgement, and curiosity. And just seeing that your, your environment that you grew up in is affecting how you approach your food presently, potentially, right? So it's important to be able to look at that and just kind of see it. And I invite you to maybe set up a quiet space and have a journal, and just be able to reflect on this a little bit deeper. And just allow yourself that space, because it isn't about judgment or negativity. It's about compassion, and understanding and being curious. And so yeah, give yourself that space, and then the present. So once you can look at your past, once you can look at that environment. Now you can look more at how maybe some of those mentalities have come into your life now, and how you connect to your food and how you approach your food, and what kind of emotions are wrapped up in it. And understanding that is going to serve you a lot because you're going to be able to look at what's no longer serving you what are some of the things that you're carrying from your past into your present that you no longer want to hold on to. And then the future. So getting clear on your goals. And I know a lot of this, like a lot of programs and diets and the mainstream mentality is like get really clear on your goals and figure out what you want. And I agree, I agree that it's important to really get clear on your goals and write it down and remove the shame from it. Because I want you to feel 100% fully empowered, and whatever it is that you want. And I want you to realize that it's you, right, it's not about anybody else, it's for you, it's about you. And that's a really good thing I, I want you to feel like you can have better for yourself and having any kind of goal. Is that, right? So being able to put it clearly down and feel really empowered in it and feel good about it. That's a good thing. So whatever it is losing weight, just wanting to feel better, trying to eat healthier, whatever it is just putting it down feeling that empowerment around it. And then I also want to invite you to add an end to your statement. So I have been trying a lot lately to understand that multiple things can be true at the same time. So like, for example, with the podcast, I can feel overwhelmed and anxious. And I can really love it and feel empowered, and I can feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. And I can feel grounded. And I can feel like this is the best podcast ever. And blah blah blah. You get what I'm saying or when it comes to your loved ones. If you got into a fight or something I can be upset at this person, and I can still love them. So having that and having that openness and space, multiple things can be true at the same time. And so when it comes to your health goal, or whatever you're looking towards, for your future, I just want to invite you to add that and statement with a new purpose with a new intention around your body and food. So maybe it's, and I want ease, peace, calm, gratitude, whatever it is around food around your body, maybe it's you want to feel supported, or you want to feel empowerment, energy, vibration, frequency, choice, purpose, whatever it is, for you, all of these things is available, and just being able to look at that in that expansive way. And putting on this new intention, because that's really, really powerful is having a purpose with your goals, and what better purpose is there than to understand how you want to feel. And I think for me in the past is I haven't really felt like, I've been able to look at that, because I felt like if I wanted to have a sense of connection with my body, or food, or even this is a big one for me is having a sense of ease, having a sense of flow and had been easy not having it to be so hard, I didn't feel like I could have that intention, and still approach my health goals and move forward in the direction I wanted. And that really was wasn't true. And it confined me into a tunnel vision of what I thought I needed to approach my body and food goals with. And I want you to know that it doesn't have to be like that, right? And, and setting a higher purpose, a higher intention with what you're doing, can be so so empowering. And I also want you to know that empowerment, and confidence, this doesn't have to be wrapped up in your other health goal. So you can have a weight loss goal. And you can have a goal of self empowerment. Right? The empowerment isn't necessarily wrapped up in your weight loss, you can separate the two, I want to be working towards losing weight. And I have the goal of self empowerment. And I want to be confident, and I want to eat healthier, all of these things can be true at the same time. And I want you to feel like you have this space to include all of what you want.

Number two, daily affirmations or mantras. So this was a really big thing for me, and being able to have something to read every morning, that set me into the frequency that I wanted to carry into my day, and reminding me what it is that I truly want, and what am I moving towards. And this is a really powerful way to feel empowered for the day, but also start to change your mindset. So this is a great way to start separating yourself from your old belief system from the old stories that are not serving you into that higher self mentality. And being able to really get into your own truths and your own decisions about your body and your connection to your food. From what culture is telling you, from friends from family, from what you yourself is telling you that's no longer serving you. So being able to separate from that, and our mind, right our mind on repeat, we can start to build that space, from our old habits from our own mindset into what we truly want. And this is such a great way to approach that. And I want to tell you, I have a morning, mantras PDF download in the show notes. And this is a great place to start so you can print that out. And then all of those mantras, you can start to adjust and change into your own authentic mantras and that's a really great thing. So this mantra sheet can just be a Starting step into your own mantras. And from that tool number one, when you start to reflect on your past, looking at your present, looking at what you want in the future, you can start to really bring that awareness into what are some new mantras that you want to carry into your day. And so this kind of like flowing like from your journal exercise, then you can start to build these mantras, create new belief systems, find some empowering statements that will set you in the direction that you want. And I also want to make the note that your old habits and your old mindset, they'll still be there, right? Those, I still have thoughts that show up that I know, no longer serve me, and I don't want to be wrapped up in their drama anymore. And luckily, I've built that space, doing my mantras every day, to be able to see those thoughts pop up, and just see them from a higher self standpoint, from a new perspective. And seeing them more openly, more clearly with non judgement and having the empowerment to say, I have a new purpose, and I don't need to believe this thought. And then being able to choose to see it differently, choose a new, higher, better feeling thought, and that's the space that we're creating. So it's not like these thoughts are just gonna vanish, thin air, and they're gonna go away, but it's being able to see them. And when things come up, like food guilt, it's it gave me that space to be like, oh, you know what, that's not something that I believe anymore. And thanks for you know, thanks for showing me that. And I can see you I'm not shutting you down, right, I can see you, let's figure out what's really going on here. And then I had the ability to choose to see it differently. And that's, that's empowerment.

Number three. It's not what, but how. So I know this whole episode has been based on this, right? It's not about the what, but it's how we're approaching everything. And you can see the past two two tools are really supporting that it's not about the food you eat, and exercise that you're doing and the planning, planning your whole meal plan doing everything right, I get that that also brings a lot of relief. Because it's a bubble of protection and control can feel really good. It can feel really empowering. But I want you to know that you can feel empowerment, without needing to go in that direction. And I bet there's a place inside of you that is has a little bit of relief, and probably a little bit of fear as well. Because we've been told that this is the way to approach food and body and have a plan and our friends, family, the mainstream all of the marketing, everybody is telling us to do this all a certain way, based off of money and based off of companies that are trying to sell you something and give you these big promises. And you deserve to feel fully in your truth and fully yourself. I want you to know that you are light and you are fully amazing. And you should totally uplift your authenticity and uplift that you aren't meant for more and you are meant to be a badass in this world. And you can be that in the expansiveness of space without feeling like you need to follow some sort of standard. And I know that you want that. But it's hard to do that because we're all being told to do it a certain way. And we're all told that if you want to be that, you need to check these boxes and you need a plan and you need to have total motivation. But I can tell you that there is a way more empowering approach that doesn't involve you being stuck in that box anymore. And I don't want that for you. And I bet that like deep down you're feeling that truth within you. And it's scary like I said also fears protection might be popping up and that's also a truth that you can carry right now and don't you know, don't feel like you need to shut anything down. And it's just, we're gonna just make some small shifts to start feeling that empowerment and see what it starts to do in your life. And so when you're focusing on the how, how we're approaching everything, the first step is bringing in that awareness and compassion to everything that showing up as truth, and all of your emotions. And the more that we can bring that sense of awareness and curiosity into our life, the more that you will understand who you are more and more, and you'll start to understand your relationship to food now and how you want to transition that giving yourself that space to just be curious, with a beginner's mind, looking at everything from that higher self, and just being able to see it without adding on your own judgments, negativity. Yeah, give yourself that space. And like I said, I know it's not easy, but it is going to change everything for you, if you can be open to just that crack of light of understanding and awareness. And so if guilt starts coming up, just notice it, shine a light on it, and say, hey, you know, what's going on here? What am I feeling? Understanding yourself in that moment? What are the actual thoughts? What am I feeling in my body? What are some sensations that are coming up some emotions, and yeah, not shying away from it, being able to shine that light on it. If anxiety comes up, be curious, see how it feels in your body. Notice if maybe your chest is tight, or your throat tightens up, and then reach for that cookie to cure your emotions or reach for those potato chips. And instead of putting more guilt on yourself, just notice how your emotion shifted from that anxiety to eating the food that cured it into something else. What is it now how does that anxiety feel in my body has it moved. Just an example for me when I started to really notice that my anxiety moved from my chest and throat, into my stomach. And so I still felt that uncomfortableness, even though I reach for that cookie, I ate it, I felt better my emotions, it was now felt a little bit more trapped inside my body. And so that might be true for me in that moment, it might be completely different for you that, you know, you might feel so much lighter and so much better. And that's just another cue. And we're just learning more and more about yourself, your body, your sensations, your emotions, all of these things are going to build and build and build, and you're gonna feel more and more connected to who you are. The thing is, is we want to know more of you, we want to understand you and that's like, that's going to build that confidence. And that's going to build that relationship with your body that you've been longing for that support that love. And that guidance, feeling fully supported in that way is you're going to experience everything differently.

So that is it, a lot and taking what resonates and leave the rest. You have full choice here. And you can also throw all of it in to the trash is your own truth. And it's a big topic. So give yourself maybe this week or a few days to just let all of this kind of simmer. So honor your process. And I want you to know you are exactly where you need to be right now. You are right where you need to be and even if it feels like a hard place. It's perfect. It's perfect where you need to be and you will, you will move in a direction of positive change. And you're here you're showing up you have that courage to ask better for yourself. Expand yourself, expand your relationship to your body, moving past the blocks that are not serving you. And deepening your practice really deepening connection to food. It's all amazing. So my intention for this episode was first to make you feel less alone that we all deal with these struggles with food and I could just do a whole episode on the crazy shit that I experienced with food and all the crazy thoughts and emotions and reactions. And I just want you to feel like you're not alone, we all big or small carry judgments, and control, lack, all, you know, positive, negative all things around food and none of it needs to be shamed or brought down. It's just being that bringing that curiosity. And it's okay, wherever you're at now it's okay. It's okay to be there. Let's just allow yourself to be exactly where you are. And that's exactly where you need to be. And then the second thing is I wanted you to look at food with a new intention and a new purpose. And then the third thing is give you a few practical tools that you can carry into your day into your week. And again, you can take all of them, you can print out the sheet and start to move through some of those, or just listening and being here, you don't even actually have to take those tools with you. I believe just listening and being open is the most important thing that you can do. So if none of those felt really good or resonated with you, there's no need to take them with you. There's no need to put anything on yourself. That doesn't serve you right now. So that's it you guys, thank you so much for being here. I know your time is precious. Yeah, share this with a friend. If you thought it was interesting. If you thought that somebody might enjoy hearing a new perspective on food, a friend, I would just love for you to share it. I think this podcast has a lot of potential. And I just want it to be a light for anybody that needs it. And the best way that we can support this podcast is by sharing it and supporting each other and being there in the most open way and share our truth and share that truth with others. So please share this with somebody. So that's it. I'm sending so much love to you and your body.

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EPISODE REFERENCES:
Daily Affirmations: FREE MORNING MANTRAS PDF Morning Mantras for Body & Food
Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach
Women Food and God, Geneen Roth