56. Well Empowered: Sustained Weight Loss / Dr. Jessie Hehmeyer
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How to achieve your health desires AND uplift your purpose at the same time. Dr. Jessie Hehmeyer is the physician founder of Well Empowered where she helps her clients to create a foundation of health that transforms their experience of life and alters what is possible for them. Jessie practices data-driven, outcome-oriented Functional Medicine. Today's episode we talk about the weight loss roller-coaster, and how find a better process that includes the true vision for what you want to create in your body and in your life.
"I am empowered by the beauty and ability of my mind, body and spirit. Through realizing my fullest potential I empower and inspire others to realize their fullest potential"
Episode Topics
End the Weight Loss Roller Coaster
Purpose Driven Life: What's Truly Important To You
Tool Awareness: Kind & Honest
Create your Vision Of Vitality
(1) Stand in the 5 Year Future
(2) Spiral Down 5 Year Future
Katie Graham
thank you so much for being here. I'm excited to get into your work. And I was just looking over your bio. And I think a lot of the things that you focus on in your business and with your clients will just really relate with what we need to know and connect with getting past some of our own body struggles and that internal resistance. And I know that you focus on a lot of weight loss. So even just like trying to get healthier in our bodies, whether it's weight loss, or if we have a different goal in mind. I just think that anything that your insights, and your business is just going to be so fabulous. So I'm so thrilled to have you here. And I'd love to know your own story to start, start this episode off. So can you tell us how you got into this work? I know you have a ton of credentials, I looked at like master's degree in nutrition, and you have all this different stuff. So what just like sparked your passion to get into this kind of work?
Jessie Hehmeyer
Yeah, that is a great question. Well, so you know, health and wellness have always been really foundational to me in my life, right? I grew up dancing. And so movement was always a big part of my life. And in undergrad when I went to UCLA, undergrad, and I selected my schedules based on when and where I wanted to work out. So that was kind of like how college was right. It was like designed throughout my workout schedule, which was amazing, because I you know, like rollerblade to the ocean. And back on a Tuesday night in February, it was great. As a gal who grew up in the north suburbs of Chicago, especially magical. And then you know, after college, I started out really not quite sure how I want to express my love of the body and contributing to others in their journey. And I first started out in the world as a physical therapy aide. And then when I moved back to Chicago in 2000, I ended up partnering with a husband and wife and opening up the very first high intensity strength training facility in Chicago that is now July 1, we'll be having its 20th anniversary, so excited for them. And I sold my half of the business about four years later, knowing that I wanted to expand my knowledge and my ability to contribute. Right. And then I went on and got my doctorate as a chiropractor are masters of science in nutrition and functional medicine, became an institute of functional medicine certified practitioner, all that stuff. So that's like, you know, like the logistical journey. But to step back in and share a little bit of my personal journey, you know, what really, you know, led me into this world of guiding people with data driven natural medicine and really guiding with them with tools that allow them to get out of their own way and create the health that they say is foundational to authoring their life. And for me, it was really because at one point in my life, I didn't have the health I knew was foundational to authoring my life. And you know, that was in my early 20s, mid 20s And I really struggled with I call it the weight loss roller coaster right gaining weight, losing weight over and over and over again for over a decade. And I remember I was you know, I was at this point I was I owned the gym was you know, the managing partner of the gym and I was standing in in the kitchen of my apartment in Lincoln Park, Chicago and in one hand, I had my keys and in the other hand I had this kind of like sludge filled glass and And, and then you know, like I heard that for
because my stomach was growling because I was starving, because my sludge filled glass held the remnants of a few days of the master cleanse, maybe some of you, maybe you or some of your listeners are familiar with this, right? It's like cayenne pepper and lemon. And I think there's some honey in there iron, whatever. And, you know, I was ravenous and so like, of course, my keys are in my hand, because I was going to go going to go to McDonald's to get the McFlurry, right, because naturally when one is ravenous, that's what one does, right. And in that moment, I really just got how I had been living for over a decade in this broken all or nothing paradigm. Right, it was, you know, the 30 day fill in the blank fad diet, and then it was falling off the deep end, because it was so born of deprivation and self aggression, that it just wasn't sustainable. And you know, then I'd gain all the way back, I, you know, get the McFlurry or whatever was was, you know, the treat du jour. And in that moment, when I really got was that this all or nothing world is broken. And I got for me, that my struggle with my weight, really had very little to do with the scale. And staying in this, you know, broken paradigm was costing me the opportunity to author my life, right? It was interfering with my ability to be fully present with people in the way that's meaningful and important to me, it was interfering with my ability to fully contribute to others. And I just really got like I am done with it. You know, it was like a line in the sand moment for me. And what I stepped into was a whole new way of being around food and my body and how I was caring for myself. And it was one born of self love, one born of curiosity. And it was really at that time that I birthed this, what I now call concept vision of vitality, I really got clear on my intention for my health and my life. And as opposed to doing anything drastic, I really moved with a sense of kindness and self love one foot in front of the other. And over time, I found myself with mastery in this area. And really from that was wholeheartedly committed, like, you know, I made a promise with the divine that, you know, be with me in this journey and guide me in this journey. And I will use my journey to be a contribution to others. And that led me to go to graduate school and ultimately to do the work that I do today. And you know, guiding people to triumph in this area of health and vitality is is such a privilege and joy for me.
Katie Graham
Oh my gosh, Jesse, the story is so relatable. And it's just like, there's so many things that you said that I want to unpack. But first like focusing on that what you're talking about, like that cycle, that weight loss roller coaster, that's what you said that roller coaster because that's totally what it is. It's it sucks that so many of us have had to deal with that and sucks is like not even like it that's such a light word to use for that because it really is painful. And like you stuck in this fear mentality. And for me, it's like, one thing that you said was like, it really didn't have anything to do with the scale. Like it really wasn't about the scale. And in my head when I was in that cycle, it really wasn't about the scale because I had lost the 20 pounds. And I was you know, I was at my ideal quote unquote, weight. And I just kept going because I was like, I was stuck in something that I felt like I couldn't get out of and I didn't want to get out of because I was trapped in it. And I wasn't happier. Like I remember that day I stepped on the scale. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm 130 pounds. And and I don't want that weight to be triggering for anybody. But that was just in my head. I had that number like I want to get down to that weight. And it was like this almost like just ambiguous like, subtle. Like, I didn't even really have a conscious reaction to it because I was just like, oh, okay, and I think it was because I was so depressed and I had so much anxiety and I just like wasn't happy that it was almost like I didn't even acknowledge I had reached my goal because it just like didn't mean anything to me at that point. And when I look back on it now it's like the The mentality of being in that roller coaster it just like sucked the life out of me it like sucked what you talked about like being present being with people that you care about. It was like my only intention that took all my time and energy was this goal of looking better, because I wanted to feel better in my body. And I wanted to be confident, I was like all of these beautiful, wholehearted things that I really wanted underneath. Like, it wasn't like I was a bad person for wanting to get to my ideal weight. It was, you know, I wanted to feel good. And I wanted to be confident in myself, it was just that we get into that society norm of this is how you're going to do it. And it ends up just like taking everything away that you really wanted in the first place. And so I just can totally relate to what you're talking about being in that cycle. And also, what comes to mind is just like this kind of consuming, because you were talking about that all or nothing mentality, which Oh, my gosh, is like the number one thing when you're in that, like, when you're in that cycle, it's like this all or nothing. And it's so consuming, and so draining. And it just like really took, like my purpose away from me and my life, like now I can like, I can step out of that mentality and cycle and live in a higher purpose for what it's like, I can show up in my body in a way that's like, I'm not so focused on how I'm I look, I just like, I want to feel healthy. And I want to just feel like that's supporting my energy. And then I can serve other people. And I can show up on the podcast, which obviously, like it just lifts me up when I'm talking about it, because that's a much higher vibrational energy to put out into the world. So I think what my question is here is you were talking about that transition from being in that cycle, that weight loss cycle, which we can easily get trapped into, and it's really hard to get out of it. Because our subconscious thoughts, our ego, like everything is in that mentality. So even if you know what's, you know, it's like sticky, you don't feel good, you want to get out of it. How is that transition happen when you're talking about the self love and curiosity and having intention? And all those beautiful words that you use on the other side of it? So what is that gap? Like? How do we go from that negative cycle into this, like higher vibration? You know, practicing that self love every day and getting into that a different energy pattern, a different cycle that we actually want to be in?
Jessie Hehmeyer
Yeah, that is a really great question. And I would say like much else in life, it really comes down to two essentials. And that is the carrot dangling, which is what would be available for you and your life in this world. With this handled in this future you intend, right? Where you feel great in your body where you're freed up, when you're at ease, you know, all those things, and you have mastery, right? You have the outcomes you care about, but it's from a place of self love. And so it's therefore sustainable. That would be the carrot dangling. The other one is the stick on the back. Right. And the stick on the back is a few different things. You know, like for me in that moment in the kitchen, with the sludge filled glass and the keys, right? It was the suck of that moment, quite frankly, it was like I have been in this moment, so many times. And I hate it. And I'm done with it, and not done with it, like bad meat on with it. But like, No, this isn't working. I am over it. I'm not letting this be my future again, and again. And again. You know, and, and in so it's it's a combination of getting present to both the future that really is available and possible. And also, like the cost of you know, like no change the suck of no change. Right. And so that that is when I work with people. And I mentioned something I call your vision of vitality, in your vision of vitality really is your intention for your health in your life. And so when I work work with people that is a foundational aspect to our work, I actually guide them through an exercise of creating their vision of vitality. And we work together off of a shared Google document so that they really get these concepts and they they ultimately through getting present to the carrot dangling and the stick on the back right. Ultimately, it turns into the carrot dangling Right, they really feel that forward pull to fulfill their intention for their health in their life. And, and it is a process, right? We all have, you know, we, when we talk about habits, oftentimes, we think about habits like brushing our teeth, or, you know, going for a jog or you know, a million what time you go to bed, things like that. But there are habit thoughts, right. And so there is some, you know, really being gently, you know, reinforcing of yourself in your habit thoughts, what, what thoughts? What new thoughts am I going to have about this area? How am I going to be gently with myself? Right. And so, you know, I think for all of us right there, there are certainly some some similarities or common things that are very effective. And for everyone, everyone's going to have the nuances of their own personal journey. And so I'm a real champion for people being curious and tapping into their own wisdom, and really getting for themselves like, Okay, what do I think would be helpful for me, to, you know, shift from a broken all or nothing to mastering my middle ground, and, and really stay present to that this journey is about love. It is about love of self, it's about love of others. It's about love of life.
Katie Graham
Right? Oh, yeah. I love that. The vision of vitality. And it is almost like this instant, where you have to decide this isn't working like this is no longer working for me, even if you don't have a solution. You just know, this is not it. And I've had that and it's in it wasn't even like this big like grandiose moment. I wish it was kind of this like Phoenix Rising moment or coming out of the ashes. But it really was just like a subtle, like, I can't function this way anymore. And so I went to a coffee shop with my journal, and I just wrote down, like, the reasons that it wasn't working, and I couldn't function and I was exhausted. And like, where my time and energy was consumed, that I just knew, I was meant for more. That was one thing it was like I was I met for more than this. And it's like, if I want to spend, yeah, and it's almost like this vision of this future to you kind of look ahead, and you're like, if I want to spend my time and energy in this way, like, where am I going to be out when I'm 50 6080? Like, what is my life gonna look like? And it Yeah, it like it was just kind of this weird, ambiguous moment, I must have just been ready for it. But I know, like I read Gabrielle Bernstein. I love her work. And she just talks about, like, all you need is a willingness, a willingness, and I never really like, grasp that concept. Because I was like, well, is that really all you need to change is a willingness to change. Like, that doesn't seem like enough. But I do think when you're talking about Jesse, it's like, it makes sense that there has to be some moment where you really decide I want something better for myself, and what's working right now is not working for me. So I think that's like a very, very good way to start change. What you're talking about is really setting that intention. And with your clients. Do you see that intention? Is that variable? Like what? Like, do people just like, oh, this is why I want to change? Or do they also put in like, what it is that they desire for the future? And then you kind of go from there step by step how to work through that.
Jessie Hehmeyer
Yeah, so there definitely is. So I love that you intuitively like you sat down with a no bat book, and you looked at okay, what would the future look like when I'm 50 or 80? With this trajectory? Because that's, you know, genius right there. So when I work with people in creating their vision of vitality, there are two questions that become the foundation. And those two questions are stand in the five year future. And you know, like actually do some time traveling, right. So standing in the five year future, in the future you intend, what is it like for you to be in your body? What is it you say about your health? And what does that make available for you in the world? Right, and I have people actually write that story. Right. So in the present tense, first person, so I'm 45 right now, right? If I were writing you know, my my story right now, I'd say I'm 50 years old and my body is beautiful. it's strong, it's resilient, it carries me wherever I would like to go, you know, I'd say whatever there is, that would certainly be a part of it, what I just shared, right? And in so people tell this story of their intended future, that five year future and first person present tense. And then the next piece is that we say, okay, spiral down future, right? What is the five year future where things don't get better? They continue on this trajectory, and they go spiral down, you know, what's that five year future. And people also tell that story in the first person present tense, and it really gets them present to the impact of things the way they are. And, you know, with these two aspects, carrot dangling stick on the back, right? Then they go on, and they refer only to the five year future work committed be their truth only to that beautiful five year future. And they distill it down to two to three sentences. And the cool thing about this is that in someone's vision of vitality, there's there's never anything about weight, and there's never, you know, I see people for digestion and fertility and acne, right. But weights, definitely weight loss, mastery is definitely the thing that I guide people to triumph and most commonly, but whatever it may be, that they're committed to in the area of their health, it's actually what they get is that it's what becomes available with this handled, right, like you were sharing the joy you got out of showing up on this podcast and being a contribution. Right, that's the juice of life. Like, that's what we want our lives to be about. Right? And so people get to voice how they're going to be about their health or how they, you know, in, in what that makes available, right? So you know, an example of a powerful vision of vitality, I'm empowered by the beauty and ability of my mind, body and spirit, through realizing my fullest potential, I empower and inspire others to realize their fullest potential. So you'll hear in that, like, there's nothing about, like, there's nothing about the weight or weight in there, right? It's really like, what becomes available in my life with my health handled, and how would I say it is that my health is handled?
Katie Graham
Right? Right, that totally makes sense. And it really reframes the perspective of our bodies and weight loss and like what is really important to you. And maybe like what you're talking about, it's like many different things like the spectrums like digestion, and like, just like wanting to just feel better, and like live healthier, and exercise more maybe or like, whatever it is, that is somebody wants to change or move into. I find a lot of the time that the weight loss might not even be my specific goal for my body, because I'm getting outside influences to tell me I need to look a certain way. And so I really have to check myself to say, you know, well, am I okay, at this weight? Like, can I do everything that I want to do? And can I jump on my mountain bike? And can I go to a yoga class, and I'm definitely not trying to reach some perfect state anymore. Like at one point, you know, I think there's a lot of fear. Yeah, perfectionism was just, I mean, it doesn't exist, like, there's always going to be times where we don't feel good, and we don't feel adequate. And I think I was also trying to reach that point. So I wouldn't have fear. So I could live without fear. But that wasn't what the fear was holding fear. It was really my belief systems that were holding the fear, like, I thought, because if I lost 20 weights, 20 pounds, 20 pounds, and I was lighter in weight, then I could climb my mountain bike better, and I wouldn't be so afraid of being judged and being with a group of people and then going like, way farther up on the trail. It was just me like being self conscious. And I really needed to step into a more empowered place. And that was really what was holding me back. And so when I really think about my weight right now, I think will, am I in a body that I'm able to do the things I love and can I enjoy those things? And if I have a fear coming up, and I can really address that and be like, okay, Katie, like, what's going on here? Like what's showing up and then I can easily move through it without being like, oh my gosh, like, I need They get on this weight loss plan ASAP. And then I consume another, you know, month or two months, and then I get wrapped up like I can catch myself before I get down in that spiral. And I think it's beautiful what you're talking about, as far as having this intention that's really almost grounding that client or whoever it is in that space of like, this is really where I want to be in five years. And so it can remind us it can keep reminding, like, this is what I want, if a thought comes up, like, this is what I want, if some fear comes up, like this is what I want. And so it's just like, that's kind of the North Star, what I'm kind of getting that Jesse is like, that's the thing that you hold on to, instead of like these repeat things that will like they will pop in our heads no matter what, because they've been built in there for so long. But that and but now we have something new, right? Something new to stop the cycle. Is that kind of the like, what happened?
Jessie Hehmeyer
Well, in North Stars, the perfect term, right? It really is. So you totally you got it right there. Because, you know, when we are clear on our intention for our health in our life, our intention serves as our North Star. And the cool thing about that is when we are present to our intention, which requires not getting not just getting clear on our on our intention, but staying present to it over time, right? If you get clear on your intention, and you stick it in a drawer, you know, it may not have the power you you want it to have, right? I would bet not right. But if you create some practice around really just reminding yourself your intention for your health in your life, right, because we do have a whole world that communicates in a variety of ways, messages around weight, and body and food and things like that. And so it does take getting clear on one's intention and staying connected to it, to have all that noise occur as noise, like irrelevant, totally irrelevant. And the cool thing about creating one's vision of vitality and getting you know, another way to say that is getting clear on one's intention for their health in their life, is that the conversation of the North Star is very, very different than good or bad. Right? Because when we're clear on our North Star, it's a conversation of alignment. And alignment occurs in gradients, it's not black or white, we can be more aligned or less aligned. And it acknowledges the humanity right, perfection is for the birds, it doesn't exist. And so you know, when it's a conversation of what aligns with my intention for my health and my life, it's a very different conversation, then, Oh, should I eat this? Should I not? That was Oh, that's good. That's bad. Oh, I cheated yesterday. That is all the conversation of morality, and moralities, you know, locked in with shame. And that's just not really a productive way to move about the world is reinforcing a way of being that you first of all, you didn't create, you inherited it, right? Nobody would have made it up. It's really broken. And we inherited it so great. We can invent something new, just like you're doing here on these podcast conversations, inventing a new way to be about our health and our well being and changing it for generations to come. So cultivating conversations that are about alignment, what aligns with my intention, for my health or my life. Like that's, that's a whole new world that becomes available.
Katie Graham
Oh my gosh, it's so good. Like, it's so good. Because it's like connection and alignment. Like those words are so powerful, like you can feel that energy of vibration, just lift rather than the judgment and the good or bad. And I found when I was really in that negative state, it's like, I every little choice was judged. Every little thing was judged. And it wasn't even the day it was like every decision so when I stepped back now and then I had a bad day and I over ate or I didn't exercise. I just like I give myself so much compassion. And it's like, oh my gosh, I can move past that. It doesn't mean that it doesn't suck that day and don't feel good. And I wish that it had turned out differently but I'm just like, they're like it's like an element of self love that it's like it's not gonna affect my next Stay, you know or love. Like, right, yeah. And, like, such an easier way to live as well, but not that it didn't take work to get there. But yeah, it's like this confinement and almost like I would say like the suffocating place, I would just want to tell the listeners that there is like so much more expansion and possibility, when you can just start to kind of break that mold like a little baby step at a time. Because it's like what Jesse's talking about, it's like, you start to feel like these words like, that really resonate, like alignment and connection and expansion and possibility capability. It's like, that's what really happened to me. I mean, if I look at it from a bird's eye view of like, I really felt trapped and suffocated in my life circumstances, even if from the outside perspective, it looked, quote, unquote, perfect, and I had all the privileges and, you know, the wealth and the education, I was so suffocated. And it was because my perspective was so limited and trapped in that space. But it was like those little steps I took that allowed me to move past like, one little good or bad judgment. And then, you know, each step I took that could move past that place of confinement of judge myself of hating my body of, you know, all of these limitations. It was like, Oh, my gosh, like I it was almost like, I lifted my head up. And I could see the abundance of the world like, and the options around me, but it took a while to get there, Jessie. And, and I'm sure that you see that with your clients as well. So can you tell us like, what are those tools? Like? What are some of the tools that you offer your clients, because it is like, when you're, you know, you're trying to make change, like your whole being your whole body is in that place? Right? And so you are having these thoughts that are in the place that you're at. So like you meet your clients where you're at, right? And so it's like, but it's like, I guess I'm getting at is that this subconscious programming, it's so hard if you don't know how to work through it to get out of that place. Because your thoughts are continually telling you? No, don't do that. Stay in the comfortable, don't push yourself don't change. And so what are some of maybe those internal tools that you'll help your clients with? And then maybe there's some other ones that you would like to tell us as well? Yeah,
Jessie Hehmeyer
sure, well, I'll say a few different things about internal because, you know, I say what I do is data driven natural medicine or providing data driven natural solutions. And so quite literally, from an internal perspective, right, when I work with people, after a first appointment, we have I have them complete a lot of labs, because oftentimes, there are things happening in their body that are, for example, interfering with healthy production of neurotransmitters or hormone receptors, or, you know, like their metabolism as a whole, mostly people think about their thyroid when you say the word metabolism, but there's a lot more that can, can interfere with a healthy metabolism, right? So, you know, getting all that information. And, you know, when I work with people, we I do screen shares and share it and explain it to them, because it's really important to me, that people understand what their labs are telling us about their body. Right? My My company is well empowered. And to me, that means like, my job for the people who I work with, I want them to have the information, the strategies and enduring inspiration they need to create and sustain the health they see as foundational to living the life they intend, right? So it really is, you know, so much of my work is education, in educating people on their body, right so it's so brings me so much joy to walk people through labs and share you know, like, Oh, my goodness, your inflammation is elevated. No wonder why you haven't been able to lose weight, like inflammation is a noble number, and people see this number and we talk about what we're going to do about it and then we actually go back and test our work. We don't cross our fingers, right. So when people start to see how their physiology as is is affecting their health, it really is freeing to because it's, you know, it's like just, it really frees them up to, to know the truth of like, not my fault. Right? Yeah. And, and then, you know, in the conversations and different elements that people master along the way I provide people with I call them fulfillment exercises, we could just call them homework. But I, when I work with people, that's what I give them homework between our appointments, and there, they could be reading a blog and answering questions or reading a chapter of a book and answering questions or listening to a podcast and answering questions, right, there are different things I bring, according to where the person in front of me is. And you know, I work with some groups, and then, you know, create it for that group also. But those different fulfillment exercises really allow people to gather the insights they need based on where they are in the journey. And, you know, it becomes a collaborative endeavor. You know, when I work with people, we do a Google Doc Sharing of nutrition and symptoms, because that helps me look for points of leverage, right ones that aren't obvious to them, and help them come up help people come up with new solutions. And, you know, like, again, yeah, so much of this work is educating people, you know, when it comes to nutrition, the constant pull of going into shame, and instead of like, you know, going into that habit, stepping into a whole new way of being with oneself that is gentle that both honors the truth of choices, right, like regret is actually productive. Regret is a way of looking at choices we made that caused us unintended harm, right? It wasn't like we set out to do it. And, and we can also see that a new choice in the future would be helpful, right. And so regret is a useful thing to reflect on. And that's something I do with people so that they can see with kindness for themselves, what's working and what's not. And, you know, it does for most people, it does take something to step into a place of kindness, and look at, you know, choices that they wish they hadn't made. And it's, you know, like, imagine someone mastering tennis, for example, right, like they wouldn't Excel if they couldn't see.
Where are they we're making errors, they just wouldn't, right. And so this area, you know, the first thing I say is required, in order to master wait is being kind and honest. And mostly, those two don't go hand in hand, mostly people feel like, okay, I'm done with being unkind with myself. So I'm going to be kind to myself. And that means I'm not going to look, I'm not going to look at the scale, or I'm not going to look at the choices I'm making. And I appreciate that if the only choice were be unkind and look or be kind and don't look, I would vote for be kind and don't look. But the good news is that's not those aren't the only choices. It's just that people are stuck in a paradigm where it feels like that's the only choice, right? And so being able to be honest with oneself, like look at the choices and look at the number of the scale. And doing so with kindness, with compassion with self love. That practiced over and over and over again. Oh my goodness, transformative, like mind blowing?
Katie Graham
Yeah. Oh, I love that tool. The simplicity of it is just so powerful. Like think about if that was just the one thing that you had to come back to Day in, you know, like, every day, every hour, like, whatever, there was a choice made and you needed to just step back and bring awareness to it, like what you're talking about, like the regret and the guilt. Like that's a perfect example where you can to bring in that kind and honest like that. That's a beautiful tool, because that's really all you need to start is just like pause and be like, How can I be kind and honest. And once you've set that intention, like you've already set that intention like this is happening, like because I'm committing to myself, and I'm committing to a different way. And so your willingness to participate in this new way has already happened. And now you have this tool where you can just bring that in and every moment and I love your talking about that honesty part of it too. I think that was one thing I didn't really quite evolve, like I didn't quite evolve into Intel later and my journey of really, truly being honest with myself, and it was like this, like the radical honesty, and it's been able to shine a light on our fears and on our judgments and on the ways that we think that we are not worthy, or we have shame around or feeling unlovable feeling not good enough. It's like, I thought, the more I could just like, not shine a light on those, I could just put them in the closet, like they wouldn't exist. But they, I mean, they existed in a more powerful way. It was when I looked at them truly, with all of this honesty, it was like, almost took the power away from them to really control my life. So that component of what you're talking about, like Yeah, I can be kind to myself, I can look at the guilt, like say I, you know, ate some ice cream last night I woke up, I was like, Oh, my God, like, I shouldn't have done that. I feel gross. Like, I didn't sleep as well, like, shame on me. You can pause like bringing that awareness like, oh, yeah, I'm doing something new, like this new thing I'm doing with Jessie that's helping me coach through this. And you can bring in that kindness. You can also bring in this sense of radical honesty, like what really is happening here? Like, am I really wanting to be super shameful about eating this ice cream? Like maybe last night, I was having a really emotional day, and having that ice cream really comforted me in that moment? And I needed that, you know, it's like, or maybe there's a different honesty component of it. And maybe Jessie, is this kind of like what you're seeing? Are the clients like that kind of example, as far as like, the kindness and honesty?
Jessie Hehmeyer
I would say yes. And in that situation, right. If someone actually regretted eating ice cream, and and by the way, I definitely don't think people should always regret eating ice cream for the record, but if, you know if, if it really was like, Gosh, I wish I had done that, right, I didn't sleep as well, my, you know, my digestion is all wonky, whatever's there, my skin's breaking out whatever's there, right. If that if someone actually regrets it, I would invite them to actually experience that regret with tenderness, you know, like kindness, like, almost like, it's can be easier for people to imagine a child in their life, you know, or even themselves as a child or a pet. You know, but but especially like, if you imagine a child who was upset. It's hard to imagine be raising that child for being upset, right? Who's crying? Right? It was it's way more imaginable that we would comfort them and tenderly, right, and so bringing tenderness to ourselves, but also looking at like, Okay, if I really do regret, I wish I had not made that choice. How might I, in your example, how might I self soothe in a different way? Right, there are a lot of different ways we can self soothe, and it's not bad or wrong to self soothe with food. But if the action if you regret having done it in the way you did, it's like okay, well, what would be a better solution for next time? How can I set myself up with that? Right? Whether it's have a different type of self soothing food, or do something entirely different, you know, color draw, right? Email, a friend call a friend, right? Like that, but really, with the intention being, that it'd be a learning experience and also not, you know, you know, with zero make wrong around it, just real tenderness, like, Okay, if that really doesn't work for me to do that. How might I set myself up in a future situation that's similar, so that I can live aligned with my intention for my health in my life?
Katie Graham
Oh, I love that. Yeah, it's like bringing in that kindness, but then also, you're opening up like, next time I'm confronted with this same situation, I have different options. Now, the way that I can approach this emotion or whatever it is, I love that because then then it really does open up like more possibilities and options for you to soothe yourself that doesn't have to include food if that's not what you specifically want that aligns with your intention in that moment. So it's beautiful. I love that explanation. Thank you, Jessie. 13 go for. Yeah. So I love to ask the guests at the end of the episode, what their own wellness practices are, just to give us all a little inspiration.
Jessie Hehmeyer
Yeah, well, I, I love bookends. So I'll just start with book ends. So in the morning, I do connect with my intention for my health in my life. And I typically do a mini meditation in the morning, by many, I mean, three minutes, I really have found that three minutes goes a long way for me. And so that's my morning book end, my evening book end is I count my wins. So I have a journal next to my bed. I'm a big believer of the power of pen and paper to rewire the brain. Not just true, it is true from a scientific standpoint, that there is we rewire our brain brain best with cursive and pen and paper. And also, I just love a pen and paper anyway. But yeah, so buy my book. And at the end of the day is I count my wins, right, what I want to acknowledge myself for and also what I'm grateful for. So it's kind of a combo of count my wins and gratitude. And, you know, during the day, I you know, fueling myself with nutrient dense food is a total joy, I just love, you know, the way I eat brings me so much joy. And it didn't happen overnight, right, it really was one foot in front of the other. You know, my husband and I, we love to hike, we love to get out and be active. So walking, and being active is a big part of our life working out is a big part of our life. You know, those are, those are some of the things that I just really light me up and totally aligned with my intentions for my health and my life.
Katie Graham
Love it. And I just want to invite the listeners to reach out to Jessie, because she just has like, I mean, we only like baby, tap the surface of your knowledge and expertise and nutrition and fitness and every you know, everything involving with health and body. And if something that Jesse's saying that's really resonating, I mean, you can just tell from our conversation, like what an excellent coach he is, how kind and compassionate and then really hear for your higher intention, which I find, you know, with a coach like, that is so beautiful that you're able to really expand your client's perception of their life and really help them step into a higher purpose. And not just, you know, kind of focused on like, Okay, what's your goal? And let's, how are we going to get it done? And step by step like you're in it for the long haul. And I can tell Jessie, like you just have such a great heart. And so I invite the listeners, like, reach out to her, Jesse, what's the best way that we can find you and contact you if somebody out there wants to reach out to you?
Jessie Hehmeyer
Yeah, well, first of all, thank you so much for your kind words, Katie, I really. And the best way to reach out to me is on my website. Well, empowered.com. And for anyone who is interested in exploring working together, please feel free to schedule a complimentary consultation. I really do think of it as exploratory and it would be a pleasure to connect with anyone who who is curious. On Instagram, you can find me at well empowered, so well empowered, and Facebook you while you while empowered? And if you have any other questions and would like to send it via email, you can send that to W E at well. empowered.com w e at well. empowered.com.
Katie Graham
Amazing, amazing. And I'll put all of that in the show notes so people can just click on it. Find you and yeah, thank you so much, Jesse for being here all the way from Switzerland. We didn't even bring that up. But you are all the way in Switzerland, which is amazing, but really fun to chat with you. And I'm just so happy that you are here sharing all your expertise. I learned so much.
Jessie Hehmeyer
Thank you so much, Katie. It's a pleasure being with you and your audience. And thank you for doing this work. You're you're really doing beautiful work here. And it's a tremendous contribution. So thank you.
Katie Graham
Thank you so much. And thank you listeners for showing up. I will see you all next week.
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