25. Part2: Create a Healthy Relationship with Food / Katie Kay

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Dive Deeper into the Mentality “It’s not about WHAT, It’s about HOW”

Tools for Dealing with Food Cravings

Food Mantras

PART2: Create a Healthy Relationship with Food

Ready to have an easy, healthy relationship with food? This episode, Part2, we dive deeper into the "HOW" to approach your food instead of the WHAT.  This episode is jammed packed with daily practices/tools you can use to shift into the energy you want around food. 
We get into creating awareness to approach food, emotional attachment to food, how to approach food craving, environment & energy around food, and more.

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to body breaking free podcast. I am your host Katie Kay. And I'm so excited to get into today's episode on part two of how to create a healthy relationship with food. So today, we are going to dive more into the how of how you're approaching your food. However, first, please rate and review the podcast. This lets it be seen to others that need their own body breaking free life. So spread the love, connect and share the podcast to spread out that positive energy for those that need it. Okay, so let's get into it. Part two of our discussion. And if you missed part one episode, no worries, you can be here listening to this episode today. And then feel free to go back and listen to part one. Part one we talked about first understanding our relationship with food from the past and how it's influencing our present and how we want to look forward to the future. We talked about daily mind shift changes with daily mantras or affirmations. And understanding the concept about it's not what we're doing, but how we're approaching food. And today, we're going to build on top of that last topic and really dive into how do we approach food? And why is this so important? And how is this really going to change your whole experience around food? First, I want to remind you that you do have the ability to change your habits. And if you're in a place of control, and feeling stuck and feeling like food is kind of this place of restriction, and just negativity, just not really a sense of ease. It was kind of hard to manage hard to be around and kind of sucked into what is right, what is wrong, what should I eat? What am I doing the all the right things, I want to tell you, it's just so easy to get trapped in that mentality. And there is a way out. And it is possible to have a sense of ease, connection, gratitude and even love around food, treating it as nutrients that come into your body and fuel you and fuel the vessel of your body to live the life that you want and everything that you want your health goals, your body goals, and be in that empowered place. So I want to tell you, it is possible and your intention to improve your relationship to food. It can be a process, but I promise you every step you take in this direction, you will feel more aligned, you will feel more supported, more connected to food and your relationship to your body. And that's really what we want, right we we want to feel that higher vibration, empowerment, confidence, all of those things are truly available to you. And I know because I have been through that same process. And I remember when I was trying to lose weight and I was always trying to improve my eating. All of my energy was invested in what I was doing so in what was right what I should be eating, how many calories I should be in taking to achieve my goals. And it's the diet mentality. It's that mentality that really cut me off from my own intuitiveness in my own body, and it put me in

low vibration, which definitely wasn't making me feel good, or improving my goal on weight loss. So it really wasn't doing anything for me. And I felt really trapped in that cycle for a long time. It also created a lot of up and down. So I felt like I was doing really good, I felt really in control. And then I ate the wrong thing. And then all of a sudden, I'd have this food guilt, and I'd wake up the next morning, just feeling gross in my body and getting into that low energy, feeling down on myself feeling down on on what I did, and, and like being an existing and this up and down, it's just, it's not a place that I want your energy to be at. I've been there and it's not going to help you connect to yourself, your body, it's not going to help you with any kind of health goal that you have. And it just keeps us feeling stuck. It's stuck in this cycle. And you're meant for so much more than just being continuously up and down and having to feel any kind of judgment on yourself food, guilt, negativity, all of those things are just limitations to the potential of who you are, and all the amazing possibilities. So it's important to show up and, and you are showing up and having the courage to ask for better for yourself. And it starts here, it starts with looking at our relationship to food, and body and working through that process. But I promise you, you will with each step, feel more of that connection, feel more of a sense of ease and peace in your body, and connect more to your own truth. That's the energy there's so much empowerment and what is true for you and not aligned place that that's the kind of energy that I want you to get to so that you can carry that in to your life and just be the badass that you are so.

So when I was talking about being stuck in that place, the process that took me to the moment where I really realized this mentality wasn't true. The problem is, is that we're being told that this is the only way to approach our food to be in that controlled state to have more motivation to keep improving. And we're being told that you cannot achieve your health goals, body goals, if you don't follow these rules, and you definitely can't have empowerment if you're not in control of these rules. And it took me to that moment that I realized this really wasn't true. That changed everything for me. And just like I had my own journey to get to that place, we all have our own unique journey to realize that these these things holding us back are illusions. And we can shift in in a whole different way that can really uplift and expand in such a more powerful way. So the key is by changing how you think about your food, how you approach your food, and this will change your experience around food. It's not about the what are focused on what we are eating and what we should be doing what is right, what is wrong. How many calories am I eating, all of that is such an illusion and can be such a block to actually connect into what is intuitive within our own bodies. And I know that can seem really scary. Like for me, I was really afraid of connecting to intuitiveness in my body because I didn't trust myself yet. And I didn't trust my own body to tell me what felt good. What kind of foods made me feel good, made me feel nourished, and other foods that didn't. And it was kind of like this relearning process, which can bring up a lot of fear. And especially if control is a bubble of protection, like it was for me. Don't focus too much on just like having to let go of control and all of a sudden having to trust your body and get into this amazing intuitive state. Because it's a process and it just starts with that two degree shift, just that slight shift. And that's what we're going to talk

about today, I'm going to give you some specific tools to start to make this shift. And really change your experience around food, change your energy around food. And this is such a great place to start. And it's kind of amazing. Once you start making a shift in this direction, like I said, it gets a little bit easier, you start to feel that connection. And step by step, you move in the direction that's going to align with what's best for you. And that's really exciting. So I want you to get excited. And today is the first step into understanding that concept of how and, and changing your experience around food. Okay, so let's dive into this whole concept of how. So in part one, when we hit on this concept of it's not what it's how I talked about bringing in that awareness and just creating some space from your food. And the goal here is really trying to understand yourself better, and start to understand your relationship to food. And this removes us this awareness gives us that space removes us from The Good, the Bad, our thoughts, our beliefs that are wrapped up in food, it just gives us that moment of pause, where we can notice, why am I grabbing for this food, what am I feeling in my body, what kind of emotions are coming up. And it's not about not having an emotional connection to food. Because I know, a lot of the time people say, Don't emotionally eat, like don't have emotions around food. Well, of course, we're gonna have emotions around food, it's part of our life, it's part of our body. And it's not about the emotion, it's more about the attachment, the attachment to the emotion, the attachment that we hold on to food. And so when we create a little bit of space between the emotion that we're feeling a sensation in our body, and then eating the food from that emotional release, then it's creating more space from the attachment. Just like our thoughts, we can create some space and some awareness from the thoughts that we're having in our head, can look at them, we can see them for what they are just thoughts just kind of passing by. Or we can hold on to a strong attachment. It's just so easy to get attached on to that and then even start believing this is who we are, I don't have any control. I hate how I look, I'm fat, I am not good enough, I am not motivated enough. All of these thoughts are just thoughts, right? But becomes a problem when we create an attachment onto these thoughts and start to really believe in these thoughts. So same thing with food, our emotions, we can have an emotional connection with food. But it's when we gravitate to that attachment to that emotion and attachment to that food to cure that emotion is when we get into a little bit of trouble. So this awareness, it might not seem like a big thing. But it's creating that little bit of space, that little bit of pause that we start to tune into our body tune into ourselves and create that separation from food itself. Being aware, grabbing for that cookie, taking a pause eating that cookie, and then taking a pause as well noticing what's going on in your body. And then the second thing to the how is your energy around food. So we don't talk a lot about energy with food when we're in that diet mentality. Because really focused on the facts of science. What is right, what is wrong? How many calories does this cookie have? How many macros how much protein? How many carbs, what am I gonna digest how much fiber all of those things can carry so much weight in our brains. And it's not that that isn't true. All of those facts are very true. But we rely on attach on to those facts so heavily that it creates a lot of suffering. The Buddha talks a lot about suffering being created by attachment or aversion. So what can we do to come back into alignment. And it's that part of our energy around food. So thinking about what kind of energy do you carry when you make food, or when you think about your next meal. And if you're carrying any kind of stress, anxiety, fear control any kind of negative energy around food, we don't digest it with ease. And we don't carry the amount of nutrients from that food that we should. And you might be feeling some digestive issues, you might be feeling some uncomfortableness in your body after you eat. And an Ayurveda they say, 95% of digestive issues can be healed by how you approach your food, not actually what you are eating. And this is really tied in with the energy, the nutrients around our food, your own energy when you eat. And if you are approaching your food with a sense of ease, a sense of gratitude, a sense of connection, you start to feel more free around food, and you start to shift your energy in a positive way. And an AI or VEDA they're saying that's 95% of your digestive system can be healed by changing your energy around your food. So and I Aveda they would rather have you eating a doughnut at home, fully present gratitude for where this donut came from all the nutrients that this donut carries. Instead of eating quickly, a spinach salad in your car, being really distracted, not having any kind of connection to your food, eating really fast. And think about that. So think about how our perspective can shift in a way. And that's a whole new concept, right compared to the mainstream approach. For me, it's like I was so attached on to the way that I knew was right, the way that the mainstream and all the diet books, the Abs Diet, the Paleo the Keto, the cleanses, the juice, cleanse, all of the books, none of them, were telling me about this how concept and energy and connection to food. And so when I started to approach my food in this way, it was uncomfortable to let go. And a lot of fear came up a lot of fear. And I wasn't really sure I felt a little confused. And like, is this gonna work like what is happening here. But it's that willingness to want to change so much, I was so tired of this negative energy, this just been so wrapped up in this control mentality around food and having to deal with the ups and downs having to deal with the restrictions all the time, I was so fed up with that, that my desire to change my relationship to food was so much stronger than this fear of what if this doesn't work, I can tell you coming out the other side, it changed everything for me. And it was amazing how simple it really is. I just want you to realize that if there's any kind of emotions coming up around this, or some thoughts are coming up, and your ego is screaming at me, and that's a lie. That's not true. This is so not like, whatever you're saying, Katie, it's just, this is so not what the science is telling me. And this is so what I haven't been doing. But take a step back. Just take a step back, bring some perspective on this. And just notice from a deeper place within what really this is showing up for you as because this can change everything for you. And it can be as easy and simple as some of these concepts. And we have this limiting belief that everything has to be hard. We think everything always has to be hard. We have to have really strong motivation. We have to be in control. I'm better than everybody else because I'm doing everything so much more. I have so much motivation. It's not about that. If you really look at it. Those are just beliefs holding you back from having more peace and more connection. and more love or resisting so hard because the ego is telling us to get wrapped up in all of these expectations, judgments, responsibilities. And if we can create some separation from those limiting beliefs, those old habits and patterns, and get into a desire that's stronger than staying in that cycle that's making you feel stuck, and just come into a place that feels good, that feels better for you, that makes you feel and live more freely. That's the direction that we want to move in. And also, I want to mention that there's a strong limiting belief that saying, if you follow this path of ease, and you feel more free, and you have more alignment, then you can't reach your goals, and you can't have results, I'm going to also tell you, that is completely false. I went into intuitive eating, I went into some of these practices of connecting to my energy, and releasing some of that control with a weight loss goal.

And I just want to make that very clear. Because I understand that a lot of the time, we can attach this motivation, this control on to results driven process. And I want you to know that your intention to have a sense of ease alignment connection with your body can exist, and you can have a health goal.

So this is the process. This is what we're focusing on when we're thinking about the how, and it can seem like a lot, but it comes down to our energy, what we're thinking about food and bringing that awareness in. So in this moment, just take what resonates leave the rest. It's not up to you to remember everything or take everything in, just take whatever feels good. And take that with you.

So let's get into the practical tools.

Tool number one. So this tool I learned from women food and God by Geneen Roth, so Geneen talks about this reflection of how we approach our food is a direct mirror, into how we approach our lives. It's really an interesting book and can create such amazing perspective. One of the practices, the main practice that she gives in the book is really powerful, and bringing that awareness that we just talked about. So the practice is, when you are hungry, eat, when you are not hungry, feel into the feels like what, okay, let me get into it. So when you're hungry, eat. And when you're not hungry, we're going to notice some of this awareness come up. And this is fueled by love, openness, and a desire to know more of who you are. So that is our greater intention with this, we want to understand you more, we want to understand your body more. So be curious, be compassionate, approach this with non judgement. And this is really a practice of when we have those cravings when we're reaching for food that we really don't want. And that might be that emotional attachment, or maybe something else that we're not even mindfully aware of, or consciously aware of. So noticing if you can even just create that pause that moment of reaching for that cookie, realizing you're not actually hungry, and then bringing that awareness into that moment. That's a really big step. When I was doing this practice, a lot of the times I just forgot, like completely I didn't even notice I wasn't even mindful of what was happening. And when I started to just only create that pause when I was reaching the food and realizing I wasn't actually hungry. Then that changed everything. Just having that pause, then I started to be able to come into this practice more. So whatever process it looks like for you, be compassionate with yourself. If you forget, like no big deal. Try it the next time. So when you're reaching for that food when you're not hungry, feel into the feels. So start to have an inquiry into your body sensations. What's the sensations you're feeling? What locations in the body that you're feeling it? Notice as those sensations might evolve, they might have a shape, a color, a temperature, and noticing does it change? Does it move? Does it shift? Does it stay the same? What does it feel like being curious. And then after that, bringing that awareness into your body, notice that maybe some sort of belief is coming up, maybe some sort of thoughts are coming up. And just know that you're not trying to understand these or get a takeaway, or try to improve on the next time. And it's not about not having that food. It's about understanding yourself more. And so if these beliefs or thoughts are coming up, just notice them with curiosity, not needing to have any kind of answers. And just being aware of your direct experience and being present with it. I can't tell you how crazy this changed my relationship to food, just the simple practice. And honestly, a lot of the time, the emotions were too uncomfortable, to just sit with the majority of the time, I just breathe, I noticed. I paused as long as I could. And then I reach for that food and ate it. And I gave myself credit for just having that pause. And it's not about doing what's right doing what's wrong, I ate the food. Sometimes food guilt would come up, I'd noticed the thought I'd move on, I'd say you know, I'm working on understanding myself more connecting with my body. I know this is a process, not everything's gonna look perfect. So I'm just gonna do the best I can today. And if I make that pause once or twice, then I'm crushing it. And I know the more that I do it, the more and more I will learn about myself, the more I will improve. And I will get into that aligned place easier and easier and quicker and quicker. So give yourself that space. Give yourself that compassion. It's not about doing something perfectly the right or the wrong. It's just about allowing that practice to come into your life and bringing that awareness. It's so powerful. I mean, there's like 10 books at the top of my head that I could list off about how powerful awareness is. Tara Brach, Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chodron, like and like so many more, so don't discount the amazing potential of what this awareness can bring into your life and into the relationship you have with your food.

Another tool for cravings that has helped me is just focusing on your breath. So a lot of the time after dinner, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV with my husband, and I'll notice these thoughts coming up. Okay, like ready for the chocolate? Or how about the ice cream? And like, what's next? What are you going to eat next, Katie, if I'm not wanting that food, because it's okay to want that food, that's also a truth, right? But in that moment, if I know that food is not going to serve me, maybe I'm just like, I know that sugar is not going to feel good in my body that night. Or maybe I just really want to have a good night's sleep. And I know that eating food is not going to help with that. Whatever it is, that is a hard place to be in because you don't want the food but it's a habit. And you're craving it. So being able to sit with yourself and breathing. It's a five in count, then you'll hold for five, and then five on the exhale. So it's a slow breath, noticing again, any kind of sensations in your body, bringing that recognition and awareness and being with yourself rather than looking for something, a food or a distraction to take you away from you in that moment. And again, that's really what we want more of we want to understand more of who you are. And so city with yourself is going to give you that opportunity to connect to yourself more. And honestly, you can do this breath without anybody around you knowing that you're working through this moment. See if you can just be with yourself for some some of you know five of those would be really impressive and see if that craving shifts or changes. Because for me, I started to notice, not all of the time, but some of the times, it was like this insane relief. It was like, Oh my gosh, I'm okay without needing to do anything right now. I'm okay just sitting here and being with myself. And that's was like such a huge relief for me because it was like, I don't need anything in this moment. And then I could just let it go, I could just watch that craving pass away. And that was just a really promising and empowering practice. Tool.

Number three is multiple steps. And I'll go through each of them. But this is from the practice of Ayurveda. So I'll go through each one of them. But it's really based on that how you're approaching your food. And they talk about this is really profound on your digestive system, and how your body is processing the nutrients of the food and what kind of energy that you're carrying into eating. So the first one is, how is your environment set up? So when you prep your food, can you connect to the environment of your kitchen? Can you move around, touch your pans, your countertops, notice what kind of energy is in your kitchen, noticing? What is there, what is present? Can you connect to the ingredients of the meal as you're making the food. And then when you're eating, can you create a space of calm and connection rather than distraction. So maybe finding a quiet place or if you're with your partner friends, being at the table connecting with them, maybe looking outside at nature, or looking at something that gives you a sense of calm a sense of peace, noticing how the environment is set up can change the energy around connecting to your food.

And then the second one is chewing your food 32 times. So chewing your food 32 times is a lot. Let me tell you, I've been practicing it. And by the 32nd time, it's like all the food is gone, basically disintegrated in my mouth. And so usually I only get to like 2020 times. But this is an Ayurvedic tradition. And there's a lot of science behind it. But it really breaks down the food more to allow for better and easier digestion. So digestion starts in the mouth with the saliva, and allows the body to absorb the nutrients of the food you're eating more fully. So you get all of those beautiful nutrients from the food you're eating.

And the next one is while you're eating three, silent OMs. And each ohm is creating a gratitude around your food and around what you're putting into your body. So you could do a silent ohm or you can just kind of do a mantra and just notice each one of these as you go through them. But the first one is acknowledging where the food came from, and how many people were connected to processing this food, what kind of transportation was necessary to get this food to your house. Number two, gratitude for the nutrients in the food. Number three, gratitude for your body and ability to process the nutrients in the food. I have been practicing this recently. And sometimes I forget completely about doing my three silent ohms. But I can tell you when I do and I pause and create that awareness and gratitude before I eat. It just creates a sense of peace of calm. Gratitude is such a high energy, having a sense of appreciation is like can put you in the highest vibration. So if you're approaching your food from that place, you can tell how your body will just take on those nutrients in such a profound way in such a loving way.

And then the last one probably my favorite is the food mantras. So I have a free PDF download. I'll put it in the show notes. And this is the daily mantras for food and body. And it's just a free resource if you would like to have those I read them in the morning and it sets up my vibration energy I want to carry into my day. The food mantras I'm going to talk about today is for when you're sitting down eating your food.

FOOD MANTRAS

I love my food, my food loves me.

I release any negative stress around this food,

I release any control around my food,

I thank my food by asking to please nourish us.

So all of those, you can take one leave the rest, they can just give that new energy, that new appreciation and to eating. And sometimes I'll replace the food mantra for the silent ohms. I was doing those food mantras before I learned about the Ayurveda practices so they both can work or just take whatever one feels better for you. And leave the other one for now. And maybe you'll pick it up later in your practice. So for all of these practices and tools, I will put them on the episode guide sheet, I will have that link available in the show notes. And if you want to download revisit them if there's one that really stood out to you that you want to remember and put up on your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator that is available for you. And if none of those if you're not ready to take on any of those practical tools. Like I always say just being here listening, bringing on new perspectives, noticing what feels good for you and your body. And taking that taking what feels best for you is, is so powerful is the most powerful thing that you can do rather than what you are doing. Really taking away some authentic alignment and understanding yourself more. And I want to say that you are exactly where you need to be right now. And any struggle that you're going through is an opportunity to work through it and be better on the other side, be healed and connect more of your truth. And that's really powerful and, and it's okay to be struggling. We're all struggling. It's okay to not be okay. And I know there were a lot of things today a lot of new practices, tools, a lot of new perspectives. So just take on what resonates with you and leave the rest. They Thank you for having the courage for showing up for yourself in your body. If you have any questions, always feel free to reach out to me on Instagram. And if you think somebody would enjoy this episode, if you think a friend might be interested in our discussion on food, please share it with them. I just think the more that we connect, the more that we can share, the more that we can support this podcast and empower our bodies and wherever you want to go. I will leave it with that today. Thank you so much. My name is Katie Kay, I will see you all next week.

FREE DAILY MANTRAS DOWNLOAD: Free BBF Mantras/Affirmations: Morning Mantras for Body & Food

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EPISODE REFERENCES:
Ayurveda Practices
Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach
Women Food and God, Geneen Roth
How to Do the Work, Dr. Nicole Lepera
Finally Full Course, Gabby Bernstein