62. Integrative Wellness & Life Coach / Cori Sartori
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Cori Sartori is a Integrative Wellness & Life Coach. She helps people change their mindset to reach their goals. She empowers high-achieving women to shift their mindset and to grow in their self-love, confidence, relationships and career.
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Katie Kay Graham
So today we have Corey Sartori on the podcast. And she's amazing. She is a holistic wellness coach. So we hit on a lot of just awesome and really relatable topics. So we talked about codependent relationships. We talk about her story with going through breast cancer, and how she personally worked through that combining self love and gratitude. We talk a lot about self love, and how important that is in her coaching. And so I'm really excited to dive in today's episode, I just think there's a lot of personal growth. There's a lot of tips and insights that Corey gives us. And it's just really uplifting and empowering the same exact way that she uplifts and empowers her clients in her wellness business called Mars holistic wellness. And it's just really, really inspiring to hear what she's been through and how she's grown out of that in her relationships and her struggles, and now helping other people do the same. So yeah, just soak in all of this beautiful information. I hope you enjoy the episode, sit back and take a listen. My pleasure.
Cori Sartori
Thanks for having me. Yeah,
Katie Kay Graham
it's so fun to have you we connected through the beautiful Denise Druce, who was also on the podcast. And we're all yoga instructors and kind of doing our own little specialty things in the wellness space. So I'm really excited to talk to you about your coaching business. And I always love to start when we bring on a guest to talk about their own personal story, because I think that's, you know, that's where the journey starts. Right? And I'm sure Cory, you've gone through your own struggles and that what, what makes you such a beautiful and amazing coach now. So can you tell us a little bit about what happened? Like how did you become a coach, helping other people kind of take responsibility for their own lives and their wellness, and then careers and relationships, and, and all of that.
Cori Sartori
So it's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short for you. So I started my own self development journey back in 2013. So before that, I had spent over a decade in a toxic codependent relationship. And I don't think I knew that it was toxic or codependent while I was in it, because you just don't know what you don't know. I absolutely love this person. And when we first started dating, I was 20 years old, and everything was fine. But then it just turned into this over a decade of just a toxic codependent relationship. He was very active in alcohol and drug abuse. And I was miserable and unhappy and just thought that that is how life was like, I didn't feel like happiness was meant for me. I thought if I ever did find happiness, then something bad would happen. So I just thought that like, this was it when I was when I would meet women that were happy. I thought it was BS, like I thought they were fake, because I was like nobody's this happy, like that just doesn't exist in the world. And so, in 2012, I decided after on and off for over a decade, I was like I have to end this relationship. It was just, I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be in a relationship with somebody that was active in alcohol addiction, because I was miserable. And I was a total enabler, and I just didn't know that either. I didn't know I was codependent but I finally was like, Okay, I can't do this anymore. I am the definition of insanity. Like I just keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. And so I ended the relationship sent him back to Salt Lake City at this time I was living in California, and back to you are in
Cori Sartori
trouble. I was I was really good in my career. Like I'd always been super successful. I think that's where I thrived. Because I could control more at work, right? I didn't realize how controlling I was at my job until like, I did my first yoga teacher training. And then I was like, Oh my gosh, I am so controlling. But I think it's because I could control what was happening at work. I couldn't control what was happening in my personal life. And so I thrived in business. When I came back to Salt Lake City in 2013. I just knew life had to be different. I couldn't keep doing the same thing over and over. I wanted to find more joy and happiness and and at the end of 2012 I think that's probably the end of 2012 or early 2013. I remember I'd watched the movie, the documentary The Secret. And I was like my first thing I learned about like manifestation and law of attraction and just you know, becoming a better person. I was like, Ooh, this is interesting. And then after I moved back to Salt Lake City, through a company I started working for I was introduced to vision and goal work. And so I started my own vision and Goal practice and writing out my vision 10 years from today and the goals that would help me to get there. And I'd always like done things in my life, but I hadn't ever really written goals down. And I didn't have a vision, I didn't know I always had it, I was just going with the flow hoping things worked out. But once I started my own self development, oh my gosh, my whole world opened up, like I started my vision and goal practice, I started going to workshops and seminars, and, you know, spending 1000s of dollars to do these things to make me a better person. And I remember the first thing, the first workshop or seminar I was out, I was sitting there. And I was just like, I don't need this. I, you know, just having my ego was running the show at that time. And I just thought I was better than everybody. And I just didn't need this, this help and this guidance, but I did so much. And I remember leaving that three day seminar with so much growth. And so I just kept diving in, like whether it was a documentary or a podcast or reading books, or going to seminars, I just kept going, going going. And so within my vision and goal work, I said to myself, I was like, I'm going to do a yoga teacher training. And I'd said I was all my goals for 2017. I was like, okay, in 2017, I'll get around to doing a yoga teacher training. But then it was like, What am I waiting for. And so I did my first yoga teacher training in 2014, the summer of 2014. And it was just life changing for me. Because I did it initially not to teach, I did it because I wanted to be more confident in speaking in front of other people, because that's what I did in my career was, I would speak in front of people. And I would get like hot and red and like, oh my gosh, you're like nervous. And it was just so overwhelming. It's like I needed to get a handle on this, because this is really what I want to do do within my business and my career. And so I did my yoga teacher training, I absolutely loved teaching had a lot of growth through it, like, you know, when you're learning about the Yamas, and the new Yamas. And, and just the history of yoga, there's so much there that just like transforms your life. And it's so much self development, self growth. And so I did that, and I just really loved giving back to my community. I think, as a yoga teacher, you get to be in service of other people. And and I loved it. And so I just continued my journey, I continued working on myself and growing and doing these seminars, I did a 12 week course, I believe it was around the end of 2015, early 2016. And in that course, is where I had my first experience with my own coach. So I would get to meet with them weekly and get that support. And I just knew that my calling was to help other people. And so I was miserable at my job, but it was like probably May of 2016 I had gone on a trip to Japan. And it was like the most life changing experience. I had a Reiki session the first day I was there. And I've never had Reiki done to me before. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like the the transformation I had in these two hours with this woman who didn't speak English. And I didn't speak Japanese. My sister in law was with me. And she translated everything, thank goodness. But like, that was just so powerful for me. And then I was in Japan. And I was thinking about my job. Like it was in my head the whole time. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I don't want this. I'm in this beautiful place having this amazing experience. And all I can think about is work. So I came back from that trip and I quit my job within like 30 days, and just was like, I'm gonna figure it out. I decided I was going to be a life coach. So I did my life coaching certification that summer I got a Reiki certification as well. And I started Morris holistic wellness, which is my business and, and so I've been life coaching since 2016. And I just so grateful that I have the opportunity to help women transform their lives, whether it's through, you know, growing their self love, or letting go of limiting beliefs or building their confidence or their business. Like I love that I get to be a part of their journey, and just help them love themselves a little bit more.
Katie Kay Graham
Oh, beautiful and very concise way going through your whole journey. Because yeah, there's a lot there. Yeah, and I want to dive into a lot of it. First, I love how you went on this journey of just like layers and layers and layers of self growth and discovery. And that's what it is, right? And that's what I've heard from the previous guests. We're all kind of grasping, we're trying to find the truth and align with our truth and figure out our quote unquote, purpose and and really what I've learned is like, we have to kind of surrender to whatever process aligns with us and it's really not up to us. And you mentioned the secret and that manifesting. I believe from my own journey that it is really and when you start to kind of learn it's really out of your own hands as far as where you're kind of meant to go. And it's really interesting how the universe aligns everything for you. And part of it is really just letting go of some that control and the ego you mentioned. And I was the same way I was just so controlling. And that was one thing I really wanted to hit on because the control mentality, it's just so easy to get wrapped up in. And we just get kind of trapped in our heads and overthinking and doo doo doo and the gogogo, partly because we have learned from society standards and belief systems and stories that we learned from our parents and our friends and marketing. But that's the way to, you know, create change in your life and the way to follow your purpose and get stuff done. You know, find it like grab onto your desires and move towards it work hard. And what I found and also just listening to the guests, it's like, the crazy part is, is when the change actually happen. Is it so unexpected? Like I'm thinking of Madeline Hackett's story, she was one of the earlier episodes, Cory, so I'm not sure if you heard it, but she was struggling with an eating disorder. And she did all of these therapies and ketamine therapy and talk therapy, and she went to rehab. And then she was just walking in, none of them worked. And she was just like, I'm just gonna live with this deceit, we're eating disorder, I'm just gonna have to live with it. She was walking in this park, and she saw this guy doing some breath work. And she was like, it was so weird, because I would never go up to some random dude and be like, Hey, can I sit down and do breath work with you. But she did. Like, she was just like, oh, this is interesting. Let me see what this guy's doing. And the breath work was what changed her relationship to herself her body and changed her eating disorder. So I see this over and over and over again, it's like, follow your intuition and let go and allow and kind of surrender to the process. And usually, the control mentality is just a mirror. Like whether we're controlling work, or we're controlling food, controlling exercise, it's actually really just a mirror into ourselves. It's not about the food. It's not about the career. It's not about the exercise, it's really about healing something within so that we can let go and really build a healthier relationship with those with those aspects. But yeah, I want to ask you like that surrendering, kind of allowing and letting go since you are that kind of type A control mentality like I am. What was that? Did you have to kind of surrender? And what did that process look like? I
Cori Sartori
think that first being aware that I was controlling, I didn't, I didn't know and I think it's still something I struggle with I and I especially in this last year, I've become very aware that it is just an illusion. There is just this illusion of control that I think that I thought I had over my entire life, right? Like I thought even even when I was in my codependent relationship, right, I thought I had some sort of control over my life. And I had no control over what was going on. I couldn't control the actions of my partner, I couldn't control his drinking or drug abuse. I couldn't control that. And, and I think that what for me really changed was actually just in this last year, really understanding that I have no control. So I have been running my business since 2016. Right i i started Morris holistic wellness. And I was like, all in I was like, let's do this, I'm gonna coach everyone, and I'm gonna change our lives. But right fear and self doubt happens for you. And it comes in. And so within probably nine months of me running my business, I let that fear take over. And so I went back to working a 40 hour a week job. So I was working 40 hours a week for somebody else. And then I was running my business the rest of the time. And, and life happens. I got married and I had a child through through those years. And then at the end of 2021, right, I started getting my momentum backup for my business and I was stoked. I was like, Okay, I'm quitting my full time job, I'm gonna go be a coach full time. And, and so right. I'm feeling like I have such good control of my life. Okay, I'm going to quit my full time job. I'm in a place where I don't have to work for somebody 40 hours a week, and then I'm going to be super successful, right? I thought I had this control over it. So in February 2021, I quit my full time job. And then in March of 2021, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And so I was like, Okay, this was not the plan. This was not this is not my vision. This is not in any of my goals, like what is going on? And I think through this process of having to go through breast cancer and realizing that I have no control over my life I have no control over the things that happened like right like I can be a good person and I can take right actions and I can take care of myself and eat right. But at the end of the day, the big with the big picture. I don't have any control. You know, there was never I was never going to get breast cancer, that was never going to happen to me, it's not in my family, it doesn't run in my genes. I'm a yoga teacher, I'm a life coach, like I eat healthy, right, I take care of myself, and I ended up with breast cancer. And I think through that journey of of having breast cancer and going through treatments, realizing that I don't have any control over what happens in my life was was huge. And and I think that's something that I keep telling myself, is just let go and let God right like, that's something that I know they say in AAA a lot is let go and let God because you don't have any control. All you can control is like, what you can control in the moment like making your bed or doing the dishes. But when you have zero control, when you have a disease, and you can't control what's happening to your body, it really makes you aware of the need to let go and trust in the universe, that the universe is going to guide you where you need to go, your higher power has got your back, and you just need to surrender to it. And I think that was probably my biggest lesson in in letting go of control and just, you know, letting my life happen, because it's happening for me, it's not happening to me. And and that was probably my biggest lesson and letting go of control. Because I became aware of that I was a control controlling person in 2014. But I still tried to control everything. I mean, I in my in my previous careers, like if I could control every situation, I wouldn't. And it was hard to learn that, okay, you can like trust other people and let go and delegate. But it wasn't until I was diagnosed with breast cancer that I really learned that lesson of you don't have any control over your life or what happens. All you can control is what's happening in that moment. And that's about it. And so it was a huge lesson for me, and I'm incredibly grateful for it. Hmm,
Katie Kay Graham
wow. I think that we are faced with our hardest struggles for a reason. And I think that's when we learn the most. And it's unfortunate, especially when we're faced with body struggles or diseases, that it really does drop us down onto our knees, and forces us to let go like you said, and one other thing that I heard from a is a well read a book that I wasn't in a but I had heard a quote that they use that is my best thinking got me here. So my if my best thinking got me here, then I really need to release and know that what I know, I no longer want, like because it's gotten me here. And I think that a lot of times when we're faced with these big, immense struggles, it's the way of the universe or the way of our higher self, allowing us an opportunity to surrender to something unknown. And, and what you were just talking about Korea, it can be such a huge, immense gift. I know for my back pain, that. I mean, there's some days that I am just so frustrated. And I'm obviously not in this spiritual place where I'm like, this is helping me heal. And this is helping me grow. I mean, some days I am I'm really grateful for it. But some days I just am, it's really hard. So I don't want to minimize the point of anybody's disease or disorder, pain or anything, or even just a struggle. I don't want to minimize that. Because I know that we all have our hard days and it we don't always have to be in this really high spiritual place to be like this is an opportunity. But I do think that there's a reason that each of us are faced with the struggles that we're faced with. And, and a lot of the time, I do really think that part of it is surrendering. And then the other thing a lot of it is it's allowing us an opportunity to look at our inner intuition. So your inner wisdom because we as humans, we just look outside of ourselves for the answers. And it's usually when we're faced with a struggle that we don't have the answers and we actually have to now tap into that higher self and that place within to, to check in and start to build it in that relationship. So I think it's just really amazing that you shared that story and thank you for being vulnerable with the codependency too. I actually heard Yeah, it's and that's like relationships. It's a really hard thing to talk about. I sent out this feedback form for the listeners and a lot of them said that if my question was if you could have more joy and happiness in your life, like what would be one and struggle that you can release and let go of. And it was interesting because a lot of people said, relationships as far as building a better relationship and not feeling so pulled on, not feeling like they had to people please or take care of other people or to a point where it was really taken away from their own lives. So I want to dive into that a little bit more just for the listeners, and all of us. I think relationships are one thing that also brings us down to our knees. And when we learn our learning how to love other people, and and what that like, what is that kind of balance for each of us? And what are those boundaries? And? And how can we take care of ourselves at the same time of taking care of them? And one thing I'm an add in before to the question, Cory. But one thing I read, and I love this book, Marianne Williamson a return to love, she talks about relationships as being this opportunity to heal with each of us. So like my partner. And it's usually the fact that we find the partner that actually has the opposite wounds from us, so that we're literally triggering each other. So he, like he has more of an attachment style. So he needs my attention when he's feeling wounded. And I'm a push away, so I push him away if I'm feeling triggered or wounded. So when Marianne Williamson said that our relationships are a way that we can heal ourselves, we can find the places where we're not finding that unconditional love in that circumstance. So we can heal from that and find that unconditional love. I would love to hear your point of view Corey on that, because going through a relationship that was codependency and maybe abusive to yourself,
Katie Kay Graham
and emotionally or however you felt and that I don't want to put words in your mouth, but and then moving now into a new relationship. How have you learned and grown from that? And what was that whole process like?
Cori Sartori
So I think what I really become aware of is I didn't have self love, and I look back on my life. So that Reiki experience I had in Japan, she asked me when I first got to the place, she said to me, what do you want, and I was like, I want to be open to a relationship. Because I had been single for so long. I think I'd been single for about three years. But I've never had like luck dating anyone. And I wanted to be open to a relationship because I wanted to have that I wanted to get married. I wanted to have a family, right? Like, it was on my vision board. So I wanted it. But I was so I guess closed off and not really aware of things that I needed to work on. And so as I was in that Reiki session, she just kept asking me, like, tell me about your previous relationship. And so I was telling her about my codependent toxic relationship. And she says, No, you need to go back further. Like it started before that. And so I was like, What are you talking about? Right. And so I just kept going back. And what she made me realize is, from the time I was 16 years old. And I think at the time, when I saw this woman, I was 34. And so that had been what, almost 20 years where I was in this same pattern of I need to change myself to be loved. I need to change who I am. So somebody will love me. And I look back and now it's like right now that I'm old enough, and I'm smarter. I realized that when I was 16, the person I was dating was a narcissist. And my mom told me, but you know, I didn't believe a mom, because I was 16. And mom didn't know anything back then. But she knew everything. And so that was a pattern I started at the age of 16 is, is because of the way that he's He spoke to me and he told me, he didn't like the way I dress. I was very much a tomboy when I was 16 I wear boy clothes. I mean, I had long hair and did my makeup, but I always dressed like a boy, I hung out with boys. And he didn't like that about me. So he would start picking at me and you know, you should dress this way or you should act this way. I mean, even we went to junior prom. And because I didn't act lady like enough, he ignored me the whole junior prom and made me cry. Like, I was 17 years old. Like what? So she made me realize that since then I started I wanted to change who I was for other people and so and not just in my romantic relationships, but in a lot of relationships. If somebody questioned the way I dress, the way I looked, the way I acted, it would make me feel like I needed to be different. And so that was just a pattern that I created a young a young age and and I just kept living into that and tell she helped me be aware of it like oh my gosh, I'm trying to be somebody different for other people and I don't need to be anybody else about myself. And and I think even you know as I was My codependent relationship, I kept thinking, if I love him enough, he'll change. If I love him enough, he'll change. And it's like, nobody's going to change for you. People only change when they're ready and they're willing, and they want to write, nobody will ever do that for you. And I didn't realize that for a very long time, I needed to go through all my years of self development and growth, to understand that I don't need to be different for anybody. And I don't need to change anybody, like we are perfect and hold just as we are. And so here's the thing about my old relationship and my new relationships. So it's with the same person. So I spent, I met my husband, I was 15 years old, and we were friends. And then we were in that toxic codependent relationship for years, right. When I ended that relationship, I was never going to talk to him again. I hated him. Like I despised him just because of all the heartache and the brokenness, and the resentment and all of these things that I had towards him because of the relationship. So I never, I was like, I'm never gonna talk to him again. And then it was the fall of 2015, I was in a seminar I was in. A woman was speaking. And she was sharing forgiveness. She was talking about forgiveness and the importance of forgiveness, more of to yourself more of like a self forgiveness thing, which I think is really valuable. It's something I offer my clients when I work together, I'm like, You need to forgive yourself every day. So I remember sitting there and she's talking about forgiveness. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I've never forgiven Jake, for anything I've held on to so much anger and resentment, and didn't take any responsibility for my actions, right? It was always his fault, because he was an alcoholic. So I was sitting in that, that, that seminar, and I just was like, I just had this feeling of like, I need to reach out to him, and I need to apologize. And so I was in Vancouver. And so I texted him, and I was like, Hey, this is Corey, can we meet up? I'd like to have a conversation with you. And we haven't talked in three years. And he was like, what, what's going on? Like, can we talk right now? And he's like, No, I'm in Vancouver, like, Oh, can we talk when I get back? And so I met him that next week at the park. And I told him like, I'm sorry for who I was in our relationship. I'm sorry that I was an enabler. I'm sorry that I was so unkind. And it was like, no, no, no, like, you don't need to apologize. And I was like, No, I do I need to, I need to say I'm sorry. And I need to take ownership of who I was like, I wasn't perfect. But it was always easier to blame him to take any personal responsibility. So I had this conversation with him, I forgive him, I take personal responsibility. I leave that conversation like feeling so light and free. Like, I remember walking away like walking back home from the park being like, oh, my gosh, like, is this what it feels like to let go of all that anger and negativity and resentment, like it was crazy. And I was never going to talk to him again. That was it. But then six months later, you know, magically things happened? And he came back into my life. And he said to me, you are a different person. I want what you have. And I was like, Oh my gosh. So I was like, Okay, so basically my husband like my first life coaching client, because I was like, Okay, let me tell you, all these things I do. You know, I focus on gratitude, I do vision and goals, I do all these things. And so that was really the foundation for us building a friendship again. I mean, I remember when he came back into my life, it was like, don't fall in love with me. Like, we're not doing this again, I don't want to date you again. But I'll help you. And he just had been sober for three years, and had put so much time and energy into being sober, and becoming a better person. And then when we started being friends again, and I started teaching him gratitude and all of the things I've been doing.
Cori Sartori
It was really the foundation for us getting back together. And by the end of that year, we were engaged in the next year, we were married, and the next year, we had our son and so it's so incredibly crazy. I mean, I would never thought that I would end up with Jake, but I'm so grateful for our past because it taught us so much. And I never wish that on anyone. I never wish anybody to have to go through that kind of a relationship. But now we have this relationship that is just built on trust and love. And, and growth like that is I think why we have such a solid relationship is because we are both committed to working on ourselves. Like we're so committed to working on a relationship and, and having great communication. And so I don't know if that answered your question.
Katie Kay Graham
Yeah, it did. Oh my gosh, Cory, that is such an incredible story. And I love how it's the same person like you went through this crazy evolution. I just like there's so many things I want to dive into. But there's three things that I really want to hit on what you just said in that story. The first one was that the ego loves to Tell us that the change is the other part, like the change needs to be from the other person. So it's not your fault, like he needs to change, he needs to do this, this this. So really, and it's incredible, you did all this amazing work. And so I can tell why you would be this amazing coach. But really, it's we need to come back to ourselves and we need it's really a reflection into where do we need to heal. And when we start to, when we start to say it's the other person that needs to change, that's just the ego tricking us and we stay in that judgment cycle. And we'll stay in that hard forever, until we come back to ourselves and be like, where do I need to heal. And the really cool thing about your story, Cory, is that it's proof in the way that once you heal yourself, that will reflect back on to the other person. And it's not our responsibility to change them. But if we change, and we're spreading this amazing light, and they see our growth, they want that right, all of our hearts want to be in this place of unconditional love and acceptance and flowing through life in this beautiful grateful way. And that's what the soul really wants. And so I really have to have belief and faith that as I grow and change, the people around me will only be uplifted. And excuse me. And so in your story, when you said, what your husband said is I want what you have, like, there it is like there's the proof. And that is so cool. Because I think a lot of us when we're diving into this personal growth, we have to have faith at some level, we literally have to have faith that it will reflect out into our lives and into other people. And so when we're in an argument and you want the other person to change, and like actually you need to do this, this and this, it is really hard to be like, Okay, let me reflect on this. Let me see where I can heal. Like it's the opposite of what our reaction normally is. Oh, yeah. So I think for me, like I have to hold on to a lot of faith and belief in myself and trust in the process. So I'm so glad you shared that story, Cory, because there is like, there's proof in that. And so I think like people that are having that struggle in a relationship, as far as, you know, oh my gosh, like the holding on to and the trust and the, you know, healing. If you're putting in the work to heal yourself, like, you're like, oh, they should be doing that too. And they should be doing this and this. But just really sinking into this space of like, you can only really change yourself. And actually letting go of needing to change them or control them, like really frees a lot of space in your life. And once you can let go of that. It's actually really freeing like you were talking about, it's just like when you're walking out of the park, you're just like, oh my gosh, is this like this would have feels like it does, like I've had that feeling too.
Katie Kay Graham
And it's like once I realized that all of my judgments on other people were actually just a reflection of judgments on myself. It was really freeing. And I think the ego tells us that oh gosh, don't like don't look at like where you're judging everybody else and how that's actually really a reflection of where your pain points are and your wounds. But when you really accept that it's actually such a like relief, because now you don't have to change anybody else or control anything, you just start taking care of yourself. And that leads me into point number two, what you said about forgiveness. And it's so funny when you said I went to this seminar on forgiveness. I had written forgiveness down on my paper like right before you said it, I was like cringy and I was like okay, this is so good. Forgiveness is is something that they talk a lot about in spirituality and this is like a really big component. I follow Gabby Bernstein and Marianne Williamson and of course in miracles and all that. So forgiveness actually is one of the key principles and I didn't really understand that. And then I started to dive into it and what you said you were like I'm I was holding on to this anger, this resentment. And forgiveness is the process of unfolding, which is so beautifully put like on holding, like letting that you know whatever you're grasping onto it's like this letting go And I love that analogy because I feel like I'm holding on to a lot of stuff, a lot of blame and victimhood and resentment and anger. And it's like, oh my gosh, in an instant. And sometimes it's a process, right. But in an instant, I can be in that forgiveness. And I use the practice of just when I see my fears pop up throughout the day, I can say, like, oh, I noticed that fear, I can forgive that fear, I can forgive myself for having that fear. Because that's just my natural tendency. And now I can choose something different. I can choose love. Yes. So this process of forgiveness, and when it's kind of more of a bigger picture of something that really we need that on hold and let go of it is a journey and kind of process of understanding that but once you know the concept of forgiveness, it's really beautiful and releasing. And then the third thing I heard you talk about was that the subconscious, that belief system that you needed to change. So I actually am doing this, I my friend Emily just told me about this manifestation course, it's free to be magnetic. And so I've been doing these meditations that have been really impactful. And they've actually been allowing me to dive into my subconscious and some of those beliefs that I've held on to, but it's crazy to think so when we're kids, and we're learning and we've seen all these things, how much we actually hold on to those things, and we're bringing them into our life. So in our lives are run by our subconscious, right, it's like 90%, of what we do is actually our subconscious stories and beliefs and all that so.
Katie Kay Graham
So the, like, the subconscious belief systems, I was going through this meditation and diving in deeper into some of my early childhood, and I have a memory of my mom, and she used to grab her skin and grab her fat and just like love her so hard, because it's like, Oh, mom, like I love your skin is so like, so nice, and I love your like curly red hair. And, and she, she went through this weight loss program at 50. And then she like dyed her hair and stuff. And I and so my subconscious belief was that since she didn't feel good enough in her own body, and she changed some things about her that I needed to do the same thing. So since my my son, my mom want to lose weight, and she, you know, change your hair color, like simple things like that. And in reality, my mom is beautiful at whatever weight she wants to be at. And I'm so happy that she decided for herself that she wanted to lose weight when she was 50. And, you know, her hair color is like gorgeous and, and and I'm not saying that because I think a lot of us think that if we say these things that we're blaming our moms or parents or so we keep them really hidden in the dark. But the truth is, is I was just a kid, and that's just the thing that I grabbed on to and that's the thing I you know, believed whether it was true or not. And so when I can go back into this subconscious, I can literally let go of these belief systems just like you did Corey about you don't need to change yourself, you're perfect just as you are. And for me, it's like, I never needed to you know, like that wasn't even true. Like the, the, the belief wasn't even true in the first place. So it's really fascinating. And I'm really glad that you brought that up because that just is hitting my heart as far as what I've been working on right now. And I invite all the listeners if they are curious more about this, like obviously reach out to Cory and do coaching and everything and then this to be magnetic like that their meditations are beautiful as well. And I just feel like I've been talking for 10 minutes, so I apologize taking over but those were like three really big points that I just was like, Oh my gosh, like Cory Yes, yes. So let's like get into your coaching now. Because I, I mean, I can just tell from your story. It's like you've gone through so much personal growth, I can see how that would reflect back into your clients. But can you tell us about your coaching and what what do you help your clients with specifically, maybe there isn't a specific thing, but what do you see your clients who may be struggling with and what is maybe a simple outline of the process that you go through with them.
Cori Sartori
Okay, so, I am blessed to work with women and I work from women from All walks of life, and I get to help them with kind of everything. So I am a big, you know, I love helping women with their self belief, their self love, building their confidence, and then growing their business, because these are all things I've done. And so when I work with clients, I don't offer them anything that I haven't already done, I'm not like, oh, try this, I hope it works out, you know, like, it's like all of the things that I offer within my program I have done to transform my own life. And that's why I became a coach really is because I have learned so much of how to start loving yourself, how to start believing in yourself, how to start accepting yourself for who you are, I learned so much about forgiveness and letting go of limiting beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves. Like, I gathered all this information, I was like, Oh, my gosh, I have to share this with people, I have to share this with the world. Because you don't know what you don't know, right? Like we all have blinders up about who we are, we all are raised by different human beings that are on their own journeys, trying to figure out who they are. So we just, we spend so much of our childhood, getting told who to be or how to be your who to show up. And then we're given all these limiting beliefs about ourselves, we have to spend our whole adulthood trying to like uncover all of that and heal from it right. And so, being able to share what I know with other women, just is me of being in service, right? Like that is truly my calling I know in this world is my it's my passion purpose is to help people go from where they are to where they want to be. And so I've helped women with codependency issues, right, because that's something I've worked with. I've helped women build their businesses. I've helped women with autism, autoimmune diseases, I've helped all kinds of women, but really, where my passion is helping them start loving themselves. So we work on forgiveness of self, and others, because that's so powerful. I coach them on self love and self belief and self worth. And I coach them on vision and goals, because that's such a huge thing for me. And I know that if I didn't start a vision and goal practice for myself, I wouldn't be living the life that I am now. And I think that's always when I start working with women, I'm like, hey, I want you to write out your 10 year vision. And they're like, what, like, I don't know where I want to be from 1010 years from now. And I'm like, that's fine, because it will evolve and will change as you grow. And you become the person that you're meant to be right. Like for years, my vision would change. I you know, I think 10 years ago, when I was writing it out, I was living in California. And and I wasn't married, I didn't have any kids. And as I grew myself and learned who I really was and started to love myself, I was like, Oh, actually, I do want to be married, I do want to have kids. And so my vision changed, right? I'm living in Salt Lake City and not living in California. So you get to change your vision. And then you get to create goals to help you get there. So we do a lot of that I help women with routines, and a lot of letting go of the stories and beliefs. And then if they want to grow their business, that is something that I help them with, as far as understanding how to use social media to build their business, because I think we're all trying to figure out how to use social media as our marketing tool. And you just don't You don't know what you don't know until somebody's like, do this. And you're like, okay, cool.
Cori Sartori
I help them shift their money mindset. And so So I love I love working with women on whatever they need. And I've worked with, a lot of the women that I work with, are in relationships that are maybe with a narcissist, or maybe with somebody that's active in addiction, and things like that. And I always tell them, when we start working together, it's like you can't change that person, you can only change yourself. But the self love that they'll they get from my program is is more important than changing their partner, right, the finding value in who they are and really connecting to their truth is what they need. And I think that's something that I found was I just needed to really connect to Corey, I need to figure out who I was and who I really wanted to be and how I wanted to show up in the world. And before I started self development, I wasn't showing up in the world I wasn't my best self and so now that I get to share my information and my knowledge with these women in my program like I hope that that ripple effect reaches so many more people I hope that with me helping these women heal from their trauma or their relationships that they get to help others heal or they get to be that example to their kids and what it looks like to be a healthy mom. And and I really love helping these women you know, I love helping them with business but gosh, helping them love themselves and believing themselves is is everything because I don't think that you can really have a successful business or have a successful relationship. Until You choose to work on yourself to start loving yourself and and start becoming the person that you're meant to be. And so, you know, I love that I get to coach women from all walks of life. But you know, if you're somebody that wants to grow your self belief, if you want to grow confidence, and if you want to grow your business, like, let's do it, I work with a lot of women that are either in network marketing that want to build their business or women that are in real estate, but it all starts with, you need to love yourself first. And you need to believe in yourself first. Because if you don't have that, then you're not going to be able to like, you know, create a million dollar business or whatever you want to do. It really needs to start with inner work. And so everything I do starts with, let's, let's see what you're holding on to, let's see, and my foundation is in holistic life coaching. And so that's what I love to is, when I work with women, we work on their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual being, not just one aspect, it's like, Let's heal your whole being so you can really step into your power. Hmm,
Katie Kay Graham
yeah, I love that tool of the 10 year vision. And I think that could be used for anything like how you want to have, like, what is your 10 year vision of how your relationship to food is like, Yeah, is it like with ease and flow and love and or like body or whatever and, or like just the big picture is great as well. And that is such a fabulous tool. So thank you for giving that to us. And yeah, I can totally relate to you have to have the self love. And with my journey with my body. It wasn't until I just accepted the weight. And how I looked and really started to love myself was when I stepped into food, exercise, all of that with a sense of ease and connection. And whatever weight I wanted to lose, it just dropped off. Because at that point, I just love myself and I was honoring my body. And I was having patience. And and that's what it takes. And I think like, again, like bringing up the ego, it wants us to work hard and stay in the comfortable. And that requires us to just get focused on external things and kind of leading us down the wrong path. And not that the ego is bad. It's just kind of part of the human condition. But we kind of do, we just have to be aware, like, we have to be that witness to it. And so we can be like, oh, you know, it's okay, like, I get that. Like, you're we used to focus out on these diet books. And we used to do it this way. But you know, it's okay, like we can, we can still be okay with creating change and doing it a different way. So you kind of have to always talk to myself. So you set an example. But it's just like talking to myself all the time. Yeah, Cory, do you have any other tools, or tips that you would recommend to our listeners that you like to use with your clients?
Cori Sartori
I always like say, yes, do the vision work. I think getting clear on where you're you want to go is powerful. Right? Because I think you know, you'll hear the analogy with you get in your car and you have no destination, you're just driving around in circles. And I think that's the same thing if you don't have a vision of where you want to head. So even when I work with people on their business, it's like I need you to give me a vision of your business five years from today, right? But when I'm when I'm doing vision and goal work with clients, we're creating a vision that creates balance in their life. And it is a holistic approach, right? So we're not just focused on your career, or your personal life or your health life, it's everything. So let's create a vision 10 years from today, that encompasses your career, your relationships, your health, everything. And so we create that vision and then we create the goals to help them get there and I'm a big believer in creating goals in balance. And so you know, I'm give me 10 a 10 year goal for personal health and career give me a five year goal for personal health and career give me a one year goal for personal health and career. And then what are those actions you can start taking today to get to those goals. And so we break it down. And so those are some things. But as far as like self love, I think for me, I'm a big believer in positive affirmations. Right? You have to speak kindly to yourself, you have to have positive self talk. That self love will really help you. Like I think for me, the self love that I gained in the past decade of working on myself was so important because last year going through cancer, losing my hair through chemo, right which for me, like my hair was like half of my personality. I was like you loved my hair this big, beautiful like head of hair, and losing my hair was so hard And, and it is difficult, you know, your cancer is already hurting, you're losing so much of yourself and then you lose your hair. And it's heartbreaking. But also losing my left breast. So I had a mastectomy just on my left side. So my chest is not even at all my four year old loves to point that out to me. Um, but if I didn't love myself, like, I would worry about the way that my eye looked without my hair, I would worry about, you know, having a chest that's uneven, but because I love myself, like, I embrace it, like, this is what it is, and then I love who I am. And so it doesn't matter what I look like on the outside, because I know that the person I am on the inside is more than that, like, I'm very grateful for my body, I'm very grateful that, you know, it allows me to hug my son and to, you know, do yoga and things like that. But vice Loving yourself is more important than anything and and until you can really love yourself for who you are, you're going to maybe let your your body thoughts take over. And I mean, even the other day, my husband asked me he's like, you know, how do you feel about your body? And I'm just like, I'm fine, fine. It doesn't bother me at all that I have a completely, you know, wonky chess, that's
Cori Sartori
fine. I don't, I'm happy because I love myself, right. So so when I work with clients, like loving yourself is everything and so doing positive affirmations, and maybe you don't believe it today. But the more you say it, the more you are going to believe it. And and I mean, that's something that I even do with my son, He's four years old, but let's start those positive affirmations now. So you are so confident that when somebody tells you that your hair is not right, or right, like says something negative to you, you won't believe it. Because I think, you know, for me, my mom was that person who was always on a diet and she would my mom's an amazing person, but she was like, Oh, you're you have big thighs, or you have cellulite, she would point these things out. And it would just make me think I was less than, and I don't want that for my son. And so it's like, start the positive affirmations now. So I always tell clients, like that's one of the first things we do is you start saying positive affirmations. But another thing that is like the foundation for all of my self development, it's another thing that I ask all my clients to do is have a gratitude practice. Like you have to have a gratitude practice. And, and this is something that for me is completely trained, transformed my life. It's something I've been doing for nine years, and so committed to being grateful for all of the beautiful things that I have in my life, so that I can attract more things into my life to be grateful for and when even when I was going through cancer, I decided, okay, instead of being a victim to this, instead of being broken by this, I'm going to be grateful for this. Because obviously, it's it's I'm supposed to go through this, it's supposed to teach me something, this isn't my end all be all, this is my launching pad. And so I focused on being grateful for it. And I was able to get through that really hard time with a smile on my face. And I mean, sometimes I was saying crying my eyes out. But there's so much more good and joy because I focused on being grateful that I, you know, had an amazing husband who went to every single appointment with me, I focus on being grateful that I was able to be present with my son, and watch him grow up, I was grateful for that my mom and dad were showing up for me and I just had an amazing community. So gratitude is is everything. And I think if that is the only thing you do, that's the only thing that you choose to do. Like it will transform your life. And so, you know, self love, do your positive affirmations, but focus on gratitude, be grateful for the body you have I think I you know, even my go the fact that I had cancer in my body, I still am grateful for my body. And I tell him, I'm grateful for it. Because I'm still alive. I'm hopefully healed. And and I'm just going to continue to be that way.
Katie Kay Graham
Wow, such a powerful example of being in that place of gratitude, even when you're face to face with a disease that could end your life. Yeah, I mean, that's incredible to hear. I think, what what I feel like I have such a privilege of talking with people and especially people that are faced with diseases and like real life changing struggles, is that it? Like really brings in the gratitude into my life because I'm like, wow, like they were faced with the hardest thing. And I have, you know, pain here and here and I'm dealing with this, but if they can do it, I can do that too. And I can really just be soaking in the moments of life wherever I'm at and, and also the impermanence of the body of it's always going to be fluctuating and challenging. And when we're in that higher vibration of gratitude and higher self, we can see that the attachment to the body we can be unattached to the little self, to the ego and to just the impermanence of life and of the body. And so it's such a beautiful example, Cory, of how you can just be in this amazing place and, and still be really struggling. And going through things that are really, really hard. So it's, it's amazing that you are a beautiful example for for me and all of our listeners today. Yeah, and I just want to ask, I love to ask three questions at the end of the episode, the first one, if you have any last messages or words of advice for our listeners. The second one is, can you tell us your daily wellness routine? Just to give us all all a little inspiration?
Cori Sartori
Okay, so first question, um, say it again.
Katie Kay Graham
So if you have any words of wisdom, or any, anything you want to share, just to kind of wrap up the episode, or let the listeners know about self love or moving through body struggles. Yeah.
Cori Sartori
I think that, you know, self love is so powerful, and really connecting to your self worth, will be something that changes your life. And it's a lot of times we lose that when we're younger, right? Like, I started losing myself love when I was probably a teenager, because kids are mean, and right, being a teenager is very difficult. And, and it's such a hard time in your life. And so making a choice to love yourself, no matter what is, is powerful. And if you are struggling with with having self love, like hire a coach, go to a therapist, like find somebody that can support you, because you can't do it on your own. I think that's one thing that I learned is I've learned in life and I've learned in my business is I need to ask for help, when I don't know what to do. And I think that my journey of self love is maybe I wasn't even aware of how much I didn't love myself until I started working on myself. But I'm so grateful that I got help from other people. And I had examples of women that did fully love themselves and and I aspired to be there. And so I was able to connect with mentors, and other women. So love yourself, find a community of women, right, you've created a community of women, Katie, that is just powerful. And so it's like, connect with that community connect with those other people that are on the same journey that are working on loving themselves and growing themselves because you'll hear other people's stories and it'll resonate with you. And it might be that light that flips on for you when you hear somebody else share something. And so, um, you know, find a way to love yourself, if you are somebody that's not loving yourself right now, in this moment, reach out, reach out to me reach out to Katie reach out to somebody, because when you start making that transformation within yourself, the light that fires up inside of you will just, it just comes out of you. And I think you know, for me, I know that I have great energy, right? Because I've done so much work on myself. And when you love yourself, you are that energy and and you'll put that out into the world. And so everything has to start with you. Right everything starts in our mind. And so make the choice to love yourself. Even if it's hard. Make the choice to love yourself even on the days where you feel like crap, make the choice to love yourself even when somebody else is putting you down and and you know there are those actions that you can take I say just start with positive affirmations start being grateful for who you are in this very moment. Stop trying to be anybody else. Just be you because that's the most beautiful thing right? We're all unique beings. And it's a miracle that we've been able to make it to this planet right when you think about reproductive like it's amazing and so you are an incredible miracle in this world and you are meant for love and and so love yourself because you are whole and complete just as you are and and if you need support, ask for it. I mean there's so many women out there that are ready to cheer you on and tell you that you are loved and you are beautiful just as you are and so everything I really think starts with self love like that's really the one of the first things that we dive into in my coaching program is self love because that's where it all starts
Katie Kay Graham
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna interject before you dive into your wellness routine. Yeah, I actually had a note on my paper, I was going to point this out as well as when you were going on your personal journey, you sought out people that could help you grow. And same with me. It's I was reflecting actually on this yesterday, I was like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe how many people I look up to as mentors, as people that have held my hand through my growth. It's incredible. I mean, a huge, like, most of them have been on the podcast, but a huge list of people that really have supported me. And I mean, I think about the time and the money and the investment I put in, and I'm like, Thank God, I did that. Like, yes, like, I will always look back and be like, I like money. And I always love to say this, like, it's just an exchange of energy. Yes. And so if you're using that energy to help grow yourself, like you're showing up for yourself, like, even like, I like to tell you that like when I signed up for my yoga teacher training, I had to like, basically ask permission from the people I love because I was in a place of so much insecurity, that I couldn't take ownership of my own life, but that's okay. Like, that's okay. But just know that if you got to ask permission and spend the money on yourself and get through that first hump, like get over that hump, you will start to bring in that self love what Cory is talking about, and you're just gonna, like each step, you're gonna find the people along the way that will help you. You know, nutritionists, energy healers, yoga instructors. I mean, it's like I poachers, there's just so many people and Cory, and it's just like, fantastic. What you're doing, and I just like can tell your whole heart and soul is in service of helping your clients. And I know, we could just keep talking about for another three hours of just like all the modalities and helping that physical, mental, spiritual, and I'm sure you would tell me that it's just so personalized for each person that you guys work through and do. So we will. We won't go too far into that. But yeah, and I know Cory is like, she's so open. Like, I just reached out to her on Instagram, like, immediately, it was like, Yeah, let's do that interview. And so if you have any questions for her, like, that might just be the first step right? I'll just reach out to Cory ask her a question. So yeah, I'm just so grateful for you, Cory. And then yeah, before we leave, let us know what your own daily wellness routine is. And then also, our last question is, Where can we find you?
Cori Sartori
Okay, awesome. So I love wellness. Obviously, I'm a, I'm a holistic wellness coach, right, like, that's my jam. And so I'm a big believer in a morning routine, because I know that when you have routines, you're more productive. And so for me what my morning routine usually looks like my wellness routine, is I tried to start my day with I like to do like a 45 minute or 60 minute workout, like I'm that person where like, I need to go to a studio and you need to tell me what to do. Because I think after 2020 and practicing yoga in my living room by myself for so long, I was like, I never want to do a workout in my house again. So now I'm like, please let me go to the gym. So like this morning, I went to yoga, I did the 60 minute class, like that's my jam. So I like to start my day with moving my body because I think it sets the tone for the day, right, it puts me in the right mindset. And after that, I'll usually will eat breakfast I'm very boring, I eat oatmeal every day for breakfast. But then I will do my positive affirmations and declaration. So like I have in in my office, I have probably I want to say about 10 affirmations written down. And I will read those affirmations out loud I'll have like my crystal pick a crystal for the day and then start my saying my affirmations and my declarations. And I changed them when I feel like okay, I really believe that now or I've attained that. So I'll read that I read all my goals for the month. So every month at the beginning of the month, I'll write out a list of goals that I have for my business for myself or my family. And I read those out loud right because I believe in manifestation you know, so that's why I'm saying my positive affirmations and my declarations and then I read my goals out loud for the month and then I will read my life vision so like I am such a vision person I have my one year vision written out my five year my 10 year and then I have a life vision so every day I read my my life vision out loud and and that's really where my wellness routine is. And then I spend about 10 minutes meditating. And so that's how I like to start my day, you know, like and I it's, you know, overall it probably takes me about an hour and a half, two hours but when I start my day, whether it's spending time with my husband or my son or it's working like I'm in the right headspace because I've moved my body. You know, I move the energy within me and I've had my healthy breakfast with my Tea and I have read my positive affirmations and my vision and goals and and it just really sets me up for a day of positive positivity a day living in possibility and and letting go and understanding that the universe has got my back and is going to support me in attaining all of those things that I want to have. And so that's really how I start my day and I think meditation is just, it's maybe my form of prayer. It helps me be in the moment and sometimes I say a mantra or sometimes I listen to a guided meditation. Sometimes I try to quiet my mind but that just really also helps me just be with myself. You know if those inspirations come in fantastic and if they don't, it just gives me that time to quiet down and just be still for a moment because right will go go go go go, go go. So getting that time to just be present is is really powerful. So yeah, that's what my morning looks like.
Katie Kay Graham
Wow, wow. And then where can we find you?
Cori Sartori
Everywhere. So I am on Facebook at Cory Sartori. I am on Instagram at coach Cory Sartori. I am on YouTube as Coach Corey Sartori and I have a website for my business. It's called Morris holistic wellness.com And I do have a podcast it's called Life Balance for high achieving women, the podcast. So yeah, I think those are I'm also on LinkedIn at Corey Sartori so you can kind of find me everywhere if you if you search Cory Sartori, you'll find me I'm sure. I don't think there's not many of us out there.
Katie Kay Graham
Awesome. Awesome. Thanks, Cory. I just like I'm sure, like we had so many amazing nuggets of information. And I know I'm like I'm like just thinking in my head. I'm like, Okay, I have like 10 Instagram video posts now because we just hit on so many awesome, like little tips. And so I just like that was super fun. And I like I got so much out of the conversation. I'm sure the listeners did too. And I'll put all your contact information and your listeners like checkout Korea's podcasts. I'm sure it's fantastic, just as she is, and so they can reach out to you. I'll post obviously all the links, and they can just click on those. And yeah, I just invite the listeners, like if this is feeling good, if something Cory said is intuitively, you know, knocking on your door, or if you have a question, always reach out to her like she's just so open and amazing. So she'll lead you in whatever direction that you need to go. And yeah, thanks. Thank you so much, Cory, for being here today.
Cori Sartori
Oh, it's my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me, Katie. I appreciate it. Yeah,
Katie Kay Graham
of course. And thank you listeners for showing up sending so much love to you and your body. See you next week.
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Episode 2 Madeleine Hackett: https://katiekaygraham.com/blog/2
Episode 15 Katie Barbaro: https://katiekaygraham.com/blog/15
Episode 8 Becky Cannon: https://katiekaygraham.com/blog/28
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