27. First Step to New Beginnings
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Episode 27: First Step to New Beginnings
I want to be toned, I want to fit into any clothes, I want to have more energy, better sleep and feel connected with my body. The question is HOW. How do you create a new relationship with your body? How do you start to live authentically? Today's episode we talk about the very FIRST step in creating the change you want with you body and food. Katie Kay shares her three profound moments that transitioned her relationship to her body - and its probably not what you think! We also talk about meditation practice and bringing new intention. Having a hard time staying motivated to keep a meditation practice, this episode will help bring new empowerment so you can stay motivated!
Hi, everyone, and welcome to today's episode, I'm so excited to share this episode with you about the first step to take to create your new relationship with your body. However, first, please rate and review the podcast. It lets it be seen to others and listeners that need their own body breaking free life. And I also love to check up on those and see your guys's comments, what's working, what's not working. I'm always here for you and your feedback. So please make sure to do that and support me and the podcast.
So today's episode is a big one, talking about what is actually that very first step to take.
If you're in a place where you're ready to see change, you're ready for that transformation. And maybe you've been running in the same direction and just feel like it's not working and whatever that looks like for you. Maybe it's approaching a certain health goal, trying to lose weight, trying to eat better, or just trying to be more toned, and fit. And just wanting to feel overall more connected with your body, whatever it is. And I've been thinking a lot about this. And I've been reflecting on my own personal journey with changing my relationship to my body. And then also reflecting on certain tools, I've used certain mentors, and programs and all the things that kind of impacted my transition my process to creating that life in my body that I want to be living. And I want to be clear in the way that I'm still still in the process. And I still, you know, I still experience pain, I still experience food guilt, I still have days where I'm just not feeling my best. And I'm still moving, I'm still going through therapy, I'm still learning what kinds of exercises that really feel good in my body. And it changes right it changes month to month and time to time. So it's kind of this evolution in this process. But I can tell you that each step I have taken when I decided I wanted that authentic connection with my body and really wanted to feel in an empowered place in the way that I was doing it before just didn't feel Empower empowerment or really wasn't getting me to any kind of results with any of my body goals and, and I just I decided there needed to be a much better way, a better, less hard way to approach it. And from that moment on every step I've taken in this path, I look back and I just am amazed how much better I feel and and how I approach my body so much differently. And then get kind of I was thinking about what is this first step and and I think some you know someday I want to offer a wellness plan something that I can offer people that they can take into their daily practice and however that looks maybe membership or a course or maybe even just daily emails. But I'm trying to figure this out because I want it to be an approachable process that can be met can everybody can use, but also uplifts and supports throughout authentic process. And the hard part with that is we all have different bodies. We all have different energies, environments, that we grew up in belief systems and To exercise plans and what feels good, what doesn't feel good. But that's the exciting part, right? We're all unique, and we're all beautiful in our own way. And it's empowering to be in that place where you feel really unique, and, you know, meant for more than just fitting this mainstream ideal. And that's the Empowered place I want to, I want you to get to. So creating a new relationship to your body is, is this big kind of transformation. And it's even in the same breath, I could ask the question, how do I start to live more authentically, because if you really want to change your relationship to your body, and food and exercise, and the whole spiel, then really, it's about promoting your authentic alignment with your body and yourself. And I want you to get to a place where you're living in alignment, where you feel that authentic connection where you feel that energy, of empowerment in that place of your self truth in your uniqueness. And on the feedback form, I asked you guys, what is it that you want to feel like in six months, and a lot of you responded, I want to feel toned, I want to feel like I could fit into my clothes, and I feel good about it. And then there were some weight loss goals and want to lose 10 pounds, I want to have less fat, I want lots of energy, better sleep, overall, feeling connected with my body and self, feeling safe and comfortable with my own skin. So all of these are beautiful intentions and beautiful goals. And we know that the way to approach any goal is through the small steps. If you want consistency, if you want long term results, it is in the daily practice and the small steps that we start to see the real transformation. But the question is how like, how do we transform our daily practice? And how do we start making those small steps. And we know that whatever you have been doing so far just hasn't been working. either. It's been really hard, it's been negative, or you haven't been getting the results that you want. And we see that right, we see that if you are trying to change and let's say you're hearing now, you're not feeling very good in your body, you're not feeling comfortable, and maybe some sort of struggle pops up, like you ate too much food and you're feeling that food guilt or some kind of fear or pain pops up. And then you're in the process of trying to fix it. So you fix it, you do the exercise, you eat better, you feel better. But then it comes around over and over again. It's called the hamster wheel, right? Where it's kind of stuck in this cycle of negativity, judgment, guilt, and it's just creates kind of this dissociation from our body. And also it's like exhaust, right? You know, I feel like you're stuck in this cycle. And you're just fighting, constantly fighting, and you just have to keep having motivation. You keep feeling like you need to stay in control. And it's this up and down. Nothing's changing. And certainly our relationship to our body isn't changing. It's, we're creating this bandaid system where we're just fixing the one struggle that keeps popping up. And that's why we keep stay in this loop and we're really not changing our patterns are changing our habits. So I can tell you looking back at my own experience, I just want to share what my own process with changing what were like what were some of those big steps those big moments for me that really changed the this process this connection with my body, and then I'll get back into that. Okay, what's so what's the first step what, what are we going into, and how do we get out of this never ending cycle of shit stuck in and we we need to get out and feel empowered and feel like we're headed in a direction that feels really good.
So the first moment for me was a surrender of surrender of control, but it wasn't really it wasn't really surrendering my control. It was really surrendering to not knowing what to do. I kind of felt like in this last place, like how do I really make change? Because I know whatever I'm doing is not working. And I had to just surrender to the fact that everything that I was doing to try to fix, it wasn't working. And I didn't have the solution. And I felt probably a little hopeless, because all of the diet books, all the programs that I had tried, and I looking out, looking at all of these experts and telling me, you know, this is gonna work this, like this is it, and me saying really committed and motivated to that particular program? Well, none of them worked. And I was just kind of at this place of surrender of like, I don't know what to do. And I don't think what I've been trying to do has been working. And that was a big moment for me, because I had always placed the blame on myself, whatever program I had tried, I was failed. And I thought that it was my fault. Looking back now, I was like the most type a motivated, driven person. And even if you're not that person, it's like you're doing everything, right. The problem is the program. The problem is, whatever you're following, they're not getting you your results. Put blame is on them. If you went into a doctor's office, and you had some kind of illness or something going on, and the doctor gave you a prescription antibiotics and told you it was going to be healed, and he gave you the and you took the pills and nothing happened. And maybe even you got worse, you wouldn't blame yourself for that you would blame the quack doctor that gave him the wrong medication. And we need to look at what we're doing. And that same way, we need to really empower you and tell you like you're not doing anything wrong. If it's not feeling good, if you're not getting results. It's nothing's wrong with you, your hearts in the right place. You're doing everything perfect. And if you feel like you just don't have control, you have lack of control. You are just in your head right now you're saying well, yeah, but like I was eating like all that food? Well, I was doing that extra exercise program. And I really wasn't paying attention to my diet. So I mean, of course, it didn't work because I was doing all the exercises, but I wasn't eating right. Those are still thoughts that are placing the blame on you. That is so so untrue. So I want to put that out there because that had to occur for me to get to that point of surrender of really realizing I'm not going to reach for the next diet book, because so something's wrong with the system. Something's not working outside of me that I've been following. And I need to have a little faith in myself and a little trust that this really isn't the best way for me authentically, and I need a new approach. I just have no idea how I'm going to start it and how that's going to look like for me. So that first moment was a realization. It was a realization, something the way that I was approaching, it wasn't working. And I didn't know how to fix it.
And then the next step, in this process that was pretty profound was having the presence of I am not my thoughts. And realizing there were belief systems inside me that I was so certain of, and I was so wrapped up in that were completely untrue for me. And a lot of these were just the mainstream, certain right or wrong, that I had taken on. And of course I did because I was young, and I didn't know any, you know, different. And having that awareness from my thoughts. And my belief system gave me just a little bit of space that allowed me to really look at what was driving my actions with my body with food with exercise. And so that was also another realization that shifted things for me. And I started really changing my mindset and started changing and approaching my habits with a new kind of presence and awareness.
And then the third thing that I thought was very significant was understanding In trauma, and this was much more recent for me. And this was through therapy, and just saying, I have a story to tell, I have a body story of pain, and fear, and control. And even though nothing happened in my life that was really traumatic, I still had a story, I still had something that was really painful inside. And that was the deeper layers that was accessing those deep, deep layers within me. And in this, I also realized, we all have layers and layers and layers of beliefs, of habits of patterns of trauma of pain. And so I realized, of course, we don't know what we want. Of course, we can't live in this beautiful, authentic alignment all the time. There's a lot of work to be done here. We have been influence since the day we were born on who we should be and who we, the people around us think we are. And there's things that have happened in our life. And there's things that we've believed that has created a lot of pain and, and so we can't use all this sudden, it's no fast process, right? We can all of a sudden, just be authentic and know exactly what we want. And so when somebody is asking you questions like, well, what really lights you up? What makes you feel good? What kinds of exercises make you feel really good? What types of food make you feel really connected to your body? All of these questions, it's okay, if you don't know, I had no clue. There's still oh my gosh, a million things I have no clue about. That whole realization of there's so many deeper layers to access. And don't get me wrong, the work itself, yes, it's work. But it's so much more rewarding to go into that work, rather than the work of just trying to stay afloat, just trying to keep your head above the water. Because that that motivation, just trying to stay above the water is so much harder than the reward and the connection that you get from the work of looking at those deeper layers and looking at yourself, and understanding yourself. That's the goal, right? Really understanding yourself on a new level. So from that first realization, I realized there was a component of recovery. And I honestly believe we are all in recovery to some degree. And it doesn't need to be defined by some traumatic experience or something that you think you have had to have a lot of pain in your life, or a lot of, you know, something that happened that was really horrible. I believe we're all in recovery, because we're all influenced by the world around us the environment, what people expect from us, our responsibilities, the belief systems of the mainstream, our tendencies to people, please so that we can feel love and give and receive love. It's all things that we're all trying to, we're all dealing with. And shining a light on that and understanding that this is a recovery. And this is a process. And it shifts me into a more compassionate state. And it also shifts me into a more patient place and treating my body and myself with deep awareness and just trying to understand it more, and realizing there's a lot of things that I don't know, and that's okay, it's okay to not know. So all of these transition moments for me were points of realization. And looking at that and then looking at body acceptance. Looking at mentors, like Tara Brock Eckhart Tolle, les Pema children, all of these mindfulness teachers, and learning about being present and living in the moment and bringing mindfulness into your day and bringing that radical compassion and acceptance And then looking at the science, the research behind how do we approach our health goals and, and looking at the stories that have been told on this podcast so far, and being able to interview all of these guests, seeing and hearing what they have gone through with their body struggles and how they have transitioned out of it. We have all of this understanding at our fingertips. It's already there. We already know the tools. We hear people's stories, we have the scientific research, and then we have our own stories to look at and being able to encompass all of this kind of understanding. And so when we're looking at all of these components, and what is the process of creating a new relationship with your body? What is that process of real change, change that we want? That takes you to a place that you can feel confident in your body? How do we get there? How do you feel empowered? How do you approach your body, your health goals, your food, from an authentic place, and from that place that I heard from you guys, you want to feel overall connected, you want to feel like you can fit into any close, you want to have more energy, you want to have better sleep, all of these things are big, big transitions. The answer for you is the way to get there is a process of within. It's a process of transformation, within every moment that I had made a big shift in my journey. It wasn't about what exercise, I changed, it wasn't about the types of foods that I ate. It wasn't about the tools that I had brought into my practice. All of these things, don't get me wrong, there's so important and it's so valuable to just keep learning, keep understanding, and keep moving your body, keep exercising, keep taking care of yourself and eating the foods that feel good in your body. But the real transformation happened, changing my relationship to my body by changing with it. So it is about creating this daily practice. And it's about taking those small steps. But it's a process of transformation of within just as much as it is of creating a wellness plan in using the tools. And that's how we combine and awaken our wellness and really dropping in creating a deeper sense of presence, awareness, openness with the body.
And I want to read you a quote that I grabbed from the Yamas and Niyamas by Adele. And I'll put that book in the show notes. Quote, knowing that we aren't who we thought we were, begins to open the possibility of knowing our true self, and quote, so knowing that we aren't who we thought we are, and being able to surrender in that place of feeling a little lost, being okay, not having all the answers, and giving yourself that grace and the open space to just be just be in the unknown.
And this is actually the most beautiful place that you can put yourself in. As the quote said, it begins to open the possibility of knowing our true self. And I've been going back to that quote a lot. Because being in that awareness and stepping back and giving yourself that space, it can be a really vulnerable place to be and you can feel really unprotected, not always grasping on to control. But it's also a place of you are giving yourself that opportunity to understand what is your true self. And what is it that feels really good. The first step to creating a new relationship with your body is simply that it is simply that awareness that you can bring into your practice. And that is the most profound thing. And I could cite off 10 books. You can call me out on it too. You can DM me in Instagram and I'll send them to you that would say The awareness is the most powerful thing that you can bring into your life. So with that, I want to offer the tool of meditation to start your new Wellness Plan. And I've heard from a lot of you that it's hard to maintain a meditation practice, and probably most of you have tried before. And I'm not gonna lie, I've been through that same process. And it wasn't until about a month ago that I really solidified my meditation practice, which I do the first thing I wake up in the morning. But I hope that this new insight will grab on to your meditation practice with a new intention, and new empowerment to really start to bring this into your daily practice. When we meditate, we are creating space from our old belief systems, our habits, our self, our little self, that we have wrapped our identity in or wrapped up, or wrapped up in, so we can't see it from a different perspective.
And Meditation allows that space to exist and bringing that awareness and even if it's just 10 minutes a day, it's about showing up for yourself, and being there for a few minutes. So I'll do 20 to 30 minutes, if you just want to reference for what I'm doing in the mornings, but having a new intention, as how powerful this awareness can really come into your life and start to change your relationship to your body, and food and how you're approaching it. And being in that space of like, I'm ready to change dog. I have no idea how to do it. Well, this is it right? This is the beginning. And it's so so powerful. And I can tell you from my own experience, that it also allowed me to view my emotions, my pain I feel in my body. And it was it was allowed me to view it and step back away from them. And it was like this light of freedom I created. And it's like, we look for freedom outside of ourselves, we feel suffocated by the schedule and the restraints and the responsibilities. But freedom isn't external freedom is within, you can have a sense of freedom and find that within, that's gonna change how you perceive your life. And all of those restraints, all of a sudden become less influential, and you're less wrapped up in the drama of it. And it's like, all I can really say from my experiences, I've always been grasping for that freedom with control. But it all along, it was already within me it was already inside me. And all I needed to do was to stay with my meditation and stay with myself. And I'm not saying it's not uncomfortable. If it's uncomfortable, you're, you're not doing it wrong. If it feels emotional, you're not doing it wrong. My intention with this episode was to bring new light into what we what we do, and what's the process and what's the first step that we can take. And I also wanted to offer a tool that you can bring into your daily practice to start this to start this beautiful new path and creating a new relationship to your body. And the meditation is a powerful practice. It will influence your relationship to food, body and self, it will create that space and feeling that connection and really feeling that support and love and guidance that you really been longing for. We're just looking for it outside of ourselves. But it's all there, that energy, that frequency, it's all there inside you. And setting up I like to do in the morning as a way to set up my frequency for the day the way that I can carry my energy into the day. And I can tell you the days that I don't do it are drastically different than the days that I do. But keep showing up and you do have the ability to change your habits around your body around food around exercise. You can get to a place where it's not so hard, or you just feel like you're constantly fighting and find that alone. alignment and then you'll start to feel that sense of ease and flow and energy. And I'm going to leave you all with that today. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Please feel free to reach out to me. Let me know what's helping you. And if this episode really resonated, please let me know it's I printed out the feedback form for all of you that filled it out. Thank you so much so much. And it's on my bulletin board. I'm looking at it right now as I do this show and I'm here for you. I really want to show up for you. So please reach out to me or fill out the feedback form if you haven't yet. rate and review the podcast leave a comment. Thank you so much. Your support means everything and your support for yourself means everything. I'm so glad that you have the courage to keep showing.
